6 thoughts on “Lost That Loving Feeling?

  • September 24, 2012 at 9:49 pm

    John and Elaine,
    So many couples are struggling with the lack of intimacy, affection and communication in long term relationships. Many take the easy way out, fall into having an affair, and break up. It is not easy to face the problems head on, to go for couples counseling opening up to a raw emotional nakedness with your partner. But the rewards are often well worth the effort and the temporary emotional struggle toward connection and wholeness.
    Dr. Erica

    • January 3, 2013 at 5:35 pm

      Thank you for your important input Dr. Erica,

      We agree with you. Unfortunately so many couple’s come to see us only after enduring long periods of sadness and pain in their relationships – first attempting some of the other coping mechanisms you mention. But with a committed effort to heal, relationships can and do endure. Love is rekindled and romance is reborn in the relationships. Change is not always easy, but it is attainable.


      John & Elaine

  • September 24, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    Sometimes you can think everything is going great from your half, and the other half can STILL be having an emotional affair.That is what happened to me.It took me 6 months to figure it out, and in those 6 months I gave all I could… He had been having the emotional affair for 18 months…Even when you pay the best attention, you can’t always tell…

    • January 3, 2013 at 6:01 pm

      Hi and thank you for commenting on our blog with your personal experience. We are sorry that even after you have invested serious efforts to repair your relationship, you were still met with the rejection and betrayal that you describe. Our hearts go out to you.

      You are right, sometimes there is only so much we can do. We only have power to change ourselves. For many, the effort is met with positive change in the relationship, for others it is not. But the work we invest will always be met with positive change in ourselves. It must!

      Please remember that whether or not your partner is willing to stop his betraying behaviors and commit to only one relationship, you can still heal. Recovery and healing is always available for those who are willing to avail themselves of it. It can feel so sad when the healing happens without those we once loved – and often still love. How we cope with that disappointment and loss will often times be the difference between our own serenity or further hurting. It may take time to heal. Be open to the caring of those in your support system who truly want to be there for you. They can support you and help ease your emotional burden during this time.

      Please let us know if there is any way we may be of assistance to you by contacting our office at [email protected] or by calling us at 732-797-1444. We are with you on your journey!

      John & Elaine

  • October 8, 2012 at 6:47 am

    Sometimes I wonder whether humans beings from two different upbringings are supposed to ever live together. All most all couples have problems, which makes me believe that possibly we should be like animals. We should never marry and live together, because we are always destined to fail.

    • January 3, 2013 at 6:47 pm


      Fortunately we have found great freedom and happiness both in our own relationship as well as helping others to make the effective changes necessary for true and meaningful love. Yes you are correct, growing up in different families and societies is like going to different universities. This can often lead to conflict in a relationship. Partners in a relationship can learn, however, about how their differences play a role in their lives and in their development of who we are as unique individuals. When genuine effort and interest about opening our true selves up to each other is practiced, true union occurs. That is what happened for us and we have not found a more satisfactory feeling in the world!

      Yours truly,

      John and Elaine


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