Are You An Expert In Your Relationship?

What image of ourselves do we let other people see? If we are honest, most of us would admit that throughout the day we wear many different faces or masks that we show to the world outside of ourselves.

Most of the time our faces and masks are innocent enough. Making pretend does not usually cause us or others any harm.   

Wait a minute. We need to correct that. If, let’s say, we...


Does Your Romance Pass the Test? – Part 1

A quick internet search of the term “romance magazines” will net you over 27 million hits. No surprise there. Romantic love, or the interest in it, has been big business for many years. When we refined the search to identify matches for “relationship tests” to see what the market for partners who are unsure of or insecure about their romantic love - we were surprised. Apparently, many people are insecure because the number of hits from...


Finding True Love

“True Love” – we see this expression used practically everywhere we look. So many of us have begged to experience just that in moments of our own romantic frustrations.

But what are we willing to give up to get true love? To this question we can already hear some of you retorting: “But true love should be unconditional! Why should I have to sacrifice for it?!”

That is a very good question. Our answer to that is...


Date Night Every Night

Romantic partners who have spent any time searching on Google or through the shelves of Barnes and Noble looking for the solution to their troubled relationship have undoubtedly come across oodles of blogs and self help books extolling the benefits of a weekly or monthly "date night." We often hear from an unhappy spouse that it's because they do not have date night that their relationship has fallen into disarray.

Once a week or once a...


Today’s a Gift…That’s Why It’s Called the Present

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it’s called the present. (Alice Morse Earler, 1902)

When we spend time living in the past, life in the moment is likely to have less meaning and joy. The same is true for partners in a romantic relationship. Living in the past will greatly diminish our romantic opportunities for meaning and joy in the present moment. This seems to be true for...


If you had my family, you’d hate the holidays too!

Many of us look forward to the holidays with growing excitement. We have only fond memories and warm thoughts of family, holiday meals, and merriment. But some of us would vote the holidays off the calendar forever if we could. The holidays don’t give us the warm fuzzies at all. For this second group, the holidays conjure up dark images of depression, chaos, and family arguments.

Traumatic memories are a powerful thing. If you have...

Addiction Recovery

You Are Responsible for the Quality of Your Own Life

As a culture we seem to be gaining more and more awareness of the benefits of "self care" as a crucial ingredient for peace of mind and wholesome living. In successful romantic relationships this is especially important. In successful romantic relationships self care is more than an ideal, it is a must.

Each partner in a romance need to be taking individual care of their respective physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. The term “self-care” is widely used to refer...


When IN Love, Emotional Safety is as an Important as Physical Safety

For a successful and loving relationship to endure the ups and downs life brings, there needs to be a foundation of safety as its cornerstone. We have found that without romantic safety, couples are unlikely to enjoy the depth of closeness and intimacy most partners crave. It is very difficult, or perhaps even impossible, for an individual who feels physically or emotionally threatened by his or her partner to risk trust and vulnerability.

Let's start with...


Does Your Partner Want the Same Relationship that You Do?

The first question that partners in a relationship need to answer is whether or not they share a similar vision  for their relationship. This is true whether the partners are making their very first commitment to each other or whether they are looking for healing and reconciliation in an injured and hurt relationship.

Are you both “IN” – or perhaps one of you is “IN” while the other is really “OUT”?

We never assume that couples


The 4 Essential Building Blocks to Being IN Love

Partners in a troubled romantic relationship will often report that while they love their partner… they are no longer “IN" love with him or her. We believe the only difference between the two statements is the word “IN.”

We have learned over the past 38 years that to be “IN” Love requires that we make a decision to become emotionally vulnerable with our partner. Below, we present in bullet form what we have found to be essential in the foundation of such...