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Poems by An Alternate Self – part 2

child photoI have a dissociative disorder that includes multiple personalities. Here are poems from my 8-year-old personality, C.  (I use their initials when writing about them online).

I hope they can help reveal the experience of dissociation. I have been having her write poetry as part of the processing of merging out personalities. Through these poems she is exploring her emotions so then we can talk about her feelings.

 

You can try

To destroy me with words

I’m still here

_________________________

If I’m smart

Why can’t I figure out

How to be wanted?

_________________________

“Safe Face”

 

I wear my safe face

If I keep my face blank

Then they won’t notice

Their words hurt me

 

If I keep my face blank

Then Mom won’t see the bad things

Inside me

 

If I keep my face blank

I can float along,

Not make any more waves

While on the inside

I cry

_____________________________

“My mouth”

 

My fingers are too short

To play the piano well enough

But they will grow

 

My mouth is not brave enough

To call out for help

Maybe it will learn to shout

Maybe it will learn that silence

Is safety and pain at the same time

_________________________________

“Outside”

 

Red car idles outside

I finish my homework and look up

Mother’s face is turned away

Poems by An Alternate Self – part 2

Anna Lente

I am currently getting my master's in clinical mental health counseling. I have bipolar disorder, a dissociative disorder, panic disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder. I am a writer, poet, and artist. I like to write online about my experience of mental illness in order to raise awareness and break stigma.


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APA Reference
Lente, A. (2018). Poems by An Alternate Self – part 2. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 18, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/counseling-confidential/2018/02/poems-by-an-alternate-self-part-2/

 

Last updated: 26 Feb 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 26 Feb 2018
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.