How To Turn Holiday Drama Into Holiday Compassion: Part 2

In my previous post I shared two strategies for bringing compassion back into the holidays and avoid the negative drama that can ruin the season. Here are three more tips.
1. Be open and own your feelings
It’s OK to share your feelings as long as you don’t blame someone else for them. Saying, “I am excited for what’s coming,” or “I am uncertain of what will happen next,” is very different than saying, “You make me so mad” or "You hurt my feelings." When it comes to hot topics, it’s OK to say, “I am uncomfortable talking about this.”


How To Turn Holiday Drama Into Holiday Compassion: Part 1

Holidays are supposed to be a festive time of gathering, celebrating, and enjoying our loved ones. And there can be a ton of drama. Relatives crammed into a small space, expectations running high, and you never know when someone is going to get offended or bring up that topic that always leads to arguments.

Here in the U.S. we've just completed mid-term elections, so there's plenty of politics to discuss. Whether your family is one who can talk openly about hot topics like politics, or chooses to “agree to disagree” to keep the peace, it’s often tough to keep drama from sucking the festivity right out of the room. Here are the first two tips for keeping yourself sane this holiday season. Tune in next week for three more tips to bring compassion to your holiday season.


The Antidote To Drama

Are you tired of drama? Would you like to have closer, more accountable and supportive relationships? Unfortunately drama won't just go away on its own. That's because conflict won't go away. We are going to have conflict, but we can make different choices in...


Who’s Fault Is It?

The dishwasher didn't get run so it's full of dirty dishes. The trash didn't get taken out and now we have to smell stinky garbage for a week. The laundry was left in the washer all night and now it smells dank and musty.

Does this happen around your house? What happens next? Around our house, we all start pointing fingers by asking, "Who forgot to run the dishwasher?" "Who didn't take out the trash?" "Why didn't the laundry get dried?"


Conflict Myth #4: Compassion Means Less Conflict

Compassion means you care enough to engage in creative conflict with someone.

Many people misunderstand compassion to be entirely about empathy, sympathy, caring, support, and doing good for others. Quite the contrary. The Latin root of the word means “to struggle (or suffer) with.” Sounds a lot like Michael Meade’s story of co-petition from my earlier post. Compassion definitely includes a heart-felt care for another, however, this caring is translated into co-struggling.


Conflict Myth #3: Conflict Should Be Controlled or Avoided

The misuse of conflict could be the greatest energy crisis in our lives.

Just the other day I took a call from the office manager of a company looking for help with workplace drama and conflict. She shared her observation that there was too much gossip, wasted time, avoidance, and tension in the office. I asked her what the company had tried so far to address the problem. She said they “told everyone to stop.” Unfortunately, she reported, after a brief lull, it all started back up, only this time it was secretive and even worse.