In my previous post I introduced the Formula for Compassionate Conflict: ORPO, and showed two examples of how to use it in real-life situations. Here are some more!
Party! Party! Party!
You and your college roommates are getting ready to head to the bar. They are already drinking and you are thinking ahead about getting home safely. This is conflict because there’s a gap between what you want (a plan for getting home safely), and what you are experiencing (everyone is already drinking and don’t seem to care). Try ORPO:
O: I’m anxious about getting home safely tonight.
R: Can we please make a plan now for how we are going to get home safely later?
P: It’s important to me that we don’t wait until it’s time to come home to make a plan.
O: I care about you all.
My best friend’s favorite pet died
He’s devastated and I want to help. I’ve never had a pet before so I can’t empathize. How do I support him? This is conflict because there’s a gap between what I want (to be supportive), and what I’m experiencing (never been through this). ORPO to the rescue!
O: I’m so sorry about your loss. I can’t even imagine how hard this is for you.
R: I’ve never been through this, so I don’t know how best to help. Will you let me know if you need anything?
P: I promise to be here for you.
O: How are you doing?
You might be wondering what happens if the other person doesn’t respond well to ORPO. That’s OK. Most people aren’t used to healthy conflict, or for compassionate accountability where we both are accountable for our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Tune in next time for some tips for what to do next.
Things to Ponder
- What reactions do you have to these examples of using ORPO to do conflict?
- Where in your life could you benefit from healthier conflict?