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More Examples of Compassionate Conflict

In my previous post I introduced the Formula for Compassionate Conflict: ORPO, and showed two examples of how to use it in real-life situations. Here are some more!

Party! Party! Party!

You and your college roommates are getting ready to head to the bar. They are already drinking and you are thinking ahead about getting home safely. This is conflict because there’s a gap between what you want (a plan for getting home safely), and what you are experiencing (everyone is already drinking and don’t seem to care). Try ORPO:

O: I’m anxious about getting home safely tonight.

R: Can we please make a plan now for how we are going to get home safely later?

P: It’s important to me that we don’t wait until it’s time to come home to make a plan.

O: I care about you all.

My best friend’s favorite pet died

He’s devastated and I want to help. I’ve never had a pet before so I can’t empathize. How do I support him? This is conflict because there’s a gap between what I want (to be supportive), and what I’m experiencing (never been through this). ORPO to the rescue!

O: I’m so sorry about your loss. I can’t even imagine how hard this is for you.

R: I’ve never been through this, so I don’t know how best to help. Will you let me know if you need anything?

P: I promise to be here for you. 

O: How are you doing?

You might be wondering what happens if the other person doesn’t respond well to ORPO. That’s OK. Most people aren’t used to healthy conflict, or for compassionate accountability where we both are accountable for our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Tune in next time for some tips for what to do next.

Things to Ponder

  • What reactions do you have to these examples of using ORPO to do conflict?
  • Where in your life could you benefit from healthier conflict?
More Examples of Compassionate Conflict

Nathan Regier

Nate Regier, PhD is CEO and Co-founding owner of Next Element, a global leadership communication firm specializing in building cultures of compassionate accountability. A former practicing clinical psychologist, Dr. Regier splits his time between writing, speaking, training, consulting, and developing Next Element's global network of certified trainers. He is co-developer of the Leading Out of Drama® training and coaching system for positive conflict, and has authored two books on drama and conflict; Beyond Drama: Transcending Energy Vampires, and Conflict Without Casualties: A Field Guide For Leading With Compassionate Accountability. Nate is a certifying master trainer in the Process Communication Model®. He lives in Newton, KS, is married and has three daughters. Learn more about Conflict Without Casualties here.


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APA Reference
Regier, N. (2019). More Examples of Compassionate Conflict. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 21, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/conflict/2019/02/more-examples-of-compassionate-conflict/

 

Last updated: 24 Jan 2019
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 24 Jan 2019
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.