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How To Turn Holiday Drama Into Holiday Compassion: Part 2

In my previous post I shared two strategies for bringing compassion back into the holidays and avoid the negative drama that can ruin the season. Here are three more tips.

1. Be open and own your feelings

It’s OK to share your feelings as long as you don’t blame someone else for them. Saying, “I am excited for what’s coming,” or “I am uncertain of what will happen next,” is very different than saying, “You make me so mad” or “You hurt my feelings.” When it comes to hot topics, it’s OK to say, “I am uncomfortable talking about this.”

2. Set kind boundaries

Avoiding conflict if it has negative consequences for you is still drama. It’s more healthy to set a boundary. Saying, “I prefer not to talk about this. Will you please respect my boundary?” is assertive, while hiding out in your bedroom to avoid your radical uncle is drama. Although, you still gotta love this classic SNL skit about using a trip to Target as an excuse to escape drama.

3. Express gratitude

If we indulge our pessimistic side, it’s easy to focus on all the things going wrong and how things are unfair. Optimism and gratitude are disciplines that can be cultivated and practiced. When you are together this holiday, and every day, identify and share what you are grateful for. No matter how small, it is good for the soul to be thankful. Here’s an article by Michael Hyatt describing what other well-known names such as Tony Robbins and John Maxwell do to practice gratitude.

Compassion is much more than just empathy. It includes taking care of yourself and bringing hope back into relationships. I wish you a holiday season with more compassion and less drama.

Things to ponder

  • How would things change if you took full responsibility for your feelings?
  • Do you agree or disagree that optimism is a discipline? Why?

 

How To Turn Holiday Drama Into Holiday Compassion: Part 2

Nathan Regier

Nate Regier, PhD is CEO and Co-founding owner of Next Element, a global leadership communication firm specializing in building cultures of compassionate accountability. A former practicing clinical psychologist, Dr. Regier splits his time between writing, speaking, training, consulting, and developing Next Element's global network of certified trainers. He is co-developer of the Leading Out of Drama® training and coaching system for positive conflict, and has authored two books on drama and conflict; Beyond Drama: Transcending Energy Vampires, and Conflict Without Casualties: A Field Guide For Leading With Compassionate Accountability. Nate is a certifying master trainer in the Process Communication Model®. He lives in Newton, KS, is married and has three daughters. Learn more about Conflict Without Casualties here.


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APA Reference
Regier, N. (2018). How To Turn Holiday Drama Into Holiday Compassion: Part 2. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 23, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/conflict/2018/12/how-to-turn-holiday-drama-into-holiday-compassion-part-2/

 

Last updated: 15 Nov 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 15 Nov 2018
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.