Are you tired of drama? Would you like to have closer, more accountable and supportive relationships? Unfortunately drama won’t just go away on its own. That’s because conflict won’t go away. We are going to have conflict, but we can make different choices in how we deal with it so that drama doesn’t suck the life out of us.
The antidote to drama is Compassion. No, not the touchy-feely, let’s hold hands in a circle and sing campfire songs type of compassion. This type of compassion is the real deal, inspired by the original latin root.
Compassion originates from the Latin root meaning “co-suffering.”
Com means “together, alongside, or with another”. Passion means “to struggle or suffer.” Compassion is about being in the trenches with someone, experiencing their struggle and joining them in that experience. Here’s a video where I share my perspective on compassion.
Compassion doesn’t mean letting someone off the hook, feeling sorry for them or “loving them into good behavior.” Compassion balances caring, concern, empathy and transparency with boundaries, goals, aspirations, and standards. It’s the engine that turns conflict into into positive results.
Stanford researchers found that a compassionate leader has significant positive impact on morale, engagement, and performance. Harvard Business Review summarizes their research,
Compassion and curiosity increase employee loyalty and trust. Research has shown that feelings of warmth and positive relationships at work have a greater say over employee loyalty than the size of their paycheck.
Jeff Weiner, former CEO of LinkedIn, believes that compassion is the most important thing we need to develop. Here’s his interview with Oprah.
Compassion takes three skills; Openness, Resourcefulness, and Persistence. I’ll show you how to develop each of these skills in upcoming posts.
Things to ponder
- What happens when you spend your energy in drama struggling against others or yourself to feel justified?
- If you chose to struggle with people instead of against them, what would you have to give up?
- How would you know if someone was being Open, Resourceful, or Persistent? Compare your definitions with several other people in your life.