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Compassion

Doing Healthy Conflict: Tips For Success

If you've been following my blog you've read about how the Compassion Cycle and Formula for Compassionate Conflict gives us a way to engage conflict without casualties. You've read several real-life examples of ORPO in action. I'd love to hear your experience using ORPO....


Compassion

More Examples of Compassionate Conflict

In my previous post I introduced the Formula for Compassionate Conflict: ORPO, and showed two examples of how to use it in real-life situations. Here are some more!


Party! Party! Party!


You and your college roommates are getting ready to head to the bar. They are already drinking and you are thinking ahead about getting home safely. This is conflict because there's a gap between what you want (a plan for getting home safely), and what you are experiencing...


Compassion

ORPO: The Formula for Compassionate Conflict

Yes, conflict can be done without casualties! The key is to follow the Compassion Cycle, described in my most recent post. The secret is to apply the formula ORPO: Open, Resourceful, Persistent, Open. Where could you use ORPO?

Your parents might judge me for my tattoos


Let's say your boyfriend wants to introduce you to his parents and they've invited you over for dinner. You have several visible tattoos and are nervous about how they will react. This is conflict...


General

Persistence: Compassionate Accountability

My blog is all about how to engage conflict without casualties. I've written quite a bit about reframing our relationship with conflict and drama. In this post I suggested that compassion is the antidote to drama. Struggling with people instead of against them is a terrific way to harness the positive power of conflict. So how do you do it?

Three skills help us practice compassion: Openness, Resourcefulness, and Persistence. This post is about Persistence.
Persistence is about clarifying,...


Compassion

Resourcefulness: Compassionate Problem-Solving

My blog is all about how to engage conflict without casualties. I've written quite a bit about reframing our relationship with conflict and drama. In this post I suggested that compassion is the antidote to drama. Struggling with people instead of against them is a terrific way to harness the positive power of conflict. So how do you do it?

Three skills help us practice compassion: Openness, Resourcefulness, and Persistence. This post is about Resourcefulness.

Resourcefulness is about bringing together resources...


Compassion

Openness: Compassion Starts Here

My blog is all about how to engage conflict without casualties. I've written quite a bit about reframing our relationship with conflict and drama. In this post I suggested that compassion is the antidote to drama. Struggling with people instead of against them is a terrific way to harness the positive power of conflict. So how do you do it?

Three skills help us practice compassion. The first is Openness.
Openness is about emotional transparency. Whenever there’s a gap...


Compassion

Co-Petition For Something New in 2019

In ancient times, competition in sports was a lot different than it is now. Even hundreds of years ago, the typical court was a rectangle with a line bisecting it, and a circle in the middle, just like in today's hockey or basketball. Only the game had a different flavor. The circle in the middle of the court represented where the Gods would come down and give blessings to the tribe. Two teams entertained the crowds, represented the tribe, and co-petitioned the Gods for blessings.


General

Be The Gift You Want To See In The World

The stretch from Halloween through Thanksgiving, leading into Black Friday, and culminating with Christmas and New Years is the most commercialized and materialistic time period in our American culture. Every year I resist the urge to take advantage of those super “too good to be true” deals on Black Friday, but I usually give in. I also spent a lot of time with family this past week reflecting on what we are grateful for, and nurturing relationships that sustain us far beyond the material things. What I realized is that giving that perfect gift is great, but being a gift to my family, friends, and co-workers is so much more important. Do you want to be a gift to those around you this holiday season?


Compassion

How To Turn Holiday Drama Into Holiday Compassion: Part 2

In my previous post I shared two strategies for bringing compassion back into the holidays and avoid the negative drama that can ruin the season. Here are three more tips. 1. Be open and own your feelings It’s OK to share your feelings as long as you don’t blame someone else for them. Saying, “I am excited for what’s coming,” or “I am uncertain of what will happen next,” is very different than saying, “You make me so mad” or "You hurt my feelings." When it comes to hot topics, it’s OK to say, “I am uncomfortable talking about this.”