7 thoughts on “Understanding My Eating Disorder + Some Surprises: Day 31…

  • December 28, 2011 at 6:45 am

    Sorry about your hand! Totally sucks.
    As for the eating. You’ll get there, one bite at a time (pun indeed intended).
    On another note, however, are there checks in place that keeps you from going manic/hypomanic/depressive?

    • December 28, 2011 at 11:51 am

      Dear Jessica,

      Thank you for your kindness and concern.

      Short answer to your question: No!

      Read my next surprising post. Soon. It will provide you with the story, and more…

      Hugs and Healthy New Year!

  • December 28, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    Having broken my right foot last year, I totally understand the dependency that results in not being fully ‘functional’. Marty is not a saint – he is a caring, loving, wonderful husband who is doing exactly what he signed up for. You deserve nothing less, and he knows that πŸ™‚

    I had another friend who did that inpatient program last year and lasted 3 days……I don’t think it’s as great as they make themselves out to be, frankly. I am glad to hear you happier with you πŸ™‚

    • December 28, 2011 at 2:12 pm

      Dearest Julie,
      I am enjoying eating good food for the first time in my life. Without guilt. I have not binged once. Not ONCE!
      On the contrary, I think this is an excellent program, though I know lots of people cannot take it and don’t last. It is not easy. Far from it, but I love the two people with whom I am working with Marty. The reason I am “happier with me” is directly related to what I am learning and doing in this program. No program is perfect for everyone and no harm was meant. Group Work doesn’t work well for me and I didn’t feel I fit. After all. I was soooooo much older than 99% of the other patients and my basic nature was at odds with theirs.

      Hugs, and speak soon, sweetie. An arm is nothing compared to a leg. It is just so hard to write with my left arm and hand.

  • December 28, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    Sandy, first off, thanks for cataloging your feelings and experiences here! I’m glad you came back for round 2 on your blog – I’ve been following your comments so this is a nice update.

    I’m here as I’m facing a choice between in-and-outpatient programs for my bulimia. I don’t know who to ask, but I’ve been in communication with this eating disorders treatment provider – and if my insurance can cover it, I think I’m going to go for it.

    If Sandy/anyone’s had experience with Rader Programs (www.raderprograms.com), please let me know – so far their staff has been really good to me so far.

    Thanks ahead of time.

    • December 30, 2011 at 7:04 pm

      Dear Yolanda,

      I haven’t responded to your comment because I’ve been at the hospital for the last two days and I am exhausted.

      Also, I did some research. Here, in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, Eating Disorders Treatment Programs are offered at, at least, five major teaching hospitals because eating disorders are mental illnesses and taken very seriously by teams of specialists including psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, dieticians, nurses, occupational therapists and other medical doctors, all specifically trained to work with patients who are diagnosed with these potentially fatal, the most fatal of all mental illnesses. Or alert to the signs and symptoms of these disorders. My family physician was the first to sound the call in my case, as well as my kidney specialist.

      The programs are both inpatient, day programs and follow-up care. Many individual psychologists and social workers also treat people, usually after an intensive program like the one I am in. There is no quick fix.

      One of these hospitals, Sick Kids, treats only children and adolescents (probably up to about 17 or 18) with eating disorders.

      I cannot advise you on what the situation in the U.S. is, nor can I tell from investigating the website of the centre you are considering what the quality of the treatment is. I simply do not know. Your healthcare system is completely different to the Canadian healthcare system, as you no doubt know.

      I will tell you this. Here, my day program is covered completely by our Ontario Health Insurance Plan, but any follow up care, and we will be seeking additional support, is covered by our private insurance, though not 100%.

      The point is this. I urge you, if you don’t already, to read my Psych Central colleague, Margarita Tartakovsky’s blog, right here at Psych Central, called Weightless. She knows far more than I about U.S. treatment protocols. MargaritaTartakovsky, M.S. is an associate editor at Psych Central. She also has her own blog and she is my inspiration and in many ways, my muse.

      I wish you all the best. This work will transform you, but the work, the journey is arduous and different for everyone.

      Please stay in touch. Let me know how you are faring. Thank you for courageously sending out this message. I hope you can find the answers you seek. Treat yourself with kindness and empathy. I trust you have lots of support. You have mine.

      Hugs and may 2012 be the year of your freedom from this wretched disease.


  • January 2, 2012 at 10:42 pm

    I’m so glad to hear you are enjoying food without guilt. Food is wonderful and meant to be enjoyed. You are definitely working on your recovery – you must be so proud of your hard work.

    A break is a break, whether it’s an arm or a leg, it’s a total pain in the ass. I hope you are healing!!!

    Happy New Year! Hard to believe how much things have changed – on Dec 30, I celebrated 2 years of being out of the hospital. I was scared and wondered if I would ever be ‘me’ again. It’s taken a LOT of hard work, but I’ve got a new job, a wonderful new girlfriend, and very soon, a new beautiful apartment. Amazing!!


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