22 thoughts on “I Don’t Want to “Fat Talk”…

  • October 26, 2010 at 8:38 am

    I agree, lets not.

  • October 26, 2010 at 11:36 am

    I so agree. Hope all goes well with your de-cluttering.

  • October 26, 2010 at 2:10 pm

    There’s so much more to talk about anyway.

  • October 26, 2010 at 5:06 pm


    No argument here.


  • October 26, 2010 at 5:09 pm


    I am sitting here at my computer with an angel behind me named Michael.

    He is assembling an IKEA filing cabinet on casters that takes a certain genius which he has. That’s just one of his geniuses. He is an extraordinary friend with sensitivity, ideas, opinions, intelligence, wisdom and a wit that’s utterly charming.

    And he knows how to organize, innately.

    When my office is done, I’ll post a picture. So, as for your question… things are going, finally.

    Many thanks for asking. How are things going with you on this election day?

    Well, I hope.


  • October 26, 2010 at 5:22 pm


    I ask you, my dear friend… when is there ever NOT “so much more to talk about?” đŸ™‚

    And we will talk and continue to talk. And talk. And talk.

    That’s what we’re all about here.

    Talking. Sharing. Opening up our minds and our mouths. Our hearts and our heads. Our souls.


    Talking. Unbosoming. How I love that word.


  • October 26, 2010 at 5:59 pm

    Hi, KC…

    Find another pair of hands and eyes.

    I cannot organize by myself because I am innately disorganized. You should see my desk. My friend Michael gave me a shredder as a gift. So now, I’m getting rid of all the paper.

    Where to put the rest of it? The stuff I need to keep and find, let alone all the books and boxes.

    Find a friend who knows what to do. If you possibly can.

    I wish I could offer more tips.

    Except, give yourself time and be patient.

    Do a little every day if at all possible. It’s when it piles up that you lose control and become overwhelmed. As I am.

    One last thing… there’s always hope and if you haven’t looked at it in six months and it’s not tax related, trash it.

    That rule works for me.

    Good luck,

  • October 26, 2010 at 10:58 pm

    agreed. women are so much more than our weight. i’m trying to work on this myself.

    glad to hear from you, although things still sound stressful. one day at a time. one box at a time. can you believe i’m having to move again? less than 3 months after i moved in here. it’s not working out, and the constant stress is causing me to slide backwards at an alarming rate. so i’m moving back home. will surface soon to tell you more about it.

  • November 1, 2010 at 7:01 am

    Well said. I really do understand where you’re at regarding Fat Talk, and not wanting to engage in it. For the longest time, I tried to get away from that myself. But it seems my situation with you is somewhat reversed.

    Somehow I managed to grow up with a very positive body image. It also helped that I was never overweight. Then, when I hit 40, I gained. Recently (I am now 54 yrs old), when I hit the scales, I was 56 pounds over. I only noticed this because I had started Weight Watchers.

    I started Weight Watchers not because of my own concerns, but because I had become diabetic due to the weight gain, and a family member was worried about my consequent health. I could have gone on for a long time without bothering to lose weight. I was quite happy being overweight. I had accepted myself in that condition. I started Weight Watchers only because of my desire to appease that family member.

    But now that I’m .4 pounds away from losing my first 25, I’m being much more careful about my weight. It’s becoming a do-able goal that I can see actually happening. And, like any goal, I’m becoming quite focused on achieving it. Hence, my Fat Talk in your last posting.

    I’m sorry that I offended you. And thanks for your link to the Fat Talk page. It was interesting.

  • November 1, 2010 at 8:12 am

    Just a note to add that it wasn’t that I noticed that I was overweight in itself, when I joined Weight Watchers, but that I had gained a grand total of 56 pounds.

    And also that I had lost some weight before for a wedding about 6 years ago, so it’s not like I was totally oblivious about my own desire to lose weight.

    That’s it for now.

  • November 1, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    Hi, there…

    My organizing is going splendidly, but tomorrow, I begin teaching again.

    As for this thread, as I said ~ “No more, please.”

    Hugs, all and I’m here, but working like a Trojan on marking.

    Speak soon.

  • November 4, 2010 at 11:41 pm

    Hi, Sandy,

    Just thought I would pop in and say hello and let you know how my therapy is going. As you know it is short term – 8 sessions and today was #7. Aaaahh!!! I jokingly told him that I think we’ve really only had 4 sessions. I’m trying to hold onto a good thing as long as I can so I have been spacing them out every 2 weeks with my last one going all the way to Dec 2nd. I told him I was going to try to be strong. The up side, after taking a break for a month I will be able to go back if I’m not showing any improvement. But I am, and I’m not. I am improving in the sense that he has helped me, by allowing me, to go through my intense mother issues and the disaterous ending with my pscyhologist so many years ago. Eric has helped me with that as well and I am full of gratitude for having such a good therapist to help me because I’ve really needed the help. I’m still anxious about the winter months financially and that is the part where I’m not doing so well. My fear and anxiety are getting the better of me and if I don’t get a handle on it soon it will do me in. But I have a good doctor so I am hopeful that he will get me back in to therapy so I will have support through out the winter.
    I feel good tonight – therapy can be very good.
    Hope all is well, or improving in your world.

    • November 5, 2010 at 1:20 pm

      Dear Sheila,

      I am so happy to hear from you. I’ve been thinking about you. How I wish you could extend your short term therapy with Eric to carry you over the winter months. I know you are vulnerable when the sunlight is sparse and the work is, too. Trust me, I understand and empathize. However, I urge you to find, if you can, some peer support group near your home. Peer support is so powerful.

      Please read this from “Network” magazine, published by the Ontario Branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association. The title of the article is “Why Peer Support Is Like a Box of Chocolates” and it’s very inspiring and true.

      Meanwhile, I just sat down to write a post and you’ve inspired me to write about peer support. Keep feeling good and apologies for taking so long to respond. I have been unwell, again, teaching, stressed with the fact that I’m way behind in my marking (grading) and I have a very challenging student. I met with her counsellor yesterday. She’s brilliant but unmotivated and won’t get the help she needs. She went off her antidepressants cold turkey and now she’s falling asleep in class, on top of which she has some serious learning disabilities and she won’t take advantage of any of the amazing services available to her at Seneca. I am so frustrated. i feel I’m failing her.

      She’s convinced she can overcome her depression with “willpower.”

      So many young people feel this way. I seem to running into them lately. Luckily, you are open and accepting and willing to work on your issues which invariably will pay off. Trust me. Now we have to think of a strategy for helping you get through the next few months. Focus on the good days and nights. Keep writing and journalling. I haven’t forgotten your writings. I will read them. I wish there were more hours in the day. Actually, we do gain an hour this week, so guess what. I’m going to print them up and read them before I go to bed.

      I’ll give you feedback. Promise.

      Hugs, for now. I’m thrilled you have a good doctor and you can work with him until the spring.

      And yes, therapy is very good. I saw Dr. Bob this week and I’m seeing him in on Nov. 17. There are times when he saves my life, Sheila.

      All is okay. My office is coming along. It’s a work in progress.


    • November 5, 2010 at 1:34 pm

      Sorry, Sheila…

      I replied before publishing your comment. So things may seem a little topsy turvy.

      Let us keep in touch.


  • November 5, 2010 at 9:10 pm

    sandy, please look after yourself. you are too precious not to.

    and you can’t save your student. as much as you want to. you are a wonderful person, and you are doing the best you can for her and with her, but you can’t save her. please don’t kill yourself trying.

    • November 6, 2010 at 6:47 pm


      I’m trying… really. But there is so much to do and on top of everything else, my hearing aids are beginning to malfunction. So my hearing is really suffering and driving me crazier than I already am. New ones are supposed to be in the early new year, but I’ve been hearing this same story since last June.

      You are so darling. How are you doing? Have you moved back home yet? How is it?

      And how’s York?

      I starting posting yesterday, but haven’t yet finished. I’m going to try to finish tonight.

      Or tomorrow. Writing is so therapeutic, but we had to clear out the garage so we can get the car in the winter. It’s so old and I don’t think it could stand a winter outside.

      I really love you, you know. And I haven’t forgotten “Next to Normal” … it’s on my list. Wow, though. What a list.

      Hugs and here’s to peace of mind…

      For all of us. This is a very stressful time of year.


  • November 13, 2010 at 7:26 pm

    Hey, Sandy,

    How goes the battle?

    I spent the day at a Stillpoint practice. 6 hours of mindfulness. Sometimes I am okay and it doesn’t feel long enough and other times it seems too long – it all depends on where I am at emotionally, how well I’m able to focus on just “being” and my willingness to participate in the physical practices.

    My legs are aching from working last week – just hubby and myself now – and we aren’t as young as the 20 something’s that we hire. Last week we planted 7 oak trees – 20 footer’s – it was a big job for us not-so-young-anymore folk. We wheeled 3 yards of wet, clumpy, muddy triple mix into the back yard – partly to plant the trees with and also to build a garden to plant a Japanese Maple. The tree planting wouldn’t have been such a big deal had we not hit the bricks and patio slabs that the builder so kindly buried (not his problem). We were both wiped out for 2 days after that. So, anyway, my legs are still sore from running up the ramp of the trailer pushing a loaded wheelbarrow full of the sod we removed for the garden and trees.

    Therefore the most comfortable position for me today was lying down – as it was painful to move my hips after sitting. The only problem with lyingd down is the tendency to fall asleep. But that was okay too – as I needed it.

    Hope things are improving – remember not to take on your student’s issues – you can’t help someone who doesn’t recognise the need for help – you can only guide them and hope that some part of their brain latches onto the words that you are speaking.

  • November 17, 2010 at 8:49 am

    Hello, Everyone,

    I received a call this morning from Sandy – oh the trials she’s having. You know how life goes, it doesn’t rain but it pours. Well, as things would have it Sandy’s email is down. This is very upsetting – and I have been there, I find it difficult to breathe without my email. How did we become so attached to these machines that hold our life’s information? Anyway, Sandy has someone working on her computer so she can’t access it. But she desperately wanted everyone to know that she is still here and as always she is thinking about us and as soon as she it able she will be back to post on Coming Out Crazy.
    As per Sandy – hugs.

  • November 18, 2010 at 7:43 pm

    Hey Sandy, just want to say I’m missing your posts but understand things are fraught just now.

  • November 21, 2010 at 11:17 pm

    Thank you, Jemo. That is good to know right now.


  • December 12, 2010 at 9:16 pm

    This is one of my constant battles, thinking that if only I could control my weight I would be better, I would be happier. Of course this is not true, and I need to stop worrying about that, and start making my self stronger, so that I can make healthier choices.

    • December 13, 2010 at 8:07 pm

      I have had a problem ~ a major weight problem for most of my life, Chiq.

      So, trust me, I can feel for you. I wish I could be happy and fat. But I don’t like myself that way, so I, too, battle and worry and obsess. I’ve learned to live with this obsession. However, I have learned to make healthier choices. To prefer salads to many other things. I still love them, but I curb my cravings if I can.

      You are strong. And honest and insightful. It’s just that the forces we’re fighting are Goliath-sized compared to us. Happiness, the kind of happiness you’re looking for is already inside you. Like many of us, you are probably an encyclopedia of information on nutrition and healthy eating. Habits die hard, Chiq. ~ what a great moniker.

      And daily exercise helps.

      Healthy bodies and healthy minds go hand in hand. You don’t have to be thin to be healthy, either.

      Keep on travelling. Keep your journey going. Look outward and realize what beauty surrounds you. And how beautiful you are.

      I sense it.



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