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Shining Sun ~ Feeling Better…

I don’t know why I’m feeling better ~ just am.

Go figure…

Two weeks ago, I was mired in myself. My weight. My health. My life. My problems.

How boring! I was boring myself. And THAT’S boring.

For the last few months, life was challenging me. A real struggle.

Risky business…

I had a rough term at school. Then there was end of term chaos. Two weeks ago I was sifting though umpteen boxes of papers, receipts and records for my 2010 income taxes ~ late. When we moved last summer, I never filed anything. I’m a piler, not a filer. What a mess I was.

Also, I’m launching a brand new venture. Stress-city! Living on a diet of deadlines. Feeling inadequate. Scared out of my mind. Fast-tracking an MBA unofficially. Reinventing myself, once again, as a small-business. Me???? Huge adjustment. Cavernous learning curve.

I’ll tell you all about it when the time is right.

There’s more…

Next month, my niece is getting married and I cannot attend her wedding in Cyprus.

If I toy with my circadian rhythms by winging around, crossing time-zones, I risk full-blown mania. Besides being financially impossible for us, a weekend in Cyprus is out of the question for me because it threatens my health. I’m not happy about this. There are lots of family stresses and strains weighing in on all fronts.

Marty’s Big Surprise…

Plus, for weeks, since April 22, I was in the throes of planning my husband Marty’s surprise 75th party with my closest friend Peggy. No easy feat when you live with the birthday boy who’s determined to pull a Benjamin Button and turn 73 on May 22. I had to skulk around on secret missions, like combing through his address book to come up with a guest list.

Every year, Marty’s birthday is usurped by Queen Victoria. Here, in Ontario and most of Canada, Victoria Day is a big deal. Queen Victoria’s Birthday, officially, is May 24th. The closest Monday to that date is a huge holiday. A long weekend that herald’s summer and signals the end of  winter. This year, winter hung on.Winter just wouldn’t let go.

Summer begins on Marty’s birthday…

On Marty’s birthday, everyone “officially” begins planting their gardens. Or the city empties out. Except for the tourists. Cottages are opened and aired out. Firecrackers thunder and light up the sky. It’s the first major three-day weekend of the summer.

So, Marty’s birthday is always overshadowed and somewhat solitary. Just us. The last time we celebrated it was on his 65th birthday, a year after we were married.

This year was going to be different. He had the greatest celebration of his life and was blissfully clueless, utterly shocked and awed.

When 28 people from his past and present, from every walk of his life, from far and wide, even from Manhattan, yelled “Surprise!” as he walked into Peggy’s big beautiful Victorian home, the blood drained from his face. He turned chalky white. Instead of the small family dinner he was expecting, we “roasted” him. Actually, roasted isn’t quite the right word. Actually, he was gently baked and sweetly marinated.

The whole affair turned into one big episode of “Everybody Loves Marty.” He’s unroastable, he’s so loveable. He’s not quite yet come down.

Now, you see that face?

That’s me, happy for him. Joyous.

When my son-in-law Andrew Baxter, a professional TV cameraman posted it on Facebook yesterday, for a split second, I didn’t recognize myself. I actually emailed him asking, “Do I really look like that?”

Andrew snapped that photo at “The Marty Party,” as he calls it. I was over the moon because we had thrown my husband such a grand bash. (I’m no treat to live with and believe me, he deserved it.) Somehow, Andrew captured my joy, my realization that Marty was, indeed, truly surprised. My relief. Best of all, everybody ~ a very eclectic crowd ~ had such a dazzling good time. It was a magical night. Peggy’s generosity. Her graciousness, along with her husband Bob, gave the night an added sparkle.

One more thing…

The sun came out for “The Marty Party” last Sunday, May 22 at about 5:45 p.m. as we were driving to Peggy’s.

This month of May has seen historic rainfall here. Record-breaking rain. More cloudy days, more moisture, more drizzle, more haze, more fog, more thunderstorms, more dreary dank days, more meteorological misery than ever before in Toronto in May. Albeit, we’re lucky. There were no hurricanes, volcanoes, or earthquakes. Just grey skies. Day after terminable day.

I suspect I was depressed. SAD for the first time in my life…

Today, the sun was shining. Tonight, I saw stars for the first time in months while walking my dogs.

Anyway, today, tonight, all week, I’ve been basking in the afterglow of Marty’s happiness. His sunshine. Feeling good.

And feelings are what it’s all about, if you ask me.

Photo Credit: Andrew Baxter, Toronto.

Shining Sun ~ Feeling Better…


Sandy Naiman

Sandy Naiman is a Toronto freelance journalist.


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APA Reference
Naiman, S. (2011). Shining Sun ~ Feeling Better…. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 23, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/coming-out-crazy/2011/05/shining-sun-feeling-better/

 

Last updated: 31 May 2011
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