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Reflections Amidst Shadows…

I’m feeling contemplative today.

So I want to share a few reflections. Perhaps they’ll resonate or provoke or even anger you ~ in our rapidly changing world. Here goes…

Truths versus Facts…

There are truths ~ yes, plural. There are facts. They’re not the same.

For example, here is both a truth, which is also a fact. It can be applied to every human being on the planet ~ differently, of course. We’re all unique.

I was born very late, a few minutes before midnight, Friday, October 22, 1948.

From the scant research I’ve done, it wasn’t a very memorable day ~ nothing much happened, though I could be wrong.

What does that mean? Nothing in particular, except that I’m on the cusp of Libra and Scorpio. Which means nothing to me at all. Maybe that has enormous meaning to you. I don’t know.

Yet it’s a fact. It means I am 62-years-old. No secret. I am what I am ~ wrinkles and all. I don’t buy into the ever-popular cult of youth. I wouldn’t turn back my clock for anything. Life is fine for me right here, right now.

What does all this mean? Nothing much. I don’t do anything to hide the fact of my age. I trumpet it all the time. I’m still here, after all. That’s cause for celebration.

I do not colour my streaking salt and pepper hair or wear much make-up ~ except lipstick. I like my smile. (By the way, as a newspaper reporter, if I ever misreported a person’s age or misspelled their name, that was considered a very serious mistake because it meant, in essence, that I was writing about someone who either didn’t exist or was, quite possibly, someone else.)

So such truths and facts are very important to me. I like accuracy.

Here’s another fact for you. Though it’s highly variable, depending on the scale used. 😉

On the subject of a very popular New Year’s Resolution…

I weighed in at Weight Watchers two weeks ago, Sunday, December 19, 2010 at exactly 130 lbs. ~ dressed. That morning, on my scale at home, without any clothes at all, I weighed 129.4 lbs. My “Lifetime” goal is 130. (All this focus on weight and numbers right down to the decimal point really bothers me about Weight Watchers. It feeds into an obsessiveness I think is unhealthy, however, at the same time, I must confess, it works for me, so I to do it.)

I try to temper it though with the wisdom of the Recovery-oriented 12-step approach of Overeaters’ Anonymous ~ which I’ve also tried.

(You can learn from many sources and experiences without totally embracing just one. Community Mental Health and Recovery has many links to the self-help and peer support model of the classic Alcoholic Anonymous Twelve Step approach, though one cannot live by abstaining from eating food. Anyway, I’ve tried this approach and I prefer WW. However, I’m working hard not to be too obsessive, which comes naturally to me. But that’s another story.)

Struggling to maintain my weight-loss…

I’m trying to stay at this goal for the first time in my life. It’s not easy. But I’m working on it. Everyone I know expects me to gain all my weight back, but I am bound and determined not to… plus, I walk a dog or two. Two to three times a day now that I have no backyard. That’s the key.

You want to stay healthy? Get a dog and be responsible. You can walk your dog to health. Yours and his or hers. No joke. You’ll love it and your dog will love you for it.

Anyway… Exactly one week later, on my scale on Sunday, December 26, 2010, buck-naked, at about 9 a.m. (the time I always weigh in at WW each week) I weighed 129.4 lbs. after a very chocolaty, though careful Christmas dinner (no gravy, no mashed potatoes, no hors d’hoeuvres, no alcohol, no butter, no feelings of deprivation until I tasted one of my darling goddaughter’s chocolate-coffee cookies and lost all control and devoured enough dark chocolate to open my own factory, but with no quilt). I just took a brisk 25 minute-walk at 1:45 a.m. with Riley while Marty went to sleep. Riley needed that walk. That walk is probably why I weighed exactly the same as the week before.

Weight Watchers was closed the day after Christmas and today. Two weeks in a row with no meetings. No weigh-ins. I’ve decided to just go with the flow and see what happens. I’m still obsessing. I really have an unhealthy relationship with food. I need to take every tip of Margarita Tartakovsky’s brilliant Weightless post on body image very seriously. I shouldn’t care. But I do. It’s habitual after all these years.

I’m desperately working to change that.

To be continued…

Reflections Amidst Shadows…


Sandy Naiman

Sandy Naiman is a Toronto freelance journalist.


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APA Reference
Naiman, S. (2011). Reflections Amidst Shadows…. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 15, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/coming-out-crazy/2011/01/reflections-amidst-shadows/

 

Last updated: 2 Jan 2011
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