9 thoughts on “The Best-Kept Secret to Getting Unstuck: Core Feelings

  • December 7, 2015 at 6:20 pm

    This is such a great write up … In my journey of healing, the work I do in therapy is about working with the “inner child” .. unprocessed emotions, and for me these “core feelings” show up out of my sleep crying … I go through time where I wake up 2, 3 or 4 in the morning crying out of my sleep, and I truly believe those are old childhood feelings showing up in vulnerable places like sleep where I can’t stop it from happening.

    its not easy to be with your core feelings, but I am starting to believe it’s truly needed to heal.

    I write about my healing through my blog, and I write about this process a lot.

    Thank you for sharing this ….

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  • December 8, 2015 at 2:56 am

    This is a great article. I am wondering if it is possible or correct to think you may have more than one Core Feeling? Or if the other strong emotions are branches from the one core?

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  • December 8, 2015 at 7:12 pm

    This article hit home. I recognized some VERY STRONG core feelings of my own within the last two years. So strong that I needed EMDR to reprocess some childhood emotional abuse. The EMDR was very effective in resolving issues I’ve wrestled with over fifty years. Now, I am in a bigger funk, as I am ready to move forward, but, being over 60 years old and with little money, feel too old and powerless to have any hope of getting what I want in the end anyway.

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  • December 9, 2015 at 12:07 pm

    This article was very helpful for me as I am processing some of my feelings. My core feelings have been fear, confusion, and self-hate. It has been very difficult to work through these, the hardest being fear, and learning what my fears are including fear of being hurt or abused physically, sexually, or spiritually, even emotionally, and fear of abandonment or being alone. I have a wonderful therapist who is helping me but this fear feeling and working through it for me has not been a cake walk. Between all the lack of sleep, former flashbacks, memories, thoughts, and feelings by the little girl inside, and unfortunately the adult at some points, I have found this part of therapy the most challenging along with learning to let go of therapy and leave. I have been in therapy for over 7 years, and just now am beginning to discuss this, but it brings up tremendous panic and fear. If anyone can relate to this I would love a reply. Thank you for this article and blog.

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  • December 10, 2015 at 5:48 pm

    I am going through CBT therapy right now. I’m about half way through. I hate my core beliefs so much. I go once a week. I’m so all over because they are so negative. I just hope over the next 8 weeks I can get some kind of help. My therapist said I should have done the cpt first, so as soon as I’m done with what we are doing I can do that one. If everyone who helped turn me into this mess would fall off the planet it would be easier. Every time I talk out come the tears. So tired of it all. And yes, like you Kimberly, it took me years to say anything.

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  • December 11, 2015 at 2:59 am

    I think I’ve learned to face and to fight mine as I had the childhood from hell, hers just a small portion of what I went through.

    I witnessed my father beating my mother senseless to the point I can remember one incident he was beating her and she started to fall to the floor but I can’t remember her hitting the floor because I think I just blanked it out ,,, u see what the mind can’t deal with it shuts down.

    Also being beat with a belt, bamboo for crying and I was beat into submission to stop crying to the point there were long raised lines all over my body where the bamboo was used , also having a dinner fork thrown at me to the point where it stuck in my head ball because I got infront of the tv to get a pair of socks , and beat in many other ways .

    Saw my father try to kill my mother with a raving knife just like the scene out of the film phsyco

    Because of my beatings and being constantly awoke to my father beating my mother and them shouting at each other I used to wet the bed and there was never any hot water in the house I can’t remember ever having a bath so I used to go to school smelling of urine and would get bullied in school ( I was very young).
    I could go on and on with the abuse not only of the body but of the mental abuse and that was just my father now my mother , well that was different she was very skill full at the mental abuse .
    I myself today confronted the demons and strive to be the best dad I can and run a small bisuness ,,, I dead feel sucre at one stage of my life because I was married for 35 years and thought out the years she taught me that I am a human being and that what I went through as a child wasn’t my fault but 2 years ago my wife passed past by with cancer and my world of failure as a man , husband , dad all come back and went through sheer hell because I didn’t have my wife by my side to keep things in perspective , the hardest thing for me was I beat myself up so bad that I as a man try to save her but failed and let her my daughter and myself down as I was the man and protect them both .
    I battled through with those demons in my mind after my wife’s passing for 2 years ,,, it was like the scene from the film rocky where he went through a personal war, for me it was like being in a tunnel and I knew there was a light at the end of that tunnel but couldn’t see it and eventually I could see a pin light and I knew I was healing .
    Oh by the way my name is Wayne nice to meet you ,,,, welcome to Wayne’s world , a man who also ended up a singer and Sang to raise lots of money for charity’s , cancer being the main charity I raised money for and even that kicked me in the teeth later in my life by taking my wife .
    I’ve had many many battles but I will win the war

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    • May 30, 2016 at 8:49 pm

      Hi Wayne, Husbands and wives give so much to each other. I have wondered how my husband would manage without me and vice versa. I am finding a great help in the Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) – Gary Craig. I don’t subscribe to his deeper beliefs however. But I believe his understanding of blocked emotional energy is sound. I have been feeling very alone and without purpose since I retired and since the loss of what was once a strong friendship. I was even despising myself, a feeling which was much deeper than my current circumstances. With this practice of EFT/Tapping I am learning to love myself where I am at right now. Tapping starts with a set up phrase such as “Even though I did not stop the cancer (or whatever) I completely love and accept myself”. or “Even though she is not here I completely love and accept myself” This phrase is repeated while tapping with your hands on different parts of your body, see youtube explanation. It sounds silly, but I have found it works. I have also found that I have more energy and more insight into where I am at. btw I got smacked too for crying and once asked my father to smack me so that I could go to sleep. He stopped smacking me so much at night time after that. I think with my father he had a stress problem perhaps related to low vitamin b absorption and he could not cope with lively children. My mother was afraid he could have become an alcoholic as a relative was alcoholic. My background is much milder than yours and more in the range of neglect than abuse. I hope you find the answers you are looking for and feel better soon. bless you.

      Reply
  • December 14, 2015 at 7:34 pm

    Dr Jonice, I want to thankyou for taking the time to write and post. I am slowly digging out of the CEN hole. regards, Tony

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  • December 29, 2015 at 1:32 pm

    I’ll make it short. I’m an adult recovering from Child Sexual, physical and emotional abuse that lasted several years. This morning I woke up to the realization that although I’ve been through much therapy etc I was stuck in Little Boy Victim Land all my life. I realized that things are not working in my life because I’m still there. I haven’t moved on. I am stuck without a clue how to get unstuck. This information I read was extremely helpful and thought provoking. This is given me a great place to start. Thanks for your wisdom and advice.

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