5 thoughts on “The 3 Essential Emotion Skills for Parenting

  • October 14, 2015 at 3:24 pm

    I totally agree that the listed points are essential emotion skills of adults, and think the example is really insightful on the whole. However, I find it odd that the author takes the view that Zach should always do what the teacher says, and that his response was “rude”. I thought Zach stood up for himself against something he disagreed with well, and that such assertiveness would probably serve him well as he grows up and has to face the world. I don’t like this: “However, she can’t stop there, because his tendency to debate (the likely result of having two highly verbal older siblings) will continue to be a problem for Zach at school unless he can correct it. ” Good debate skills, involving reason and listening to the other side, are an excellent thing for a child to develop. Perhaps he would do well to learn to keep cool in such situations, but I don’t think his behaviour needs “correct[ing]”. The message: “It’s so important that when any grownup at school asks you to do something, you do it right away.” puts children at risk by predators, and of being taken advantage of more generally, and discourages him from building trust in his own judgement.

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  • October 19, 2015 at 9:08 am

    I totally agree with you on these essentials Jonice, nothing beats the devotion of a parent. What a great post you wrote. Keep it up.

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  • December 4, 2015 at 9:27 am

    ““It must’ve been hard for you. But, you see, Mrs. Rollo’s class is very big and she doesn’t have time to talk things over like we are right now. It’s so important that when any grownup at school asks you to do something, you do it right away. Will you try to do as asked without saying anything back, Zach?””

    ^^^ THAT IS SUPER DANGEROUS TO SAY! Unless you have conversations with your child about when it is CORRECT to disagree with an adult, you should NOT be saying this.

    This is how children learn to accept abuse from adults, this is sometimes what leads them to not opening up about inappropriate touching, this is NOT a healthy explanation when you need your child to know they have a certain level of autonomy (passed the restrictions required for keeping them safe and happy).

    Bad, bad, bad. Which is a shame as, in essence, the article is an important one.

    Never, ever tell a child to listen to somebody unequivocally with no questions asked. A kid is liable to take this as an absolute, especially children at higher risk, such as those on the autistic spectrum.

    Just because it is a “grownup at school” doesn’t mean their intentions will be good ones.

    Had to vent.

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    • December 4, 2015 at 12:09 pm

      I agree that parents should educate their children about inappropriate touching and boundary violations. However, I think it should be kept separate from the generic rules for how the child should behave in his classroom. Telling your child to listen to and obey their teacher is very important, and so is telling your child about inappropriate touching. Giving your child clear behavioral guidelines and a healthy respect for authority figures does not make him more vulnerable to sexual abuse. A lack of support and lack of education about inappropriate touching certainly may. Thank you for your comment.

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