120 thoughts on “The Six Hallmarks of a Sociopath

  • September 6, 2015 at 1:26 pm

    Interesting reading. Is it true that some people are attracted towards Sociopaths? Or is there a type that Sociopaths are drawn to?

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    • March 27, 2016 at 10:34 pm

      My mother is a psychopath. She was given a psychological evaluation. Her truthfulness was measured at around 15%, she pretended to not know what was asked so, and her IQ measured at 70, which is not likely because she is great at math, and loves to read. In that situation my mother was very guarded, she shut down completely. My mother appeals to most people. My mother lies a lot. She tells stories about people and those who listen to her are drawn in. I tell her friends that she is lying and I’m the bad guy. With my mother, I’m always on the lose/lose situation. My mother had a very good friend. She got her full sympathy. She convinced them I was such a burden, she sacrificed so much for me and I am ungrateful. Her friend hated me. My mother convinced her friend I used drugs, which I never did. Her friend even sat down with me to tell me the harms of drugs. Then my mother slept with her friends husband. Her friend hated me again this time with the reasoning that since she is my mother then I must be like her. I tried to shut her out of my life. But then she made an allegation of child abuse against me and challenged me for custody. That’s when she had to have a psych eval. I ended up on court ordered therapy because being her daughter must of suffered severe child abuse. See? Lose/lose.

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      • April 3, 2016 at 3:06 am

        That’s awful GGP! I’ve been through similar with my (x) parents. I no longer have ANYTHING to do with them- healing comes a lot faster with people like that out of your life.

        Just don’t make the mistake I made by devoting a good portion of my life trying to find other people to replace them (other narcissists and sociopaths) in the hope I could find closure (for not being able to fix/help parents) by fixing them. I believe it’s best to leave those people behind all together- they aren’t conducive to a healthy functional life. You’re stronger without those people!

        Also, having a parent or parents like that absolutely does not mean you’re anything like them. Every personality trait can be used for good or evil. Many children from abusive parents repel the behaviours that have hurt them so badly, and end up being the complete opposite of their parents. In some cases they are far more functional and ‘good hearted’ than the average person who hasn’t been exposed to extremes in dysfunction.

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      • June 21, 2017 at 11:57 am

        Thank you for this comment, I was actually searching the web trying to see if it were even possible to have two sociopathic parents when I am so overly empathetic, loving and caring to a fault. My dad makes me cry and does not flinch, I tell him he makes me want to commit suicide and he does not flinch yet whenever he answers the door he is suddenly a stranger to me, a happy jolly kind person, laughing with whoevers at the door. Someone I’ve never encountered myself. I’m 22 and even just then he screamed at me down the phone and it’s completely effected my whole day. This article and this comment has helped me a lot to finally FINALLY understand my
        Life.

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      • June 27, 2018 at 2:41 am

        Wow my dad was the same he was more cruel to me and my mom than my sisters because my sisters looked like him. He would verballyy and emotionally abuse me as a result i would get blamed for everything i could never play with my little sister wo him getting mad. as a result my lil sister took advantage of that many times. My older sister moved at 18 with a older man that is also abusive. I told her to not do so to be patient with herself because she had also suffered abuse from our parents But she couldn’t take it anymore. My dads abuse has caused alot of divisions in the family. None of My sister’s get along. The oldest is in denial and has grown to hate me i guess because I developed antisocial personality disorder. The younger one also began to use her privelege card to make me feel bad in front of my dad. My mother the one who was supposed to protect me but instead betrayed her own daughter was never ther3. allowed sexual abuse from my oldest disabled brother. Also protected her abusers

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      • April 22, 2016 at 1:49 pm

        Time to move out and move on. Usually no cure for this. Sounds like borderline personality disorder combined with Sociopathic tendancy. Your not alone many people myself included spent years in relationships thinking things will get better but they seldom do. Now its up to you to do damage control. Don’t let her know anything about your life. Get into groups of others that have been victimized by these people.

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      • July 16, 2016 at 3:49 am

        I was in care as a child and just received my care records my own mother kept leaving me with total stranger even though social services were involved back then I read my files and broke down in tears my own mother showed no love towards me or my siblings hit us shouted at us why I was in care she wrote letter demanding her children back to get housing on two occasions even threatened social services she was told to write to me my mum wrote hi weathers fine from mum no emotion at all that is all the letter said my mum was given visiting rights the home told her how disturbed her children were we were rocking screaming she didn’t want to visit we couldn’t meet her needs as a sociopath I was 7 years old couldn’t climb stairs use a knife or folk use the toilet or speak properly when social services finally took me and my sister after leaving us at a public house we were like animals screaming rocking this is the effects of living with a sociopath mother who cares nothing except for all the men she can get and use and that is it thank you for reading this

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      • October 21, 2018 at 4:02 pm

        My mother is a psychopath. She is void of empathy, warmth or compassion. She has done very cruel things to many people, especially her children. My dad left when I was 7 years old. His documented reason for divorce was “mental cruelty”. My siblings and I have suffered so much because of her. A lot of her cruelty was directed to her children. We suspect she maybe even had to something to do with our grandmother’s and her husband’s deaths because she has never worked and had no money. She took over grandma’s estate, illegally, and didn’t tell anyone she was dying. Her husband dies mysteriously too. She needed his veteran’s benefits to live. If went into a nursing home she would’ve had nothing.

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    • April 22, 2016 at 1:34 pm

      Empaths attract Sociopaths. Empaths are good people that find it hard to believe someone could just be evil. I say evil because Sociopath is a personality disorder and NOT a mental disorder. Sociopaths even if they ate not aware of their condition pick up naturally on empathic behaviors and instinctively know they can use these people for their own selfish and narsistic gdin. They will love bomb and flatter at first to lure their victims in and after time ruin their lives without any guilt. Empaths are good people but sometimes loving and naive to a fault. They may be attracted to a Sociopath because generally a Sociopath had a bold demenure about them and many Empaths are shy and modest. Being raised without a Father and a very loving Mother made me a shy Empath that got walked over by Men and Women. By time I realized this I was 50 years old and lost about everything.There should be mandatory classes in High School on how to detect and avoid these Creatures.

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      • June 21, 2017 at 12:05 pm

        I completely agree about the classes. I’m 22 and I’ve only just now found out/worked out that my parents are sociopaths. Knowing this earlier would of helped me so much. I’ve had a terrible life. No matter what I do is wrong to them but now I see it’s some messed up game to them. Especially my “father”. I’m too emotional to even say anymore as he’s completely ruined my day with just one phone call.

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    • April 22, 2016 at 6:17 pm

      HI I FEEL ON THE PART OF DO U ATTRACT OR NOT, I HOPE IF U MEET SUCHA FRIEND U CHERISH UR FRIEND BEACAUSE THE VEIW IS DIFFERENT WITH LOV FOLKS WHAT ALOT OF RELATIONSHIPS ARE PEOPLE ARENT ISLAND U KNOW AND IN STEAD OF BEING BIOUS U COULD COUNT WHO U ARE AND WORK TO NOT BE BUGGED SOMEONE IS A SOCIOPATH, COULD U FILL IN WHO MAD EU GOD EVEN SO… I KNOW WELL ON THE NOTE OF GRIEVING MY GUY SOUSE TODAYS DEATH AND HOW I LOVE HIM THANKS BECAUSE WHEN WE GROW AT UNDERSTANDING WE EVEN GET PALS AND SO ON …………….WAS READING ITS US YES AB WE DON MIND CUZ WE LUV U

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    • June 16, 2016 at 11:00 pm

      I stop myself now but I am attracted to the rush of adrenaline knowing anything is possible. Lovers and friends both…its the devil in them…its kind of fun until the target becomes me.

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    • October 9, 2017 at 4:11 pm

      I’m trapped living with a sociopath father and a mother who is emotionally dead. He has taken so much money from me that I can’t afford to move out or get a car or start my adult life. I’m stuck here living like a 12 year old at 32.

      I think it runs in the family, as my grandfather was the same and abandoned his kids. My parents insisted I get the best education possible and pressured me throughout out my childhood to do nothing but study and get good grades. Academic achievement was all that mattered. I was given no alternative aside from university when I hit 17 and thought I was doing the right thing, even though I was autistic and terrified of going away to university on my own as I didn’t know how to cope with a lot of everyday things. I agreed to it, as I wanted to please everyone. Then at the last minute they turned around and said I wasn’t getting a single £ from them and had to find all the money on my own. I’d already accepted the uni offer and hadn’t applied for any loans, and there wasn’t time to apply for scholarships or grants or anything. So I ended up taking a bank loan and credit cards for the first year. Then I got into more debt as I took out a student loan for the second year, but still had the private debt to pay back. I ended up in so much debt and was working all night and then going to lectures or studying in the day. I got really sick as a result and ended up in A&E with stomach ulcers, and teeth and hair falling out. I started to go grey at 20 (although it looked quite cool at the time, so I didn’t mind so much).

      When I got my degree the recession started and I couldn’t get a job for most of the first few years (other than some low paid temporary contracts). But my dad wanted rent money anyway, so I borrowed more to pay him as it was a tiny bit cheaper than living somewhere else. Then after the recession ended I got a full time job, but was also working nights and weekends too since I was in so much debt by then. I ended up back in hospital with ulcers again. My dad threatened to kick me out if I didn’t keep paying the rent money.

      So it took me years to pay back all my loans and I basically did nothing except work all the time. No holidays, car, clothes, friends, nothing. All that time he would treat me like dirt, insult me, boss me around, lose his temper over the smallest thing, insult my mother, lie about me to people and humiliate me. I really wanted to get married and have a fmaily and home when I was younger, but I had no time or money to go out and meet people and I wasn’t given any space at home so couldn’t bring anyone back either. All that mattered was bringing home money for him.

      My dad still makes jokes about the fact that I am the only unmarried one in the family and getting old. He also jokes that I don’t have holidays or a social life, although I am working constantly to pay him money so he can travel and pay for an extra home. I’m not even sure how I would even make friends at this point, as I have zero experience just going out with people. I still can’t afford to drive or run a car, can’t afford my own place, have little to no savings for retirement, no hobbies, no friends, no partner. I feel like he has stolen my life from me. I’m nothing more than a cash cow to him.

      I day dream constantly that he will get some horrific painful illness and finally die so I can be free of him and start my life. I hope hell exists so that he will spend eternity burning for what he has done. I know my mother will never stand up for me. She is a doormat to him and has chosen to stay silent in return for a wealthy lifestyle. So at this point it’s jsut a waiting game of who will die first – that evil sociopath of old age or me of suicide.

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      • October 10, 2017 at 12:27 pm

        Seriously!
        You need to start puttning money to the side secretly.
        To the moment when you one day disapear from that sociopaths life forever!
        Change state so he cant trace you.
        Do not comit suicide, it means the sociopath has won the battle.
        32 is still a to ung age as you have a life in front of you that could be Great!
        You need to light the spark of aggression and life and make yourself a goal: Freedom.

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      • October 10, 2017 at 12:28 pm

        Seriously!
        You need to start puttning money to the side secretly.
        To the moment when you one day disapear from that sociopaths life forever!
        Change state so he cant trace you.
        Do not comit suicide, it means the sociopath has won the battle.
        32 is still a to ung age as you have a life in front of you that could be Great!
        You need to light the spark of aggression and life and make yourself a goal: Freedom.
        A goal in your mind is a kind of thing that makes people survive concentration camps and wars.

        Reply
  • September 7, 2015 at 3:10 am

    Correct me… etc

    Didn’t the designation of ‘sociopath’ end? I thought that recent diagnosis were that there are just variations of psychopath?

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    • April 6, 2016 at 8:31 am

      That is not correct actually. The actual diagnosis is anti-social personality disorder. The distinction between Psychopathy and sociopathy is mainly the cause. Sociopath’s paths are made rather than born. They are made through childhood experiences Psychopaths are born and could be raised in the most loving homes and they will still be psychopaths. This is a bit of a crude surface explanation that barely scratches the surface. there are other sub groups with in these main groups and so on.

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      • June 16, 2016 at 10:34 pm

        Impossible to prove a psychopath is born. I adhere to the notion it only takes one unfortunately timed trauma. For example a 3 year old brother touching his sister just onxe at 1 years old. It would go unnoticed and the girl would be called psychopath. But she was not born that way. It only took a second.

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  • September 9, 2015 at 1:50 pm

    I believe you’re right.

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  • October 2, 2015 at 4:37 pm

    I was abused by both my parents,my mother battered me..my stepfather rescued me,my real father tried to have sex with me at 14..and gave me whizz.i am 36now..my mother did not show me affection .she constantly reminded me I looked like my father,stupid thick etc.as an adult I have ibs and gave anxiety attacks,eating disorders I suffered laate teens.i am very sensitive now,people shouting upsets me,my ex partner abused me too.i am now with a loving partner.i cannot get put of my head my mother beating me up in the bathroom,there was blood everywhere,for years after I had violent dreams..i have only recelty been able to have pap smear test after 12yrs..the last one I had a serious panic attack..usually I vomit and feel so dizzy..why and how do I still remember the bathroom?

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  • November 9, 2015 at 5:02 pm

    What do you do as a parent if you believe your teenage daughter is a sociopath or has borderline personality disorder? I need advice, I’m trying to save my baby’s life and have no idea what I’m doing.

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    • April 6, 2016 at 8:43 am

      I hope I am not to late in answering your post. If you truly believe your child is a sociopath then you should seek psychiatric care for her. be very clear about her behaviors and be honesty in the details don’t try to protect her or excuse away any behaviors tell every detail. One majorly important thing to realize is that sociopaths are very manipulative and if you make excuses or mitigate anything your child could be misdiagnosed [this is true in any case]. The huge problem in this kind of case would be that if your child is a sociopath and is misdiagnosed then the treatment could make things much worse. usual Talk Therapy is like Sociopath Blending Class. Sociopaths that do talk therapy just learn how to be better, sneakier, and FAR MORE Dangerous sociopaths.

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    • April 22, 2016 at 1:42 pm

      Get her into therapy assp. It could take years but she is still young. I think getting her to volunteer helping the less fortunate can open up s good healthy stream on empathy. Show her how her actions will not only hurt others but herself. There is no pill for this. Its a personality disorder not a mental illness.

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  • November 11, 2015 at 12:47 am

    I have borderline personality disorder. I was diagnosed over a year ago. I believe ny step father (who is no longer apart of my life directly) is a sociopath. Many of my mental health team agree and believe its his sociopathic tendencies which contributes to my bpd.

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    • April 22, 2016 at 1:52 pm

      Scary. Its almost like his Demon went into you. Hope he was not sexually abusing you. Get help and pull out the old personality that is the real you.

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  • November 11, 2015 at 10:14 am

    I recently,for about the 100th time left my boyfriends house and haven’t been back or talked with him. Over the almost eight years I’ve been with him.I have seen many outburst that turn into dictations of my character and name calling without any easing up from him, then he will actually say it was me the bursted in the rage doing the name calling. I leave there and am so torn with emotions about forgiving him and loving him, hurt-deep hurt. I get so depressed then he will call or message me. The last time it was;”sorry”just sorry. Then he expected to carry on as though nothing had happened but when the next outburst comes he will start in on about 1 incident that may have taken place 5 years ago and belittle me with more name calling and fabrications of things I’d say or do. I continue to run all this through my head sometimes confide in a friend
    But doesn’t seem to relieve the anguish of the disappointing sadness. I have always been a strong out going person, my question is? Should I look for support to stay away from him and let my mind rest from hope any longer. I feel he has transferred his negativity into my self esteem. I literally could write a book on tactics and behaviors to look out for in a sociopath companion.

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    • April 22, 2016 at 1:58 pm

      Your not alone. Twenty waisted years for me. Lies,adultery, drama. I was an Empathic person and I attracted these people into my life. Both Men and Women. Find out why eou attracted him so it does not hdppen again. Most likely your Childhood has something to do with it.

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    • May 4, 2016 at 9:57 am

      This is the first time I am commenting on anything I’ve read over the past 2 months regarding this subject. I count myself as fortunate in that my sociopath boyfriend dropped me like a hot potato after only 6 months of dating. I did not know that a sociopath could be so seemingly loving (love bombing) and my “soulmate” (mirroring). I found out some details about his life that confirmed he had been lying to me about several important life events. I never initiated contact with him again. That’s the gift I received from reading these blogs and comments: I discovered that No Contact is the most self caring action I could practice. And, I usually think of No Contact as no action; a default. However, it has been an active choice for me over and over again. I have to release my view of him – he is very attractive, a successful professional, and seemed to have an amazing personality. Now, after 2 months, I am forgetting what he looks like and what his voice sounds like. Such a gift to myself. I encourage anyone who now knows that you are in a relationship with this personality type to adopt the no contact behavior and save yourself from what will be a confusing, belittling relationship.

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      • December 29, 2016 at 8:21 pm

        This is the best tactic to get rid of these beasts! No Contact, no info, no reaction. I have over time developed such a skill in spotting sociopaths that i see them on first sight today. Mostly because of my sociopath grandma and uncle which made me search back in the days. Something was wrong in the family and i was looking för an answer. Becoming aware of them and getting stronger with time can make you a real pain in the ass for theese devils. But all of them, 100% , are weak inside and if you threaten them correctly you will see that they are cowards who run like hell and fear YOU!Become the person that sociopaths drar!

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    • June 16, 2016 at 10:40 pm

      That sounds like borderline if he is insulting and suspicious but not manipulative and deceitful. You should get out. I have it and I am a soul killer but its not sociopathy, its emotional deregulation a ka c-ptsd. He needs to recall his childhood trauma so he stops yelling at you and starts yelling at his mom and or dad. Then he will cut ties and emerge much healthier.

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    • August 30, 2016 at 4:33 am

      This boyfriend sounds exactly like my mother, always making assessments and name calling—-and then turning everything around and saying “it’s YOU that’s angry”—-well YAH! After they get through trashing and discarding you, yeah, if COURSE you’ll be angry, duh. We have to get these two TOGETHER. Like those big beetles in Thailand, actually that would be a form of animal cruelty, although I wouldn’t put my mother on the level of an animal —-because animals have feelings and attachments—-no, that’s too good for her. Forgiveness is pop psychology and religious BS. Who could forgive such endless back biting? I finally had to just let her cut me down and make sure the door hit her in the face on her way out. Only THEN have I begun to mo e on. Not the same as forgiveness. It’s more like being able to slowly get up after a debilitating accident and trying to go forward with your life. The hardest part is having to pick up the peices all by YOURSELF. You’ve been left holding the bag and there’s no closure. Forgiveness can never provide closure after such people. They’ve already forgiven themselves with their endless excuses and assessments. We have to forgive OURSELVES. For having kept these people in our lives. Feeling stupid for letting oneself get walked on is like a continuation of their abuse. I wish you better luck on your journey.

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  • November 11, 2015 at 5:57 pm

    To be in denial is to enable beh…to confront is to correct it. However, a person cant chg a psychopath…they are wired that way from birth. However, a sociopath is a product of their experiences…hard to undo the damage. We need to be protected from them and to be damn glad we are not like them. Its unfortunate for them and us they became that way…they dont know love.

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    • April 22, 2016 at 1:59 pm

      Unfortunately I tried to save one and almost died in the process.

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  • November 12, 2015 at 3:07 am

    I think one of my siblings could be a sociopath and the way he treats people matches every one of the hallmarks. I wondered in the past sometimes. The bit about denial is very interesting because I think deep down that he really could be yet I have every justification and don’t think that I could ever accept it…. I believe he loves and ultimately doesn’t want to hurt people. It is very confusing actually.

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  • November 12, 2015 at 3:08 am

    I wonder is it genetic

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    • April 12, 2016 at 6:37 pm

      It can be.

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    • April 22, 2016 at 2:02 pm

      Probably both. Genetically can predispose a person and then early abuse can activate it.

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  • November 13, 2015 at 12:03 pm

    Wonder if any sociopaths are in the psychology business… from what i have read they do like to be in positions of power, congress, policemen? who knows but im sure it’s not as black and white as it seems to diagnose someone.

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    • April 22, 2016 at 2:08 pm

      Pastors!!!!!But don’t blame God .Jesus would rebuke most of them.

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  • November 16, 2015 at 12:16 pm

    This isn’t a funny topic, but reading the symptoms, I believe most of the extreme Republican’ts are sociopaths.
    Their view of the world is totally weird and hurtful.

    Myself, I’ve had a few too many of them over my years as a ‘real’ employee. (I’m employed as a volunteer now. Much better.) The first sociopath I ran into was at my first full time job. He was so bad I was acting in a socially unacceptable manner (maybe just to him, who cares?) It was suggested that I get counseling. It saved my sanity back then and has been a huge help for the last 35 years. And that has gotten me to where I am now, which isn’t perfect but ENOUGH.

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  • November 18, 2015 at 8:12 pm

    Of course you see sociopaths in govt and psych fields. It is disheartening how many people can hurt someone and not care or blame the person/victim. Anyone who has been to more than a few therapists has seen some
    traits of sociopath. We all would like to think therapists only wnt to help. Therapists are only human. Some are vulnerable and vulnerable people obviously get hurt more easily. I’ve had therapist friends who were unreal.
    One retired MFT called people shits. Another talked about shocking clients and enjoying the frailness of humanity.
    As he said, he would NEVER hurt anyone. Of oourse.

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  • November 20, 2015 at 2:13 am

    Janine, I hope you see this. You may want to get counseling for PTSD. It sounds like you more than likely have it. Better yet, find a yoga teacher that teaches yoga nidra. The US military is even using this alternative healing for the Veterans that suffer from PTSD.

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  • November 24, 2015 at 10:52 am

    From all my previous readings and video watching, (National Geographic: The Psychpath Next Door, available on Youtube and very informative) it seems to me that the writers understanding of Sociopathy is what most other professionals refer to as Psychopathy, and the two are very much NOT the same. From my understanding, the writer confuses the two terms, and what she describes as a sociopath is really a psychopath. Sociopaths are very often loners with poor social skills and little education, who also do not pay close attention to detail the way a psychopath would.

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  • November 24, 2015 at 10:57 am

    Sociopathology is more often linked to nurturing, as in resulting from childhood neglect and abuse. Psychopathology has indecent studies, been theorized to be the result of low oxygen flow through the amagydala and prefrontal cortex immediately prior to birth and right after birth.

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    • August 30, 2016 at 4:52 am

      O.M.G., that’s what Aileen Wournos’s mother said happened to Aileen—the first known female serial killer—at birth. The lack of oxygen thing. That could be a case of “inborn” psychopathy, aside from the genetic kind. In a way, the psychopath is more pitiful than the sociopath—wjo secretly KNOWS BETTER.

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  • November 27, 2015 at 1:04 am

    How do you protect your young adults from their father the sociopath? We had a very ugly divorce because he left to be with another woman but once gone all the signs could be seen that he is sociopath. I tried to educate them so that could also see the signs to protect themselves. They refused and said I was just bitter. He is trying to win kids as revenge on me. Problem is that they softening to him and believing the lies. Mother bear is not able to watch this. They are 22 and 25. They were 18 and 22 at time of divorce. Ex hates me because I refused to lie as to reason for divorce and called out his hypocrisy.

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    • April 22, 2016 at 2:13 pm

      Hi Mama Bear. Me Papa Bear going through the same thing. How WaS it living without true love and affection for so long? Bout killed me.

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    • September 8, 2016 at 11:18 pm

      I am in your exact situation , my sons are 19 and 22 right now, divorce was final November 2015. Long marriage, 24 years. Your kids will learn the truth and make their own decisions, my ex has basically ditched our sons and you know what , its for the best, my sons have a safe loving home here with me while they attend college. The creep never even called the boys last Christmas nor Christmas eve, he never sent even a card on my youngest sons 18th birthday. Oddly enough I no longer have night terrors, go figure, it was him.

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    • January 6, 2019 at 12:37 pm

      Don’t try to make your kids mind up for them . My mom used to try to do that to me because she ( understandably) hated my father . I had no real love for the man because he was abusive and my mother’s behavior came off as manipulative. My mother very basically had no respect for my feelings at all , in any case and when she tried to turn me against my father, it just annoyed me , which my extremely immature narcissistic mother misread as me supporting my father. . Let your children make up their own minds about how they feel about their father and how much they’ll interact with him. Your emotional controlling is inappropriate for a child over the age of 12 unless he’s physically dangerous .

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  • November 28, 2015 at 7:22 pm

    A relatively accurate list of signs/symptoms of a suprisingly common disorder. However the term “Sociopath” is incorrect. The actual psychiatric diagnosis is Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASDP). Sociopath is a “pop psychology” term which has pervaded society through media, fictional or otherwise, as a way to villify and dehumanize those afflicted. Can individuals with ASPD be heartless, cruel, and otherwise terrible people? Absolutely. Is it fair to say everyone afflicted with the disorder is a monster? Not in the slightest. While many ASPD patients actively resist help, with the right combination of intensive therapies and possible pharmaceutical interventions, they can be functional and non-threataning members of society.

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    • April 11, 2016 at 3:22 am

      does Mike or anyone else know of any examples personally, of this type of personality being treated successfully? What type of therapy/psych/counsellor can benefit a person who likes the way they are, and sees having conscience and empathy as weaknesses?

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    • April 22, 2016 at 2:15 pm

      Yes and Hitler could have been treated but I wouldn’t want to live with him.

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  • December 3, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    I’m not sure if my mom is sociopath? However I’m very acquainted with feeling of unlovability. My parents both dealt with many issues when i grew up and that took away from our relationship. I felt (&still feel most of the time) that i am nothing and worth nothing. My parents have gone through a lot with me and bipolar d/o. And I’m greatful for that. But deep inside when the nights are long i still feel like that little girl who just wants to be loved.

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    • April 22, 2016 at 2:18 pm

      Wish I could reach through cyber space and give you a big loving hug. You are lovable. You have to find someone worthy of your love. Learn the traits of Sociopaths and avoid them. If you date someone make sure they are not love bombing you in the beginning. Find someone that has empathy. If someone died not cry during a sad movie Big red flag.

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  • December 7, 2015 at 9:50 pm

    It is difficult to deal with someone who has BPD or know if they actually have been misdiagnosed and have ASPD instead. I have had a friend most of my life that bashes me verbally. She never apologizes in fact it is inevitably always my fault that she got angry. Recently she told me in response to my having a heart attack that I deserved it for being mean to her. I have spent a week trying to figure out what I could have done to trigger this last episode but come up empty. She does not want me to call write or txt her and this time I am considering honoring her request. The problem is she has cancer and has alienated all of her family and friends.

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    • April 22, 2016 at 2:22 pm

      I had a best friend for 30 years that I had to walk away from. Constant put downs and attacks. Until you have faith in yourself and put a higher value on yourself you will continue to be a victim.

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  • December 9, 2015 at 4:09 pm

    I believe both my father and older brother are sociopaths. They are both consumed with their own well being and viciously attack people for sport. Both have left a wake of broken lives behind them. I like to tell myself they are not evil, just sociopathic. Identifying sociopaths should be taught to children so those affected by sociopaths don’t spend decades feeling worthless. I’m shocked at how many young people today meet the criteria of sociopath. They are a generation that think nothing of destroying someone life for simply having a different opinion. Is it possible to breed sociopathy into an entire generation?

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    • April 22, 2016 at 2:25 pm

      Bible calls it sins of the father. Science calls it genetic. Then something such as child abuses triggers it. Then the fact that our Capitalistic and Political system is Sociopathic by nature helps breed this personality disorder into the mainstream.

      Reply
  • December 11, 2015 at 4:49 pm

    Oh my god, I was bullied as a child by an older sister. It was never acknowledged by my parents and I had no support. She was very academic and a high achiever then went through a 5year decline of burn out, going from writing academic papers, doing a PHD flying here and there to give lectures to blacking out, with drew and cut contact with her whole family for one year and then attempted suicide, was hospitalised and diagnosed as having a phychotic episode. She was and is on medication. I was not one bit surprised my inner reaction was yes of course she is a psycho I met that person again and again as a child and begged my parents to discipline her. I have asked my mum years later to please acknowledge that I was bullied, she says I love you both I cannot, I never saw it happen. I say please Mum believe me, she also bullied my mum, told us both how incredibly stupid and worthless we are. I feel so alone, why is she given all the support, why is she not accountable for her actions? Please advise me where I can get help.

    Reply
  • December 13, 2015 at 6:40 am

    My ex boss was definitely a psychopath. She had issues. At the start i though she was threatened by me and then she started trying to say i had done things wrong when i had not. If i had known the issues and how to get around them i would have. Lesson learned and no one will ever screw me over again!!

    Reply
  • December 24, 2015 at 12:16 pm

    Because of the increase in trauma due to gun violence, childhood abuse and neglect, etc. there seems to be a higher incidence of personality disorders of all kinds. I believe with dialectical behavioral therapy and pharmaceutical interventions there is treatment and recovery for many. The trick is trying to engage individuals who have no internal locus of control or point to everyone else as the problem…. We need to find ways maybe through art and music to engage and then show radical compassion while we keep them accountable and teach new skills. I love the Breakthrough for Men and Women, Pia Mellody’s work as well, fabulous…

    Reply
    • April 22, 2016 at 2:28 pm

      Plus the sad fact that this Predatory Capitalistic System rewards and worships Sociopaths.

      Reply
      • June 8, 2016 at 2:33 pm

        Jeff, I am sorry for what you experienced, but the fact is the greatest psychopaths and sociopaths in human history have all flourished most infamously under non-capitalistic economies. Capitalism is the ONLY system in which children from poor to moderate means can achieve fabulous success ranging from billionaire status (Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Sam Walton, etc) to millionaire status (millions of people including my impoverished-in-childhood father) just by creatively providing for their fellow man what others have yet to provide.

        Reply
  • December 29, 2015 at 7:41 pm

    Judy,

    Please stay away from him for your own safety and sanity. I just recently left an abusive relationship, and all of the psychological tactics you describe sound very familiar to me. Please look up the term “crazy making”. That is what he is trying to do to you. I assure you that you will be a lot happier once you get away from him for good. In my case I was only with my ex for 7 months. He was very jealous and verbally abusive. It escalated slowly st first but quickly picked up, resulting in him choking me and slapping me on a regular basis and threatening in detail how he would kill me if I cheated on him. One night he put his hand over my face so I couldn’t breathe after headbutting me hard enough to leave a lump and bruise that lasted two weeks. I left for a few days before going back to him for a week. After another incident I decided to leave for good. He kept promising me that he would get help for his severe alcoholism and anger, but it never happened. Even if your partner has never touched you physically, mental abuse can be just as bad if not worse in many cases. I know you have been with him for a long time and you care about him, but you do not deserve to be treated that way and none of it is your fault. In time you will feel better and your self esteem will slowly increase. If he keeps contacting you, it is your right to file a protective order. I was going to do thos myself but he finally started leaving me alone and only contacts me occasionally at this point and I just ignore it. I may still do it if he picks up again. Part of the reason I didn’t file is because I was worried he might retaliate. I know this is a long response but I felt compelled to reach out to you to let you know that you aren’t alone and that you don’t deserve the way you have been treated. I hope things get better for you soon.

    Sincerely,

    J Marie

    Reply
  • January 1, 2016 at 10:57 pm

    Idk, not being able to feel anything has been working out well for me.

    Reply
    • April 22, 2016 at 2:30 pm

      Please teach me sounds like you have the secret that Empathetic People like us need.

      Reply
  • January 2, 2016 at 12:56 pm

    I’m beginning the process of recovery after dealing with what I now know is a sociopath. We’d known each other and met on the job about 5 years ago. We communicated casually as friends for the first 1 1/2 years after meeting and gradually started hanging out (dinner and movies only). He was promoted to another location, and 4 months later, so was I (separate location from him). We had mutual friends in common, and most everyone believed him to be this shy, quiet, nerdy good guy. He and I re-connected after 4 months after our transfers, and around March 2013, started talking more frequently (on a daily basis) via phone, Face Time, texts, emails at work , etc., and even continued to spend time together when I would would visit my family in our home state. Around February 2014, he started professing his love for me, telling me often, “I love you”, “I want you and can’t wait to see you”, “We’re together, I’m all yours”…carried this on for well-over a year, constantly communicating and making it seem that we were mutually exclusive. We took a trip to New Orleans for Christmas 2014, our first real ‘getaway trip’ alone, and all seemed well during the trip. However, shortly after, he began to admit that he had a real bad problem with porn and was using all kinds of stuff on the computer (FB, Twitter, Instagram, etc) for his “problem” and on Valentine’s Day 2015, dropped a bombshell saying that his last gf supposedly gave him an incurable STD, so he couldn’t be intimate with anyone (but he could never describe this std and whether or not he went and actually got tested). Fast forward a little over a few months, and this sexually sadistic side started to slowly show…he would send nude photos of himself at different times of the day and week, and videos of himself masturbating when he wasn’t at work or sleep, preyed on FB and Twitter, having hundreds of females on FB, different races and ages; began to tell me things like, “I want to take your virginity and will come close to raping you the next time I see you”, and other rather vulgar stuff (even admitting that while working as an Officer on different shifts with the Federal Bureau of Prisons, he would go to the bathroom and masturbate in order to stay awake). Next came the manipulation phase in which he tried to make me think that if I only did certain things for him, he’d want me and would want a relationship (even though I knew he was joking). I distanced myself from him in June 2015, and was moving on with my life, but 2 1/2 months later, he reappeared as if nothing had happened, begging me to talk with him again and be in his life, saying, “You’re my girl, I love you just as you are.” And all this other non-sense. Over all this time, he’d make cruel jokes and comments, would say things like, “I don’t care if I piss people off…I don’t have friends and don’t like people.” “Women are evil manipulative whores out for themselves”, and seemed very serious about saying these things, having no kind of care or concern for a person’s feelings really. When trying to vent or express feelings, he’d brush it off or joke about it and say that I was just crazy or weird. I literally told and begged this guy to go away and leave me alone…but he couldn’t!!! Continued to try to come back into my life. I ultimately and finally got rid of him when I discovered another young lady had been talking with him, and I proceeded to warn her about him and his tactics. She revealed to me that they’d known each other for about 4 years and he never mentioned being with me, always said he was single; would come and visit her and hang out when traveling back to our home state, and talked to her everyday as he did with me. She and I caught him in his lies and evil ways/tactics…he tried to brainwash her into thinking I was lying about everything I told her (but it was what he’d told me, said, and done), told her that I was just the woman he hurt when he got tired of me and didn’t want me in his life anymore (but he always have this sob story about how every ex gf had cheated on him and was no good). I gave too much time and attention to this guy…was bling, yes but he turns out to be quite the sociopath and emotional mess. His parents are racist (I’m black, he’s white) and he always stated that his mom and sister had depression (supposedly the sister tried to take her own life because an ex refused to return her phone calls and messages). I say all this to say, please be careful and pay attention to the signs or oddities that begin to surface before it’s too late.

    Reply
    • June 16, 2016 at 10:47 pm

      Thank you. I went through the same with a woman. Nice girl so I thought was actually an escort street walker porno actress swingers club gang bang girl, dominatrix plus online predator of innocent men who have no idea. I met her in a coffee shop so I always had an idea but poor guys who get dealt the full blow. I wad shocked at the compulsivity but not surprised at the hidden character.

      Reply
  • January 4, 2016 at 4:38 pm

    Sociopaths could be Academy award winning actors .They are very convincing in their actions ..They will convince YOU that You are the crazy one..

    Reply
    • April 22, 2016 at 2:35 pm

      Look up gas lighting. Sure sign of someone with borderline personality disorder.

      Reply
  • January 10, 2016 at 10:43 pm

    I ended up in a relationship with someone who is a true sociopath and have never met anyone of this type before. I can say that they are very charming and calculated (the charming is what sucked me in). They are also highly intelligent and are good at manipulating others and can be very convincing. There were a lot of lies and more lies to cover lies and so forth. At first I couldn’t put my finger on it. Something seemed really off about this person but i was blinded by their charm, humor and good looks. The turning point for me was when I was staying at their house and they started abusing an animal right in front of me. I will spare the details but it was horrifying. They were in a rage and when i tried to intervene they turned on me. I never saw them the same way after that and when I later tried to discuss it they were without any remorse, guilt, ect. They acted like there was something wrong with me for insinuating that their actions were wrong. Long story short I created distance from this person and later got suckered back in. I know, I was stupid. Before I knew it, I had spent thousands on this person and was in major cc debt. Beforehand my credit score was perfect and I had quite a savings in my bank for a 25 year old woman. I failed to see how much this person had used me and when it finally hit me I had enough debt to file bankruptcy. Later on, i witnessed more incidents of animal abuse with other animals. It got worse and worse. Seven years and a baby later I am here wondering how my child will be affected by this sociopath. A monster he calls dad :(((((

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  • January 10, 2016 at 11:02 pm

    Lastly, I just want to say that there were A LOT of red flags in the beginning. Be cautious about who you meet and don’t overlook the red flags in people. They are there for a reason!!! I do believe a big part of my problem was having low self-esteem. Sociopaths prey on the weak. They look for someone they can use, abuse, control, manipulate…so if you are like me, build yourself up, raise your standards and listen to your gut instincts before becoming too involved with people!!

    Reply
    • April 22, 2016 at 2:44 pm

      Same story here but she was actually nice to animals. I was raised without a Father. He got killed when I was 3. My Mom taught me to be compassionate and loving to s fault. I HAD no confidence growing up without a Father. Never thought I was good enough. That’s what I believed attracted Sociopaths to me. Both Men and Women. But the one that hurt me the most was the Woman I spent Twenty years with. Now I’m 53 lost my home, my credit, my savings. At least I’m still decent looking but now I’m afraid to date.

      Reply
  • January 12, 2016 at 11:39 am

    And how do we help our children who’s father is a full blown psychopath? I have a 9 year old and she has been in therapy ever since her Dad’s psychopathy became evident. The therapy has not helped her see or experience her Dad anything differently than the man he used to be. Her diagnosis has become severe anxiety.
    In the article, you have recommendations for adults to protect themselves:
    Be on your guard at all times.
    Know what you can and cannot expect from the sociopath.
    Avoid going to this person for emotional support or advice.
    Build an imaginary boundary between yourself and the sociopath.
    Don’t make excuses for the sociopath. Instead, hold him accountable for his actions.

    How can parents say any of this to the child without being sued for parental alienation???

    Thus far, I have not found any good resources to help me help my daughter. Any suggestions?

    Reply
  • January 17, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    My Dad was one ..He could never look any of his eight kids in the eye when talking to us..If any of us did something that people said ..Hey Your son/Daughter is great Talented whatever .He would act like it was nothing and turn his head..I believe he was jealous of his own children…He died and we were all sad..Why? I’ll never know.Isnt “Love” Weird ?

    Reply
  • January 20, 2016 at 10:34 am

    Interesting. Sociopaths are just a branch of a psychological disorder, is it not?

    Reply
  • January 24, 2016 at 11:21 am

    I do know a sociopath and a psychopath. My problem with articles like these is that they tend to act like the given socio/psycho path has chosen to be that way. They aren’t all harsh, abusive pieces of crap. The one I know is very introspective and goes out of his way to avoid doing things to hurt others. He may not care on an emotional level, but he knows right from wrong and what kind of things generally hurt others. Articles like these don’t help the harsh stigma that they themselves face.

    I’m not saying none of them are bad, either. My point is simply, it isn’t fair to paint all sociopaths with the same brush and colour.

    Reply
  • January 24, 2016 at 5:38 pm

    My mother was a sociopath. When I was 3 I knew how to spell my last name and I knew I caused my mother36 hours of labor. That was my original sin. I did not even know what “labor” was. I tried to run away from home twice by the time I was 4; once by subway. At 6 my mother tortured me by telling me she was not my mother and that my real mother had white hair and lived in Niagara Falls! When I went away to summer camp she gave my room away to my younger sister

    Reply
  • January 25, 2016 at 9:09 am

    I was with a sociopath/narcissist whatever the label I may give him, he was charming at first promised the world. Red flags were there but like many other women I brushed them away as a lot of us do. 7 years later I find out he had been cheating 2 months prior to our wedding and even before that on overseas golf trips with prostitutes and God knows who else. Hooked me back in once. Together 2.5 years during which time I know he was faithful as he knew I no longer trusted him and he tried and tried to prove himself. Only reason he was faithful is he got caught writing to his mistress asking her to wait until he felt it was ‘safe’ again (in a couple of months). I anonamously stabbed them both in the back before they had time to do it to me again. Bought a cheap phone and send myself warning messages that drove him crazy as he could not work out who was betraying him and who knew of his plan to resume his relationship with his mistress again. In the end 2.5 years later he committed a situation that caused his family a lot of embarrassment and he blamed me to save his own arse, then came home and tried to make me believe that MY MOUTH (a minor difference of opinion with his brother that had had been sorted out between us weeks before) got me thrown out of his family’s lives. He expected me to believe and feel guilt and sorry for myself for having expressed an opinion which was my right. When I realised his deception and his manipulation tactics I realised finally the man would think nothing of destroying my sanity to save his reputation. I chose to get him out of my life there and then, he was dangerous. I realised the extend he would go to protect himself. He had no qualms about betraying me behind my back which put me in a very dangerous situation and I realised he wasn’t with me because he ‘loved’ me, he was with me because he needed me with him. He left without even asking “why”? Walked away with his tail between his legs. Didn’t see him for 5 months while he travelled Australia. And of course as soon as he returned he expected and tried to come back as if nothing had happened, no explanation, no apology. Expected that Iwould fall back into his arms. He believed I had been punished enough 5 months and I would regret my decision. Tried everything, even used medical emergencies, appeared out of nowhere when everything failed to get a reaction from me. No Contact drove him crazy and become aggressive when I did not reply or react to his tricks to contact him or reconsider my decision. Yes, it hurt to be so cold, it is going totally against the grain of the kind person I am. But it is the best decision I have made for me. One chance I thought was fair to allow him to realise he needed to prove himself and become a better person if he wanted to live his life out with me (as he wished). However the second betrayal I would have been a fool to disregard, I am worthy of the chance to find someone I can rely on, trust and I know has my back and has no need to hurt or stab me in the back to save his own arse. I also had 2 children to protect from a pathological liar and a dangerous sociopath. Twice he suddenly and uninvited ‘appeared’ where he knew I would be, our golf club. Both times I treated him as if he did not exist. Gave him nothing, not even a look. It was VERY difficult for me to pretend to be so cold, it simply is not me. What kept me strong and determined to get him out of life, was the fact that by then, I knew he was a danger to myself, my children and in future if we were faced with any legal situation, he would have no qualms to lie to save his arse, especially as we travelled to Bali a few times a year and if he betrayed me there I could end up in jail in a strange land while he got off scott-free. I valued my life, my childrens’ future and my freedom too much and I was not about to give him the opportunity to betray me a third time. Once shame on him, twice shame on me. Giving him another chance would have been like giving him another bullet because he had missed the first time. Have not heard from him for 4 months now and he has moved to another state, has found a new victim and that is great news for me. I humiliated him by rejecting his attempts to worm his way back into my life, and he is now totally out of our lives and I am positive he will never have the audacity or the balls to try it again with me. In the end, he is a coward and when they know you are stronger than them, they are afraid of you. The experts tell you they become dangerous when humiliated and outed to their family and friends and could hurt you in order to get back at you. Many some are, but I did my research, learnt everything about him and his disease and I am positively sure he is just a bully that when challenged backs off and simply vanishes into thin air. I went through hell, withdrawal symptoms for a few months, but even so I stood strong and determined and finally I am thriving. No longer going backwards and forward, making friends and losing them due to his crudeness and craziness. As I said, it is hard, but only by ridding myself of him, could I see the light at the end of the tunnel. This has been the most devastating relationship I have been in, incredibly hard to get out of because yes, they are so charming and giving when things are good. But as soon as he fucks up as he invariably he always did, he would blame everything he did on to me and our lives would go backwards, we lost friends. Who wants to live that way? Better to be alone than accept crumbs. Ladies, we deserve more, and it’s up to each one of us to reject the craziness they expect us to and our children to live with in exchange for the bullshit they try to put us through. In the end, is that love? No it’s just a penis that brings us no satisfaction, kindness, support, commitment and trust. Is a penis worth our sanity? The disrespect they show us? The danger they pose to our children’s well being? No – not to me. I know it’s hard to walk away, but I also know it is harder to stay. With these people there is no hope for the future, nothing will every change. Alone things can and will get better as long as we deal with out pain and the hurt positively and NEVER EVER go back to the miserable life they can only offer us. Each one of us deserves to be loved and respected and to accept any less we are allowing them to disrespect us and enjoy the misery they cause people they are supposed to want to care for and love. Ok they may be good-looking, charming and fun, but is that all there is to life and love?

    Reply
  • January 25, 2016 at 9:41 pm

    …ehh, I think I might be a sociopath. But the thing is, the ONE TRAIT I don’t have is the lying. I can’t lie. I don’t know why but deception is just not my thing; I can’t do it, and I don’t know how much longer I can pretend to care anymore. The honesty is killing me because I feel like if I told the truth, that I don’t care, then I’ll be labelled a sociopath and—and then what? Then what happens? Everyone’s afraid of people like us and it makes me afraid of myself, and then I wonder, who’s really deceiving who? Am I trying to convince myself I’m a sociopath when I’m not, or am I trying to pretend to be good when I’m really a sociopath? Where’s the light? Where’s the dark? What disorders do I have? Dammit, I could have a ton of crazy personality and mental disorders and I’ve never known about it my whole life; I’m 16 already.

    Reply
  • January 26, 2016 at 1:37 am

    Terri, best idea is to visit your GP and get a referral to a psychologist under Medibank cover if financial needs be.

    You can then discuss with the appropriate person whether you have a mentally ill family member and how best to deal with that

    Reply
  • January 27, 2016 at 8:50 am

    Great article, from personal experience the odd behaviors of what a sociopathic mother looks like: the nonSP child is ‘never’ allowed to ie/ climb on/touch the SP parent without instant anger, irritation and rejection. The nonSP child becomes extremely needy towards the SP parent, the harder the child trys to bond, the more the SP pushes away..endless cycle. The SP parent repeatedly exaggerates injury or pain caused by the child to the SP parent, such as frustrated child digs her elbows into SP parent to get attention, making the child think she has seriously hurt the SP parent(conditioning?normalizing?). The SP parent, alienates the nonSP parent(projects), by creating negative experiences whenever the nonSP parent is present, sabotaging any positive interaction (bedtimes, meals..) and when the SP parent is not present, the SP will inject her control using scheduling for example, appointments, demands/expectations, obstacles …anything to break and prevent the nonSP parent from having any 1on1 positive time with the child. The SP parent does not see the long term damage they are causing.

    Reply
  • February 11, 2016 at 1:31 am

    I just wanted to say that I have been dosed with clinical psychopathic disorder, and I found this article really hostile. Now before everyone get up in arms about how horrible psychopaths/I am, don’t forget to consider that we are still human beings. If you find out that a peer or loved one is a psychopath, please don’t follow this articles suggestions and avoid them, or put up “walls”.

    Reply
    • April 11, 2016 at 9:33 pm

      I am a Sociopath, I don’t know what level, but I do know that if you don’t want to be manipulated and lied to by me or any other psychopath/sociopath, then yes, you should follow these instructions. I do like to help people, even though I have no ‘inner voice that tells me what is good or bad’. I don’t feel a need to help people, But it is a reason to not kill oneself, so there it is.

      Reply
  • February 14, 2016 at 3:31 am

    i have had some mental issues lately, i searched up and down to find a solution to my “mental issues”, i started with the facts i know, im hard worker, im realistic, tough as nails and loyal to the death (with a 145 IQ)….. was not until i read this article, that i fully understood a sociopath. Ive come to realize, my partner is a sociopath, 110 pound beauty queen (at least to me) whom i refer to as my fantasy women actually has a much more control of my life and emotions that i ever realized. When i got to “Four Steps to Protect Yourself” looking back on past experiences, each of the 4 tactics i have used (not even knowing, just as self defence) and they work like a charm.

    thank you again, i had a great realization reading this article.

    Reply
  • February 16, 2016 at 5:55 pm

    If you even suspect you’re involved with a sociopath RUN. Save yourself and don’t worry about them.

    Reply
  • February 17, 2016 at 12:19 am

    Who is a Sociopath?
    Do you think you don’t know one? Think again.. Well, I love this article and this is a very helpful guide to anyone who thinks he/she might be a victim of a sociopath/psychopath. Check out this article too>> http://bit.ly/Sociopath_411

    Reply
  • February 23, 2016 at 12:12 pm

    “Manipulating them for their own good.” Run, ladies and gentlemen, as fast as you can.

    Please note that sociopathic personalities are not pathological liars. If you are naive, you will be flooded with true statements that you *can* verify along with quite a few lies that (she hopes) you can’t figure out. The rule is: will say anything to support his/her position and manipulate you, whether true or false. EVERYTHING said is calculated to achieve the desired outcome. Whether or not it’s true is irrelevant. A sociopath can speak truth or lies equally confidently and smile convincingly while doing it.

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    • April 11, 2016 at 9:35 pm

      Yup. That pretty much sums it up.

      Reply
  • February 29, 2016 at 11:37 pm

    I wrote a thesis entitled “Lives Unseen: Unacknowledged Trauma of Non-disordered, Competent Adult Children Of Parents with a Severe Mental Illness (ACOPSMI)” addressing their needs across their life span. It has been a ‘wake up’ call to many readers from around the world (See feedback: https://sites.google.com/site/workwithin/home/trauma). It’s easy to read and may help many of the people who wrote comments.

    Here is the direct link to the thesis:
    http://hdl.handle.net/11343/37852

    Reply
  • February 29, 2016 at 11:39 pm

    Hi, sorry… I forgot to tick the box that says I would like to be notified of follow up comments via email. Thanks, Suzette

    Reply
  • March 12, 2016 at 6:24 am

    I’m sorry if this has been addressed herein. Focusing on and having patience with long commentary has been a weakness since my youth. Question: What should I do if I think I may be sociopathic? I’m not trying to kill anyone but don’t care if certain people die. There have been no blatant manifestations but I’m pretty sure my overt apathy for anyone not dependent (completely) on me indicates at least a mild sociopathy. Help me out please. I feel like a complete asshole that cares nothing for anyone.

    Reply
    • April 11, 2016 at 9:29 pm

      Just the fact that you feel like, quote, “an asshole”, makes me think that if you are Sociopathic, you are only very mildly so. the part where you ask for help indicates that you believe that people can or will help you. If you were a severe Sociopath, you would not believe that.

      Reply
  • March 19, 2016 at 5:01 pm

    Psychopaths & sociopaths are very similar. The only obvious difference seems to be one of spontonaity. Sociopaths are more spontaneous than psychopaths. The labels Psychopaths & Sociopaths tend to be used interchangeably. Both are unable to internalise or ‘feel’ emotions due to a dysfunction in the part of the brain responsible for processing emotions (in the amagdyla), which is redundant – but seems to be compensated by the ability to manipulate others. Psychopaths & sociopaths are not all criminal. Some lead parasitic lifestyles, though many have very respectable careers. They account for approx 1% of the population.

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  • April 10, 2016 at 2:07 am

    My father is one……… So am I.
    I tend to stay away from people becuase my incapibility to understand why they are upset just makes everything worse. I hurt people and don’t relize it…. When my closest “friends” die I don’t feel sadness….. It makes people afraid…. So I stay away. I left the only person who cared about me (my mother) when I was 14… She just didnt understand

    Reply
    • April 11, 2016 at 9:24 pm

      I feel the same way. I don’t actually care when things happen, and that tends to scare people for some reason. except, No one I know feels the same way, or, more likely, they haven’t revealed it. Some people think I am self-centered, but I am not. I don’t care about myself just as much as I don’t care about anyone else. When I was younger, I hadn’t learned to hide it, or that I should hide it, and when my family pet was hit by a car, I asked my Dad if we could dissect it to see what it’s organ systems were like when it bit the dust (or should I say, bit the rubber, Ha!) and he seemed shocked and horrified. everyone else in my immediate family was very saddened by the dog’s death, and I was very confused. I asked my sister why she was crying right after it died, and she gave me a look that I couldn’t decipher, then she said it was because the dog (I can’t remember it’s name) died. I said, ‘So? it was just a dog.’ and she burst into tears and cried even harder. Don’t worry about what they think. remember, they don’t matter anyway.

      Reply
  • April 11, 2016 at 9:16 pm

    I believe I am a Sociopath. I mainly believe this because I don’t really care about anything anyone says. I pretend that I do, and I pretend very well, because I have self-described ‘friends’. I don’t actually need them, or anyone. Many times people have told me that I am antisocial, so for the next year after they tell me that, I act like I truly care, I go to social events and other things like that, until I finally lapse back into my true self. People tell me that everyone needs company, but I really don’t. I know what you are thinking right now. you are thinking, ‘He might not know it, but he actually does need people.’ I legitimately do NOT need anyone, and I would be much better off if I never saw anyone I knew again. If I killed– wait, no, I can’t say that, but the point is that I don’t want or need you. The only reason I am posting this is to seem like I am involved with some kind of social media to my parents.

    Reply
  • April 20, 2016 at 10:04 pm

    I agree with this article but…what if my younger brother is a socio/psychopath? He enjoys telling me in great detail how he’s going to take over the world, then have me gruesomely executed in various ways. Now in and of itself, this isn’t enough to get to me. After all, I’ve made it 15 years with this kid, and I’m not dead yet, by his or my own hand. But in addition to 9 straight years of bullying (and my parents saying it was ‘only teasing, and why don’t you grow a thicker skin already) at school, at the same time, it nearly became too much. I just want to know what to do, if not because my brother is a socio- and/or psychopath heck-bent on world domination and the end of democracy, then because my brother hates me for no reason and if I’m stuck here much longer I might just end it all.

    Reply
    • August 30, 2016 at 5:12 am

      Sounds like your brother isn’t the ONLY psycho in the house. I’d go to your school psychologist and tell him/her all this and see if you can get your PARENTS checked out as WELL.

      Reply
  • May 5, 2016 at 10:45 am

    im scared im a sociopath. what if im faking these emotions? i am one of the least popular guys at my high school, and have been very emotionlelly wrecked for a long time. i dont think i have guilt now and am scared i dont love my family, friends, and girlfriend!

    Reply
    • May 17, 2016 at 9:31 pm

      Hey, hey, dude. You’re afraid of not having emotions, right? Well that’s one right there! Sure, it’s not the happiest feeling to have, but it’s something to build up from. I’m no psychologist, but if you’re able to feel fear for losing emotions, you should be able to uncover/recover those feelings. Just don’t flip out and you should be fine. If you need anybody to talk to, I’m here. Sort of a “look neither of us knows the other but we’re okay with unloading on each other” kind of thing.

      It’s open if you need it. I hope you’re okay.

      Reply
    • May 18, 2016 at 12:20 am

      You talk about what you don’t have, but you do have awareness, which is HUGE. Just as Knowledge is power, so awareness is starting block to insight. Insight is important for your happiness and quality of life, to work out who/what’s important to you in life.. Then you can research how to identify your concerns and how YOU can achieve YOUR goals and what’s important to you in life, despite any personal limitations.
      Do this for yourself if no-one else..It doesn’t work for long to live life pretending to be someone you’re not. in regard to feeling emotions.

      Reply
  • June 14, 2016 at 9:13 pm

    I think a good way to conceptualize it is that there is sociopathic behavior arising from many deficiencies. Narcissism (an entitlement to be sociopathic, perhaps from either never having learned empathy or from fantasy, a distortion of boundaries); from Borderline or a paranoid disorders (a desperate need for control or attention) or from Antisocial personality disorder itself, the true sociopath, (conscience missing, inability to empathize, perhaps due to of a brain defect). For APD there is also a lower reaction to fear and a need for stimulation, dangerous activities, they bore easily. All have a deficient level of guilt, either from their distorted reality or they are just physically unable to empathize. All dangerous, they need to be mentally labeled and boundaries maintained to remind one that they are not dealing with an ordinary person.

    Reply
  • June 21, 2016 at 1:12 am

    Honestly, children are too weak for me to attack. I prefer someone who can put up a fight because it’s more of a challenge. I actually enjoy kids. They’re energetic and it’s easier to be myself and not put on a mask. I would raise my kid(s) the complete opposite of what my parents did. (They were abusive alcoholics) Hey, I can always fake emotions. I do it all the time. I’d take an interest in what they did at school and take them to the park.

    Kids are cool to be honest. They’re the only people I take interest in, besides my boyfriend.

    So, not all sociopaths are abusive people. But, of course, there’s many.

    Reply
  • June 22, 2016 at 5:32 pm

    I’ve never been able to figure out my husband’s behaviour however, after reading this article he ticks ALL the boxes and fits the bill. So, I now know!

    Reply
  • July 1, 2016 at 6:42 am

    my dad is a psychopath and he troubles us all the time, he acts like a normal parson in front of others but in real he beats my mom and threatens us all the time. My mom on other hand is quite all the time even if i tell her to speak against it. he forces my mom on to his expensive expenses and we are almost broke. I don’t know what to do , sometimes i just wanna call child services but then we are scared about the society and how they are going to react. I just hope someday i wee up to seeing a totally different life where my family is happy and my dad is no more a madman.

    Reply
    • July 4, 2016 at 10:50 am

      Well done on taking steps to get help for your family! I admire your courage.
      Have you tried talking to some one you feel safe with? Someone who can help you think what steps to take while also navigating the procedures and laws for your area?
      Maybe an older person if you’re young, someone like a teacher or doctor who knows how to approach tasks with care.

      Depending on your age and area, the may be a youth/children’s contact number..Try to research information and links that you can use to decide how you want to proceed.. in a way that you feel comfortable with.

      Its good to have a support group so you don’t feel like you’re going alone in difficult situations.
      This site can be part of your support group too😊.

      Most important of all, if you ask someone and they don’t help or don’t believe, keep looking, till you find someone else who will. Don’t give up just cause you asked the wrong person.
      All the best and be brave!

      Reply
  • July 3, 2016 at 3:59 pm

    Any advice on trying to co-parent with a sociopath? He doesn’t show love for his kids unless he can use you for something i.e. sex, money, nice home, good credit etc. Once he figure out he can no longer use you or find someone to use in your place he moves on with no regard for the kids. If he can’t manipulate you with his lies then he is not interested in co-parenting. He wants me to dumb myself down like his other kids mom. He says I act too grown. They believe more of his lies and they do whatever he says. So in turn he favors those children and take out time for them. He has excuses when it comes to my kids. Im busy, I’m dealing with problems right now, its you, etc. Yet he has time to drive across the country with his other kids. He can attend concerts etc, but too busy to see his kids in the same city. Funny thing is when we are on speakimg terms and having sex he is there for the kids. As soon as the sex ends the excuses start up!! Its a cylce of being in and out of their lives. Its not fair to the kids but he doesn’t care. Everything is my fault. I feel terrible for having kids with him and ruining my kids lives. My son left a message begging him to call. He has yet to call back. He didn’t call or see them on fathers day. He is a sick individual.

    Reply
  • July 16, 2016 at 3:54 am

    because of my mother’s actions I went on to marry a sociopath who hurt animals as well as people he put bleach in y tea fibre glass in my sandwiches threw things at me and a he’ll of a lot more I eventually escaped in 2000 with my child and it was the best thing we ever did please be careful these can and are dangerous people thing is since councillors I can spot one a mile off take care everyone and to front reading this

    Reply
  • September 20, 2016 at 11:24 pm

    Years ago, the US Navy diagnosed me with a lot, including Severe Antisocial Personality Disorder. I was also diagnosed as a sociopath. I still don’t know what love is. I recently went for help to a psychologist. The end result of that about a week later, I told my boss that my doctor was going to call. She asked me to. He jumped to conclusions and fired me for drug use. I was supposed to have an assessment done. I have lost everything due to this. I went to my management for help and lost my license, my job, my insurance, any type of treatment I might be able to get, my utilities, and now the house is in foreclosure.
    Don’t paint us all with the same brush. I now have a history of substance abuse(Crystal Meth) and wasn’t on drugs. Fired without a drug test. I have lost my career over this. This is the second time I have asked for help. My childhood creates these problems. Emotional neglect, physical abuse, mental abuse, and years of sexual abuse by another man in the family. I don’t think I am dangerous by anyone’s standards. I just want to be loved and be able to get on with life.
    Don’t always blame the person for how they are. It could have been caused. Don’t always jump to conclusions about someone because they have been diagnosed with a disorder. It might mean the difference in life or death with that person. I would rather my parents had an abortion than to tell me I was an accident. I wish most days I was never even born. But still life goes on. I try to make the best of it regardless of how the cards are dealt. Give or get that person the help they need. I wish I could get the treatment I need instead of my family turning their collective back on me yet again, just for asking for help.

    Reply
  • September 20, 2016 at 11:27 pm

    I wish this article explained how there really is no solid clinical category as a “sociopath” or “psychopath”, and that antisocial personality disorder, as well as other personality disorders (narcissistic and the like) present a lack of empathy and propensity for manipulation.

    Reply
  • October 28, 2016 at 8:41 pm

    I have just put it together that my daughter-in-law is a sociopath. I’ve known that she had a problem with telling the truth and met a few other of the “Seven signs of a sociopath”, but I saw her true colors recently and I’m terribly saddened for my two grandchildren and my son. She doesn’t work outside the home and barely cares for the kids, putting a huge burden on my son. She really got her hooks into me on my last visit (we live in different states). If there were no children involved, I would wash my hands of her, but how can I help support the kids? I want to make sure they grow up loved and encouraged.

    Reply
  • May 13, 2017 at 6:04 pm

    Emotionally beat down…….,,,.,…,,,controlling,getting worse now that he doesn’t have my Mom to control anymore !!

    Reply
  • July 14, 2017 at 7:59 am

    I always understood that my mom was not like regular moms.. but i came to understand much better who she is when my dad got sick…. and unfortunatly more when he left me alone with her…. My mother has done everything to isolate my siblings from each other and deny the inheritance that I am legally entiled to.

    She has tried to accuse me of trying to take what is not mine, blame me for not caring for my father, blamed me for not sharing my father with my siblings… My mother left my dad 7 years ago and when he got sick with cancer I wanted to do everything I could to help my dad.

    My mother has lied to relatives about my dad and I, pretending she was there.. they learned at his ceremony that she wasnt involved and that she is just after thewhat she can take.. and to keep hurting me in the process.

    I am trying to cope with this and move forward.. trying to prepare for the day that I am make sure she is no longer in my life.

    Anyone that can offer me advice I would need it

    Reply
  • October 3, 2017 at 6:39 am

    I realized several years ago that my older sister is a sociopath, likely her youngest daughter is also but because our relationship broke down years ago I have not really been a part of my nieces lives. My sister pretty much checks all the boxes. Very physically abusive to me when I was young and smaller than her, I never got protection from her from my parents, she will lie or distort the truth or say whatever she needs to to get what she wants, she is cold and distant from her kids and they are always trying to get her approval, I could go on and on. I just wanted to say that a sociopath in your life pretty much ruins your life. My sister is manipulative, charming, funny, she frantically ‘saves’ people then discards them, she has broken up several marriages , she preys on weaker people, swoops into their life’s, makes them dependant on her then drops them, one of her daughters has stress and anxiety attacks and is sometimes on medication for them, this daughter also has very low self esteem and self confidence because her mom is always belittling her. The daughter is always trying to get her mother’s approval even as her mom cuts her down. My sister used to use her daughters to control my parents, their grandparents. If they didn’t tow the line they couldn’t see their grand kids. I suffer from depression because I have been expelled from the family because I won’t let her control me and my parents would never support me. They would say “just do what she says!” My husband finally went to them and said “you know you have two daughters!” And they just kind of looked at the ground. My sister will say anything, twist truths and outright lie to get what she wants from people. She has gone through three husbands and is not in a relationship now. The other weird thing is she will suddenly become friends with a friend or acquaintance of mine. I avoid anyone who knows her yet she is suddenly new best friend with people I know! My husband says ‘she stalks your friends’. The weaker types fall for her but others just call and tell me how shocked they are. It seems as much as I try to avoid her she still keeps tabs on me like she can’t let go. I have some relationship with my youngest niece but she just sabatoged that again. I have wonderful friends and relationships with other people but I have spent most of my adult life devastated by her tactics to try and control me and try to ruin my relationships, especially with my husband. Just found out we aren’t invited to this nieces wedding because ‘it would be too awkward for the family’. Well, there is no family going accept my other niece and her mother because my sister has alienated the girls’ father, half sister, aunts, uncles, cousins. They have no relationship with their dad, he wasn’t fa ther of the year but there are a lot worse. Anyways, having a tough go right now, just needed a sympathetic place to put down my thoughts.

    Reply
  • January 24, 2018 at 10:46 am

    Disabling is one trait that I’ve found that is rarely mentioned. Normal instincts to start and be a providing member were met with an attempt to crush that. When I started to attempt to relate in an adult matter to work things out, I found that I would hold my end up but that was always not reciprocated.

    Reply
  • June 25, 2018 at 10:04 am

    My mother is a textbook Sociopath. Growing up she always told me how ugly and incompetent I was and it destroyed my soul. I was so terrified of her that I began stuttering. My dad left when I was a baby, guess he was sick of her. I always thought something was wrong with me. When neighbors or relatives visited us, she would put on her charm, act so nice towards them and once they would leave, she would start making fun of them, criticizing them. She would use her divorce for gaining empathy points with everyone. Spend all day at church so people would think what a wonderful woman she is. But at home she was a monster. She even emotionally damaged her mother. My grandmother was so afraid of her that she would do everything my mom asked just to stop her from yelling and calling her names and then she would go telling everybody how dependent her mom was on her and what a wonderful daughter she was. When I was fifteen, I was sexually assaulted and when I told my mother, she ignored me first and then told me to stop whining and feel lucky that at least someone wanted to touch me. That’s when I knew I had to get out. Living with her was like living in a horror movie! I finally started college and moved out of state and then out of the country for my job. It was the best decision ever. She still calls me all the time, writes emotional emails. She insists on spending time with my daughter but I’m trying so hard not to fall for it. My husband is wonderful and supportive. Although I am in a really good place now, my mother did some serious damage. I still stutter when I think or talk about her. I get nightmares. I hope someday I will be over it.

    Reply
  • June 27, 2018 at 10:54 pm

    Thank you for sharing… I am amazed at the painful experiences many people have gone through and somehow survived. I wrote some short articles that might help perhaps understand some of the dreadful traumatic things that happened. See: https://medium.com/@suzette.misrachi
    Here also is a resource website many found useful. Scroll down to click on some quick one-page tip sheets: https://sites.google.com/site/workwithin/survivingparentswithmentalillness
    I wish all those who have suffered, and who might still be suffering, great strength and a better future ahead.

    Reply
  • October 4, 2018 at 12:54 pm

    I’m 52 & have only very recently concluded that my mother is a Sociopath. Now I am beginning to understand why I am like I am. Not a sociopath but a giver of too much, unloveable, useless etc etc. All of the risky situations that my mother either ignored or encouraged, I now understand why…..My daughter of 20 was diagnosed with autism at around 3 years old. I can’t lie and pretend that bringing her up was easy because it was not. Some of the difficulty was caused by the so called ‘Support’ services, some by her behaviour. She left home for the 3rd time in 10 months only recently. She has estranged me. I strongly suspect that she may have sociopathic tendencies too. She lies and she had told people in authority on 2 occasions that I am an alcohol, which I am not and have proven. I always knew that she was very clever and manipulative from a very young age. I’m not saying that my thoughts are correct. It’s just new thoughts and I wonder if Sociopathy is genetic. As a veteran, I’ve found the strength to reach out and am being offered help. I am being advised to be selfish. I now need to focus on me. I put my life in 3 stages to date. 1. A daughter of a Sociopath. 2. A soldier 3. A Carer. Now is the time to find the real ‘ME’. I’ve got as long as I have left in life to live life for ‘ME’. It’s going to be really hard work because it goes against the grain but I’m willing to put the effort in. I’m very grateful for the support that is being offered. Lesson 1 for myself: Learn to accept help X

    Reply
 

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