3 thoughts on “9 Steps to Reach Your Emotionally Neglected Spouse

  • March 31, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    I am in is situation right now. It’s as if this article was written for me. I am going to look at the website, and possibly get that book. Maybe I can read it to my husband, he doesn’t read anything at all. I also grew up in an emotionally defective, and deficient household, and I am in a recovery program for that. This is why it is so hard right now to be with a person who grew up in a physically abusive and emotionally neglectful family. Thank you for reading my mind

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  • September 11, 2018 at 1:12 pm

    My wife and I both suffer from CEN. She was an only child in a home with an alcoholic father who beat her, and a mother who killed herself when she was a little girl. My dad was also a raging alcoholic with a codependant wife who emotionally incested me. I was also sexually abused by a male neighbour as a young boy. We have been married for 23 years, all of it without any emotional intimacy. We are both terrified of our own feelings, never mind each others. We have not had any sexual intimacy nor physical affection in over 20 years (massive sexual inhibitions on both our parts). We have never felt love for each other and married out of convenience. Our entire marriage we have lived as de facto roommates. Now that we are both in our 60’s, we lack the strength to continuously suppress our feelings full time, hence the contempt we feel for each other due to years of resentments turned anger turned bitterness turned contempt is coming out in hurtful words. We cannot divorce as we would be excommunicated from the church. We live in a rural area where no therapists are available, nor could we afford one if there were any. We have very slow satellite internet so Skype therapy is not even an option. We have read several self help books, including your two on CEN, but the exercises are too terrifying for us to do. Do you have any advice for us?

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  • May 15, 2019 at 12:38 am

    Please write an article that can be sent as an opening conversation. Hearing this from a spouse who has spent years being neglected likely won’t be heard.

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