14 thoughts on “5 Reasons You Compare Yourself to Others. And How to Stop It

  • May 28, 2019 at 5:14 am

    Very informative keep up the good work.

    Reply
    • May 28, 2019 at 7:54 am

      I’m glad you find this helpful Abdul. Thank you!

      Reply
  • May 29, 2019 at 8:09 am

    I deal with Bi-Polar…when I am in a down depressed phase, I find myself comparing to others much more and deciding they are generally better off than me for whatever reason. Conversely, when I am in an up phase, I seldom compare to others and have full confidence in all I do ahd focus upon me and my goals instead of comparing to others,

    Reply
    • May 29, 2019 at 9:42 am

      Dear David, it’s very good that you’re aware of when you are making comparisons. You can clearly see that it’s doing you damage. I hope you’ll take the steps in the article to get this under your control. Best wishes to you!

      Reply
  • May 29, 2019 at 8:17 am

    I love this article, thank you! You are a very good writer and bring across your points very well. I appreciate the analogy to a mosaic 🙂

    Reply
    • May 29, 2019 at 9:42 am

      Thank you Dee. I’m so glad it’s helpful!

      Reply
  • May 29, 2019 at 12:18 pm

    I feel that in my case the process of compering myself to others has gotten worse with menopause. Now I am afraid that is becoming chronic…

    Does compering yourself to others erode your ability to make decisions?

    I have important life changing decisions to make and I feel that my brain is “paralyzed”. Since last August I haven’t made any progress in figuring out what to do when an important deadline will “hit” me in a couple of months.

    I am seeing a therapist and I don’t take medications. I have been listening to self-development podcasts/videos but so far I haven’t found one that’s meaningful to me.

    Reply
    • May 29, 2019 at 12:26 pm

      Dear Sunlizard, I would guess that, in terms of making decisions, perhaps you are too focused on other people and not enough on yourself. You can correct this by making a committed effort to paying attention to your own wants, feelings and needs. This is a major part of the recovery process from Childhood Emotional Neglect or CEN.

      Reply
  • May 29, 2019 at 3:57 pm

    Very insightful. I am 61, middle sister of three, with an oldest brother. Third child, and i have had very low self esteem all my life. Broke my two front teeth in 2nd grade, and didnt get them fixed until my early 20s. Cystic acne, glasses, i always felt dirty, and my self esteem just got lower.
    Many, many mistakes later, i am alone, never married, and dealing with ALOT of guilt, remorse, etc, and, after being on Facebook, started comparing myself mercilessly. Getting off of FB was a huge, great step for me.
    Thanks for this article. Keep ’em coming!
    peace

    Reply
    • May 29, 2019 at 4:39 pm

      Dear Carey, Facebook is indeed a hotbed of damaging comparisons. I’m glad you got out of it. Now focus on yourself and giving yourself what you didn’t get as a child.

      Reply
  • June 1, 2019 at 12:11 pm

    That’s a really good article. I’m a recovering addict, and it’s just since I quit drugs I’m unable to control the comparison with other people, I’m too far behind almost everyone in every aspect of life… I’ll try the techniques you explained hoping for some peace. and thank you for the article.

    Reply
    • June 1, 2019 at 5:56 pm

      Dear Mohamed, it often happens that addicts end up behind on many things. You’ll catch up now that you’re sober. Thanks for your comment!

      Reply
  • June 2, 2019 at 7:27 pm

    As usual, this article is right on time! I’m seeing that I use comparison as a way to cop out of doing things I find difficult! It’s insidious and self-harming.
    “Why bother, you’ll never succeed like _____ has.” Oy.

    Reply
  • June 21, 2019 at 7:16 am

    Good info! Did you intend to write, “big talent, small flaws?”

    Reply
 

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