11 thoughts on “3 Ways Childhood Emotional Neglect Sets You Up For Adult Emotional Neglect

  • January 27, 2019 at 3:28 pm

    I suspect there are inherent differences in the in the outcome of a child pertaining to the varrying degrees of emotional neglect.
    My question is, there seems to be a gap in the variations of neglect… Notably ~ the Deeper versions of neglect coinciding with the damage created at the hand of someone deriving pleasure from the cruelness to wich they can inflict on others.
    Is there a category of information available here for understanding the affects molded into someone’s soul in these circumstances?
    P. S.
    To explain it in simpler terminology…
    The aftermath of being raised by someone who actively looks for and seeks out any oppertunity to hurt, mislead, damage, or shatter another human being, be it internally or externally.
    Thank you for your incredible work. You are a true Hero.

    • January 27, 2019 at 4:07 pm

      Dear Dave, the type of CEN you describe does fall into a special category. The parent who uses neglect and abusive treatment to hurt the child for his/her own pleasure is, in my opinion, a sociopath. I’ve written a couple of blogs about the sociopathic parent, and also there is a section about these types of parents in each of my books. It is indeed the worst kind of gaslighting a child can receive. Thank you for calling attention to this special problem.

  • January 27, 2019 at 4:40 pm

    That is how it is with my older brother any thing with somthing happy I have done or an opinion I have are quickly shot down.

    • January 27, 2019 at 7:09 pm

      I’m sorry to hear that Jeff. Maybe you could get your brother to read some information about CEN.

  • January 27, 2019 at 11:59 pm

    When I was growing up, if I ever expressed how I felt, I’d be told, “Don’t feel that way.” So I kept all my feelings and observations to myself. It’s difficult to break that habit.

    • January 28, 2019 at 8:28 am

      Dear Beth, yes for sure. It is hard to break. But it’s so important to break that. It will hold you back in your life in many crucial ways.

  • January 29, 2019 at 4:56 am

    Thank you for your articles on CEN. Four years ago my father died and the grief broke through an emotional numbness I had been hearing about from my therapist but didn’t understand until the grief. My therapist has been my psychiatrist for 18 years and is awesome…he is 78 and through transference I have come to see him as a father figure. We have been working these 4 years and I can now identify my feelings and discuss them with him. My husband also grew up with CEN and with my therapist’s help I have come to see the emotional and verbal abuse and emotional incest of my childhood. But our therapeutic relationship is teaching me what a healthy relationship can be like and I actually feel safe with him. So far my husband has refused therapy despite CEN and emotional incest in his family. Hoping to repair communication, intimacy and sexual issues in the work to come. CEN articles helped at the start of this journey.

    • January 29, 2019 at 7:57 am

      Good for you for doing the work PJ! I know it’s hard, but it sounds like you have a great therapist. Keep it up!

  • January 30, 2019 at 1:44 pm

    A colleague and myself have ID five psychosocial environments: enriched, functional, sterile, dysfunctional, and toxic. They are directly connected to the following attachment subtypes:
    very secure, secure, insecure-ambivalent, insecure-avoidant, disorganized and rage-aggressive.
    Thank you for this pertinent article. As a psychotherapist I treat folks primarily in the latter two.
    Rich, MSW

    • January 30, 2019 at 2:46 pm

      Very interesting Rich! Thanks for sharing that.

  • February 4, 2019 at 6:14 pm

    Thank you for your comparisons…that helps! Emotional neglect seems so harmless until you realize you are living behind the shadows of your childhood still. You can’t fully enjoy things like birthdays, anniversaries, things that most people look forward too as life’s most valuable life events. I feel boring sometimes or discontent/”lacking” when I actually am learning to have emotions as I identify why I am this way. Thank you for your research in this area. This is very helpful!


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