4 thoughts on “Invisible You

  • January 2, 2015 at 3:29 pm

    I was with you until you said to use our feelings as a magnetic field that draws people in. Feelings having magnetic power? Like people have sensors inside that are irresistibly drawn to vivid feelings in someone else? and people without vivid feelings aren’t activating these magnetic sensors in others? Sounds like hocus pocus, because my vivid feelings as a kid sure didn’t activate sensors in my mother or father. Presuming they too were people LOL, were they handicapped, missing feeling sensors like some people are born missing visual sensors? As one who has felt invisible to others, whose feelings are nearly invisible to myself today, this premise and easy solution of yours is too good to be true. If it IS true, then this is an incredibly compelling reason for me to make every effort to feel my feelings as vividly as possible. I’d love to hear back from you.

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    • January 4, 2015 at 7:28 pm

      Hi FLo, I think your parents didn’t have sensors because they were raised by parents who didn’t have sensors, and so on up through generations. When our parents ignore our feelings, we push them down and ignore our feelings too. Eventually, we become numb, and it renders us invisible to ourselves and others. Emotion is the spice of life, the glue that binds people and the driver for movement and change. I urge you to do the work to welcome your emotions back. You deserve to have them. All the best.

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      • January 6, 2015 at 10:13 am

        Yes, I remember deliberately shutting down my sensors as a child in the absence of feeling felt in a tender manner. The deprivation of tenderness goes back generations. My mother must have felt invisible, too! Now I understand this deprivation is no reflection of my value any more than it was a reflection of my mother’s value. Numbness just creates a lot of collateral damage. I am now gently steering myself past numbness into feeling, using tenderness not shame as my guide. Thank you for replying.

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  • October 28, 2015 at 12:27 pm

    Wow, I have lived being ‘invisible’ for most of my life, sometimes it is so obvious it would be funny if it wasn’t so hurtful. It has a profound impact on my ability to feel I can have any control, and I am rendered powerless to make any decisions or make actions that will just be ignored. I understand the person to person dynamic, but wonder how it works indirectly…such as emails ignored, referrals lost, appointments not kept, etc. I have been trying to access help with an abusive partner and severe depression but its like trying to catch a pond of serenity in a raging river. Calls go unanswered, messages not returned, and agencies I manage to ‘catch’ enthusiastically promise resources and intervention, but never heard from again. Its like I manage to ‘appear’ briefly on their radar, but then I am forgotten and I don’t exist anymore. I have always felt I didn’t belong here in this world, and for the most part, the world is telling me I am right. Is this a self fulfilling prophecy? It is so disheartening and disempowering to gather the strength to be heard, only to be met with silence.

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