7 thoughts on “The Elephant In The Room On Mother’s Day: Childhood Emotional Neglect

  • May 11, 2018 at 9:16 pm

    Hi Dr. Webb! First I would like to say that I truly enjoyed this article, and know it will resonate with so many.
    I would also like to point out that I believe you meant D.W. or Donald Winnicott, not James, in the sixth paragraph.

    • May 11, 2018 at 9:20 pm

      Thank you Anna! Very true. I stand corrected.

  • May 11, 2018 at 10:22 pm

    I dread buying a card for my mom on mother’s day or her birthday. I want to throw up reading the sentiments in most cards because what they read couldn’t be further from the truth. I actively search for the “simply stated” category.

    My mom may have tried but failed miserably. I’d rather not have to even acknowledge Mother’s Day!

    • May 12, 2018 at 12:28 pm

      Dear Karen, many who read your comment will understand fully. Be sure to follow the suggestions in the article on Mother’s Day. Warmest wishes to you.

  • May 14, 2018 at 12:10 pm

    My mother has NPD with sociopathic tendencies. We have now been No Contact for two years come fall.

    Mother’s Day was much better tor me this year.

    First, I didn’t go anywhere near Facebook! Seeing everyone’s sticky sweet my-mom-the-saint memes and messages (whether true or not!) can spiral your mood into the toliet fast.

    Second, I thought with gratitude about those wonderful women in my life who provide mother-energy when needed. I am rich! I am careful to let them know how much they mean throughout the year so as not to infringe on their biological children on holidays.

    Third, I took the suggestion to honor myself! I have been learning Self-Compassion and decided that I deserved a little something for all my hard work! This also got me thinking about how many ways I had comforted, encouraged, and cared for myself as best I could as a child. That kid deserved a medal!

    Seeing myself that way and giving myself credit for all I did for myself made thisMother’s Day a very different proposition indeed!

    • May 14, 2018 at 12:55 pm

      Excellent Anya! thank you for sharing your coping techniques with us. I hope that many will be inspired to do the same for themselves.

  • July 19, 2018 at 3:10 pm

    I always seem to be attracted to older females that are attentive and strong and I cling on to them. Characteristics which my mother did not have. I obsess over having their attention. How do I handle this? I feel like I was starved from receiving love and attention from her and I understand the psychological implications. How when a girl does not have a mirror so to speak from the mother held back, it can affect the girl. I am fully aware that I withdrew personally age 4 or 5 from my mom and knew not to expect emotional presence.
    I hope one day you can write an article specifically for this daughter and mother issue I am talking about. It is so unhealthy for me to quickly get emotionally invested and fixated in some women (teachers mostly)… Will I ever have a mother substitute? Should I reject the notion of having a mother substitute?

    There was a YouTube video by some therapist on this issue and the comment section had an overwhelming response of girls that related to being attracted to motherly figures.


Join the Conversation!

We invite you to share your thoughts and tell us what you think in this public forum. Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines. A first name or pseudonym is required and will be displayed with your comment. Your email address is also required, but will be kept private. (Please note that we use gravatars here, which are tied to your email address.) A website/blog/twitter address is optional.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *