7 thoughts on “The Elephant In The Room On Mother’s Day: Childhood Emotional Neglect

  • May 11, 2018 at 9:16 pm

    Hi Dr. Webb! First I would like to say that I truly enjoyed this article, and know it will resonate with so many.
    I would also like to point out that I believe you meant D.W. or Donald Winnicott, not James, in the sixth paragraph.

    Reply
    • May 11, 2018 at 9:20 pm

      Thank you Anna! Very true. I stand corrected.

      Reply
  • May 11, 2018 at 10:22 pm

    I dread buying a card for my mom on mother’s day or her birthday. I want to throw up reading the sentiments in most cards because what they read couldn’t be further from the truth. I actively search for the “simply stated” category.

    My mom may have tried but failed miserably. I’d rather not have to even acknowledge Mother’s Day!

    Reply
    • May 12, 2018 at 12:28 pm

      Dear Karen, many who read your comment will understand fully. Be sure to follow the suggestions in the article on Mother’s Day. Warmest wishes to you.

      Reply
  • May 14, 2018 at 12:10 pm

    My mother has NPD with sociopathic tendencies. We have now been No Contact for two years come fall.

    Mother’s Day was much better tor me this year.

    First, I didn’t go anywhere near Facebook! Seeing everyone’s sticky sweet my-mom-the-saint memes and messages (whether true or not!) can spiral your mood into the toliet fast.

    Second, I thought with gratitude about those wonderful women in my life who provide mother-energy when needed. I am rich! I am careful to let them know how much they mean throughout the year so as not to infringe on their biological children on holidays.

    Third, I took the suggestion to honor myself! I have been learning Self-Compassion and decided that I deserved a little something for all my hard work! This also got me thinking about how many ways I had comforted, encouraged, and cared for myself as best I could as a child. That kid deserved a medal!

    Seeing myself that way and giving myself credit for all I did for myself made thisMother’s Day a very different proposition indeed!

    Reply
    • May 14, 2018 at 12:55 pm

      Excellent Anya! thank you for sharing your coping techniques with us. I hope that many will be inspired to do the same for themselves.

      Reply
  • July 19, 2018 at 3:10 pm

    I always seem to be attracted to older females that are attentive and strong and I cling on to them. Characteristics which my mother did not have. I obsess over having their attention. How do I handle this? I feel like I was starved from receiving love and attention from her and I understand the psychological implications. How when a girl does not have a mirror so to speak from the mother held back, it can affect the girl. I am fully aware that I withdrew personally age 4 or 5 from my mom and knew not to expect emotional presence.
    I hope one day you can write an article specifically for this daughter and mother issue I am talking about. It is so unhealthy for me to quickly get emotionally invested and fixated in some women (teachers mostly)… Will I ever have a mother substitute? Should I reject the notion of having a mother substitute?

    There was a YouTube video by some therapist on this issue and the comment section had an overwhelming response of girls that related to being attracted to motherly figures.

    Reply
 

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