13 thoughts on “Negative Thoughts: 3 Causes, 7 Solutions

  • September 18, 2016 at 12:33 pm

    This is such a helpful article today. “You are the commander of your thoughts, not the other way around”! I placed it on my calendar so I see it every day to remind myself ‘it’s me who is in charge of my thoughts’ and I’m not a victim of a myriad of people’s off the cuff remarks about me imagined or real.

    I have the book Running on Empty and will begin it this week. Thank you for the recommendation on the other book Says Who. What perfect titles.

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  • September 18, 2016 at 1:31 pm

    Thank you for this article. I also have written down all 7 solutions. If you use them enough, will the comments stop? Do I care too much about what other people think of me because I don’t know what to think of myself? Is that why I immediately agree with what others say even if later I realize I really disagree? Thanks again, it is appreciated.

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    • September 18, 2016 at 7:36 pm

      That’s interesting, Nancy. I’ve had people (mostly coworkers) say or assume things about me that are totally untrue. On some level I feel I need to take note of it, just in case it IS true. I hate that this happens! I would NEVER intentionally do anything negative towards anyone, yet I get the backlash over and over in my life…

      Reply
  • September 18, 2016 at 2:52 pm

    Allowing negative thoughts to control can cause you to not seek care for ongoing health issues (in my case) and I realized how much I do not fight for and address my needs. Negative thoughts crowd your mind and divert you from truly valuing yourself. Good article and “Running On Empty” is one of the best resources about these issues

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  • September 18, 2016 at 2:52 pm

    I always share your articles and find them very valuable to my own mission of growth. Thank you!

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    • September 18, 2016 at 3:40 pm

      Thanks for sharing my articles Foot looser! You’re helping to spread the word about CEN.

      Reply
  • September 18, 2016 at 11:09 pm

    I have read all of the suggestions on how to change mz thoughts. They are woefully incomplete. None of them says HOW to change my thoughts. My thoughts have been proven correct, especially the ones about being lazy and unathletic. I decided that I must have Chronic Fatigue or something like that, and I cannot get away from that since I do always feel tired and listless. Quite often I am physically weak, and have recently been diagnosed with Primary Autonomic Failure, which may play into that. How do I change my thoughts, and how do I change my negative self esteem? Those snap suggestion are worth nothing!!!!!

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    • September 21, 2016 at 12:01 pm

      In my personal experience, when I think negative, I get negative. Try and start thinking of positive things in your life, it’s amazing what will happen. I too, thought of myself as always “unathletic”. I found something that I enjoyed (cycling in my case), and made myself small goals. Once I achieved those, I made slightly larger goals and so on. Eventually, I ended up being able to keep pace with the 20 and 30 year olds–and I was in my 40’s. I realized (when I looked back) I was my own worst enemy.

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      • September 25, 2016 at 1:06 pm

        Thank you for sharing your idea on how to implement this idea. It’s useful to read your example.

        Reply
  • September 19, 2016 at 8:03 am

    My mother poured out negative comments without regard for how her criticism might affect me. “You can’t carry a tune.” “I don’t like your drawings.” My house was built by Habitat for Humanity, an organization they’ve always supported. But when my father found out that this project was for my family, she made sure I knew that he’d nearly decided not to work on it. I didn’t “work to my potential” in school (but graduated with a B average, in the top 10% of my class). I had a constant nagging feeling that I was supposed to be amazing, and they tried to make the best of parenting such a disappointment.

    I have grandkids now. I make sure they know how happy I am to see them and how excited I am about their accomplishments. Their parents do a much better job than mine did; I’m happy for them, but I can’t help feeling a little bit sorry for myself.

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  • September 21, 2016 at 5:01 pm

    As a one time REBT therapist I would help people in ways similar to this ‘dispute’ their unhelpful beliefs (which are different than thoughts in that we are more controlled when we buy in to a thought, that is, believe it or take it too seriously). But the news is in from Harvard: We cannot control our thoughts (or beliefs which are a type of thought) and trying to NOT think it makes one more likely, not less likely, to have that thought again. Your finale: Let it go – that’s most correct. Hopefully you will follow it up with an article on letting go or as I call it in ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy) ‘defusing’ from that thought. For more information, go to: http://www.contextualscience.org and learn about defusing from unhelpful thoughts.

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    • September 21, 2016 at 9:31 pm

      Out of curiosity, what does REBT stand for?

      Reply
  • September 21, 2016 at 7:39 pm

    This article is so true my parents left me alone at a boarding school for 3 yrs. and I felt emptiness. I also was run down a lot by my parents because I have epilepsy. I had 2 brain surgeries to better myself and I still haven’t heard a word from my dad in 11 yrs. Take my word what others say can change a persons life. Just remember a smile is a frown turned upside down.

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