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The 8 Qualities of Charisma – and How to Have Them

Charisma: Compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others

What makes a person charismatic? Do you have to be born with it? Most people would say yes; you either have it or you don’t.

But I believe the truth is something far more complicated than that. I see charisma as a special collection of personal traits that we can choose to nurture in ourselves.

I also think that some people already have the basics of charisma, but they just don’t know it. And many of those folks are the ones you would least expect have the right ingredients. Because an essential part of charisma is that you have to own it

The 8 Basic Qualities of Charisma

  • Integrity and authenticity – This involves being the real you and feeling good about it. When you know yourself, it allows others to know you too. When you’re knowable and visible to others (clearly not hiding anything), people know they can count on you because of who you are. People feel connected to you almost automatically. They are attracted to you.
  • Understanding and responding to emotion – When it comes to interpersonal relationships, emotion is power. When you own your own feelings and work with them, you are immediately empowered. When you recognize what others are feeling and respond to them; by validating, understanding, caring or challenging, you naturally draw in the people around you.
  • Positive energy – Your energy is infectious. It spreads to others, and stimulates and energizes them.
  • Enthusiasm – Enthusiasm gives you and others more energy. It motivates and empowers people. People are naturally drawn to those who are enthusiastic.
  • Fallibility and accountability – Social science research has shown that a speaker or leader who makes a mistake, like tripping over a power cord for example, is immediately more liked by the audience. Everyone likes their leaders to be fallible. Owning your mistakes and showing that you’re OK with your own humanness is lovable and connecting. Trying to look like you know everything, or never make mistakes, is not.
  • Smile – Smiles hold great power, but only when they’re real; and only when they fit the situation. If you’re always smiling, people won’t connect to you, and if you never smile, people won’t like you. So smile when you feel it, and your smiles will empower you.
  • Being present in the moment – Attention is power. People can feel it when they, or an experience they are sharing with you, have your undivided attention. It’s an unspoken message to them that they matter. Everyone is drawn to this message. People can also sense divided attention, and it makes them feel less important and less connected.
  • Confidence – You can have all of the qualities above, but they will remain hidden unless you own them and project them with confidence. This is the final essential quality of the truly charismatic.

4 Best Quotes About Charisma

  1. How can you have charisma? Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are about making them feel good about you — Dan Reiland
  2. Charisma is the fancy name given to the knack of giving people your full attention. — Robert Brault
  3. The essential element in personal magnetism is a consuming sincerity–an overwhelming faith in the importance of the work that one has to do. — Bruce Barton
  4. Charisma is the transference of enthusiasm. — Ralph Archbold

The world is full of wonderful people who listen, care and give. People who smile, own their mistakes, and quietly inspire others. People with bright lights shining within them, but who lack the confidence to allow others to see it.

If some little voice within you is saying, “This might be me,” I ask you to listen to the voice and believe in yourself.

Own your qualities and build them, trust yourself, and stop hiding your light.

Because the world needs more people like you. We need your light.

To learn how to understand and work with emotions, and get to know the real you, see EmotionalNeglect.com and the book, Running on Empty.

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The 8 Qualities of Charisma – and How to Have Them

Jonice Webb PhD

Jonice Webb has a PhD in clinical psychology, and is author of the bestselling books Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect and Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationship. She has appeared on CBS News, New England Cable News, and NPR about Childhood Emotional Neglect, and has been quoted as a psychologist expert in the Chicago Tribune and CNBC. She currently has a private psychotherapy practice in the Boston area, where she specializes in the treatment of couples and families. To read more about Dr. Webb, her books and Childhood Emotional Neglect, you can visit her website, Emotionalneglect.com.


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APA Reference
Webb PhD, J. (2016). The 8 Qualities of Charisma – and How to Have Them. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 23, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-neglect/2016/05/the-8-qualities-of-charisma-and-how-to-have-them/

 

Last updated: 2 May 2016
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 2 May 2016
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.