Why Adults Who Have the Savior Complex Aren’t Healthy for Kids From Trauma

We've all been that person the one who sees a sad-faced child being scolded by an angry adult and wants to swoop in to save them. We've made all the assumptions, leapt to all the conclusions, and planned out all the ways we'd have handled the situation if we were the ones in charge.

Even the most careful of us are guilty of it sometimes.

It's not necessarily bad to be a person who evaluates...


Do We Create Behavioral Standards Based on the Tendencies of Introverted Children?

I live in a world where I constantly have the opportunity to evaluate how other people interact with children. My goal is never to judge, but to analyze, solely for the purposes of data collecting, improving my own methods, and spreading awareness. I like to have a running list in my mind of what works, what doesn't, and why children act the way they do.

In recent years, however, I've become increasingly interested in why adults...


“Let me tell them how I’ve changed!” – The Testimony of One Proud Foster Girl

I never want to give the impression that foster care is a salvation tool or that it is a happy situation for families. Foster care is the result of trauma, and it also causes trauma when children are removed from their families.

sometimes we're forced to make the best of a bad situation, and foster care can give kids the opportunity to feel safe, families the opportunity to reunite, and parents the opportunity to become...


No Amount of Shame Will Make Your Child Act Right

This week, I caught myself trying to make my kid feel like crap. She'd hurt my feelings--which have been all over the place lately anyway--and all I could see in that moment was how selfish she was being.

Usually, I'd be able to see her behavior for what it is without taking her actions but not this time. This time, I was tired of giving her the gift of having a mom that is always...


Grief Manifests Differently in Children

Most of us, as adults, have experienced grief of some sort throughout our lives. Maybe we lost a loved one, maybe we lost a marriage, or maybe we lost what we thought would become of our lives.

Either way, we experienced pain unlike we've ever felt before.

As most of us know, grief isn't neat or pretty, and it doesn't look the same for every person. There are stages of grief, but the ways that we...


Kids Who Need Their External World to Match Their Internal Chaos

Sometimes I find myself wondering why my kids make messes in every room they enter? Why do they drag every single toy/paper/pencil/art supply out of its drawer and leave it scattered around my house?

The comfort I have is that I know my children are only making messes because they're playing, learning, and developing in healthy ways. For a lot of parents, the chaos extends far beyond the everyday messes that come with being a kid....


Don’t Panic: Your Kid’s “Bad” Behavior Is Probably Normal!

As a parent, it's so tempting to overanalyze every choice we make and try to figure out whether or not we've messed up our kids. It's also tempting to overanalyze our children in an attempt to either put them IN the box of "normal" or out of it. In reality, there's no such thing as normal. There is only "typical" or "common," and you would probably be surprised by what is common amongst kids.

Here are some...


Stop Taking Your Child’s Behavior Personally

Do you react emotionally when your teenager rolls their eyes at you? Or when your three year old whines for every toy they see in the store? How about when your preteen cries in the fitting room at Walmart because you won't let them buy a teeny weeny bikini like "all the other moms?"

Okay, maybe that last one was a little personal for me. (Only 9 hours removed from that showdown, which was made worse...


Why I Went From Loving ABA Practices to Hating Them

For those of you who don't know, "ABA" stands for Applied Behavior Analysis. ABA Therapy is most often used on children who have Autism, but it's also with children who are neurotypical. For three years, I used various forms of ABA therapy on children, and I thought it was the one, true, scientific method for changing behavior. I really did. In part, that was because I hadn't gone through enough educational programs yet to learn the...