8 thoughts on “Foster Kids Should Never Have to “Appreciate What You’re Doing For Them”

  • January 3, 2019 at 7:30 pm

    This wonderful reminder encouraged my heart tremendously. So clear and concise that I had to say Amen as though a sermon had been preached. Feeling sorry for myself had overtaken the last few days of the holidays and ‘thanks’ I needed this word.

    • February 5, 2019 at 9:16 pm

      I would argue that whether biological or foster, most parents feel like this. It’s all part of parenting, period.

  • February 5, 2019 at 9:30 pm

    Very well said! There have been times where I hoped for, dare I say expected, a little gratefulness. I will never expect that on the future. You really did open my eyes!

  • February 7, 2019 at 10:04 am

    My kid better appreciate that sweater and he is wearing it even if it itches.

  • February 7, 2019 at 4:43 pm

    This is all the same for the adopted child. The adopted child owes no one anything, and are not suddenly transubstantiated into whole, balanced, well children because someone decided to seal the deal with a legally falsified birth certificate.

  • February 7, 2019 at 9:29 pm

    I have to say, I don’t agree at all. ALL kids should be taught to appreciate everything other people do for them, be it parents, teachers, educators, or friends. Otherwise we end up with a society of “entitled” little sods. Nothing wrong with learning gratitude and home life and family is the best place to learn it young. <3
    You don't have single out your fosterlings in the process as "in foster care so now be grateful for everything". Just treat all the kids the same, mitigate the differences and all learn to be grateful towards others.

    • February 8, 2019 at 3:42 pm

      I agree. It isn’t their fault but neither is it the fault of children who are born with a disability or children who are born poor. I think everyone should be taught that even though life sucks, you still can have joy. I have had that conversation with my own children and children coming into my home. They have every right to upset, angry, and hurt but that doesn’t give you the right to hit, spit, swear or break things. I will definitely meet them where they are but if having things happen that are unfair constitute in being allowed to do whatever the heck you want, I fear for all our futures. I was sexually abused, but I had to realize that hurting people or things was not the way to solve my own hurt. I CHOSE to foster and adopt because I wanted to love and support Children who come from horrible situations but that does not mean I will allow anyone, my own children included, to go and hurt others because of their own grief. This mindset of just because you are hurt and angry, you get a free pass to abuse others is scary and disrepectful to the foster-adopt parents who do wake up at all hours, buy more groceries, and hold kids because they are devastated because of the forced visits with the people who abused them. It is an incredibly one-sided article.

    • February 8, 2019 at 9:21 pm

      Thank you!!!! So much yes to this comment! We would be doing them a disservice if we didn’t teach them how to a least work toward being respectful and upstanding adults. May need a little more grace in their process, however, raise the bar and they will rise to it eventually. If we let everything slide and not teach respect and gratitude, then how are we showing the difference of a good, safe and normal family from what they’ve known?


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