6 thoughts on “How Childhood Trauma Causes Imbalanced Growth

  • July 6, 2020 at 6:23 am

    It is time to roundly reject the use of brain scans as evidence of brain development on children and causally linking it to their behaviors and growth. I used to think the way you did like so many others but have now come to see the casual and flip use of this evidence as at best a short cut and facile way of understanding the brain. New research is casting major doubts about isolating specific portions of the brain and their function – check out the new study about fMRI released – basically amounting to an advanced phrenology. We know less and less about the brain the more we study it – it’s connected by millions upon millions of neurons and I for one and tired of throwing around brain science and mistaking correlation for causality.

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  • July 8, 2020 at 9:58 am

    I’m an adult with CEN and now I wonder if it stunted my reproductive growth. I didn’t get my period until I was 21.

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  • July 8, 2020 at 10:30 am

    I am 66 years old and although I’ve worked full time all of my adult life and raised three children who are now adults, I am still so very much like a 5-year-old, the age that the abuse started by my father. It has helped me to learn that I am emotionally stunted – I am not as hard on myself as I once was. And I have accepted that I may never be like other better functioning adults. You are right – it has helped immensely to spend time with people who love and accept me, including my 5-year-old self.

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  • July 9, 2020 at 5:26 am

    I was harshly bullied growing up. I was beaten quite often and experienced sexual assault. I”m still a teenager but I feel fake. I’ve found lying and manipulating to be really easy and it gets me what I want. I know it’s wrong but I can’t help it. I want positive attention for once. Some friends have told me that in some situations I act strangely calm and emotionless. It’s not like I want to appear that way. I have to fake emotions to be normal around them and it gets suffocating. I only recently came out as bisexual but I still feel like I have to hide parts of me. I’m not specifically sure what impacts the bullying and assault had on me but it obviously wasn’t positive. I genuinely do feel bad lying to the people closest to me. But I genuinely don’t care about what affects my actions have on people I don’t know or I dislike. I’ve kept up my fake nice girl persona at school. But it’s not who I am and I’m aware a manipulative selfish person like me wouldn’t be liked. I try to do good when I can. Well I’m not sure if it’s ‘good’ but it’s doing the school a favor. The bullies have dug their own graves, I just push them in and manipulate the students bury them. Truthfully, I want power over them. I don’t want to feel weak and inferior to bullies again. My brain had this sort of survival mechanism where it just makes life a chess game. It feels as if I’m not even living. I’m just playing a video game. I make scenarios in my head of the choices people around me will make and different outcomes. I waited for my friends boyfriend to break up with her and when she was most vulnerable and everyone left her side. I stepped back into the picture to defend her and gain her trust and more value to my word. I had already made scenarios of her boyfriends downfall and his abandonment of her weeks earlier. Everything always falls into place. I feel bad that I had to use her but she’s mine now. I won’t let her get hurt by him anymore. I crushed his social status and he had to leave the school. I know it sounds controlling, and it kind of is. But i’m doing this for her benefit. She’s happy right now. She’ll never know I was the reason everyone became her friend again and turned their backs on him. I don’t like the person I currently am, but this is how I was shaped to be. I’ll try to change myself for the better and live a more normal life. That’s all I want. I want to be accepted for who I am and get support. I’ve never gotten any real emotional support. I didn’t even know I was being sexually assaulted because of how young I was. Even so, the trauma doesn’t go away and I need to vent sometimes. That’s why I’m typing all of this. To anyone who reads this, just know I’m sorry for the bad things I’ve done. I never wanted my life to be like this. I’m trying to change. It’s hard but I’m sure it will get better.

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    • July 10, 2020 at 9:57 am

      Dear Serena, your words and the actions you describe say that you are a deeply-caring person who is highly-intelligent, introspective, creative, a survivor, and growing your self-awareness. The bullying and abuse you’ve survived in the past and continue to deal with are shaping your consistently negative thoughts about yourself. I am not a licensed counselor but do know that we are not our thoughts. However, our thoughts-whether positive, negative or neutral can shape our experience. Please find yourself a licensed counselor who specializes in abuse and trauma. Hopefully, she will work with you on helping you change your thought patterns. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT. may be helpful. In the meantime, when you notice you are saying mean things to yourself about yourself, try to imagine that you are talking to a friend who is hurting instead. What would you say to her?

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  • July 11, 2020 at 8:03 pm

    I was sexually abused by my step grandfather when I was about 14. I am now 64. I have always suspected that my “immature” demeanor was from the abuse. Through counseling I am learning to accept myself and as well not be so hard on myself. I have had a good career in healthcare and am looking forward to knowing the true me!

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