Why It’s Wrong to Withhold Gentleness to Show Our Kids How “The Real World Works”

How many times have you heard a parent say something like, "If I baby my kids, they'll never know how the real world works."

Or maybe they've said things like, "How will they learn to keep going if I teach them it's okay to stop when things get hard?"

Or maybe they talk about people who are "whiney" because they want their feelings to be validated.

Or maybe they think therapy and counseling are both...


Why Do “Behavior” Kids Self Sabotage?

If you have a "behavior" kid, then you know what I mean when I call them behavior kids. I don't mean to say that they're defined by their negative behavior, but instead to say that their behaviors often drive the mood of not only their own days, but the days of their family members, as well. These are the kids who have to deal with disorders such as Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress...


Helping Kids Identify Where Their Negative Behaviors Are Coming From

How often do our kids act out without realizing why they're doing it or where it's coming from? If your kids are anything like mine, it's pretty much every time.

(Or maybe you have one of those magical children who come to you when they're upset and say, "Mom, I know I'm throwing a fit right now because I'm tired and hungry, but I can't seem to get myself under control. Can you help?")

It's usually easy...


The D.A.R.E. Program Is Missing the Biggest Piece in the Substance Abuse Puzzle

This week, I got to attend my oldest daughter's program at her public school. In case you didn't know, "" stands for Drug Abuse Resistance Education, and it's a short-term program that 10-12 year olds go through every year to learn about the negative effects of drug and alcohol use.

It's the same program I went through in late elementary school. It still uses the same songs, the same mascot, and the same message of...


Stop Responding to Your Kid’s Chaos With More Chaos

Some days, our kids act like sweet, little angels who make us love our jobs as and other days act like rabid squirrels who've eaten nothing but sugar. It's all about balance.

But on those days when they make us want to pull our hair out, we often respond to their behavior in ways that aren't helpful whatsoever. In fact, our behavior often amplifies the situation, making everything louder and more stressful.

Here some of...


What Is Trauma Bonding?

A few weeks ago, I rode on an airplane. There was an older woman sitting next to me, and every time the place jostled, I thought, "This lady and I are going to hold hands and die together."

Sort of laughable, sort of pathetic. Either way, I kept thinking about the bond we would share if we lived through the crashing of a plane together.

The technical term for the bond two humans build when they...