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The Fastest Way to Heal a Broken Heart

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Most people will tell you that to cure a broken heart, distraction is the key. Be social, spend time with friends and family, or take that trip you’ve always wanted! To some extent this is true – you should stay busy. But when it comes to emotional healing, distraction alone isn’t going to do it.

In my experience, the most effective way to heal is progress. By progress, I mean dedicating your time and energy to something you’re passionate about and taking steps to achieve fresh goals. This will give you a sense of achievement and fulfillment, which is what makes all of us feel truly alive.

It’s not a coincidence that when you’re doing what you love everything else seems to fall into place. Pursuing your passion tends to have a positive ripple effect on your entire life – and numerous scientific studies confirm this.

Have you ever experienced the feeling of being happily lost while doing something you love? It’s as though you go into a trance and lose all sense of time, feeling free and completely uninhibited. In these moments, you are experiencing “flow” – a state of consciousness where you feel and perform at your best.

“Flow is the very thing that makes us come alive. It is the mystery. It is the point.” – Steven Kotler, author of The Rise of Superman: Decoding the Science of Ultimate Human Performance.

As we direct our focus on a specific goal, our energy literally moves in the direction of that goal. This brings us to a higher state of consciousness by restructuring and aligning our psyche. This transcendence enables us to advance to successful new ventures and grow on a mental and spiritual level.

I feel this way when I write – a natural high, completely at peace and in the present moment.

Writing has also been my therapy for as long as I can remember. Putting my thoughts on paper helps me process my emotions and let go of what I’m feeling. For me, writing is an emotional cleanse.

Ironically, my best work has come from the lowest points in my life. I’ve found that in order to write the type of content that truly resonates with readers, I have to come from a place of vulnerability and authenticity – being real and saying what most people are afraid to say.

In fact, research shows “expressive writers” – those who write about traumatic, stressful or emotional events – are more emotionally healthy compared to the general population. I’m lucky that I write for a living, but the good news is you don’t have to be a professional writer to reap the emotional and physical benefits.

To help jumpstart your emotional healing, here’s a simple writing exercise you can try today:

To begin, find a quiet place where you won’t be distracted. Take out a pen and notepad, or laptop if you prefer. Give yourself a few minutes to get lost in thought.

Then, start writing whatever comes into your mind – every thought, every feeling, a complete stream of consciousness. Don’t overanalyze and keep writing for five to ten minutes.

Now, read what you wrote. Observe the words that you used, and underline ones that repeat. You should start to see a pattern. This provides insight into your subconscious – the part of your mind where your deep-rooted thoughts and beliefs live.

The first step to change your mind is being able to recognize your negative thinking. Once you do that, you can replace those negative thoughts with positive ones, and strengthen them over time. Through repetition, those new thoughts will eventually become ingrained in your mind.

So, what will you choose to focus on today?

The Fastest Way to Heal a Broken Heart

Kaitlin Vogel

From covering health and wellness content to neuroscience to relationships and dating advice, I’m committed to creating content that matters. My goal is for readers to walk away feeling empowered and motivated – whether it’s to pursue their dream job, strengthen the connection with their partner, or follow mindfulness strategies to relieve stress and anxiety.

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APA Reference
Vogel, K. (2018). The Fastest Way to Heal a Broken Heart. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 5, 2020, from


Last updated: 20 Feb 2018
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