Parenthood isn’t easy. It requires a lot of sacrifices that you just can’t fully grasp until you’re in the thick of it. This seems especially true in the age of social media where families share only the best moments for the world to see. It can make those isolated, desperate times seem so much lonelier and darker.
Fortunately, we are beginning to work on transparency and more and more parents are admitting to feeling overwhelmed. Ali Fedotowsky, who gained fame on both The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, became a mother last year and it hasn’t all been roses.
She recently told Fit Pregnancy & Baby, “for the first eight months of Molly’s life, we never had anyone else watch her — not even a family member. After months of no breaks and little sleep, I legit had a mental breakdown. I remember I was in our kitchen, crying to Kevin on the phone, saying, ‘I can’t do this anymore. I need help.’ I was holding Molly. She was screaming. I was screaming. It was like out of a movie. I lost my mind.”
Both Fedotowsky and her husband, Kevin Manno, are first-time parents who were a bit surprised by the demands of parenthood and struggle, like many of us, to find time to nurture their own relationship.
“We need to make more time for ourselves and schedule more date nights,” she says. “Once, when Kevin’s brother babysat, we went to dinner and spent the first hour watching videos of Molly on our phones, saying, ‘Look at how cute she is!’ I’m not even kidding. Finally we said, ‘Do you realize what we’re doing? We need to put our phones away!’ But Molly is the great love of our lives. And we’re OK with that.”
And there’s nothing wrong with that. There will be people who complain about “baby spam,” who don’t want to hear about your new addition’s gurgles and coos and, really, that’s their problem – not yours (or Fedotowsky’s). If you want to watch videos of your baby without having to actually keep track of him or her, so be it! If fawning over your child brings you and your partner closer together, then do that. Babies are small for such a small amount of time, why not just enjoy that? As long as it’s not obsessive, don’t feel bad for thinking about your baby!
So, will the Molly have to share the spotlight any time soon? Maybe! Fedotowsky revealed, “we definitely want to have a second baby. We’ve always said two. I don’t know if it gets harder when a second child comes into the mix. If it does, please help me. A lot of people say it actually gets easier because the children keep each other company. I hope that’s the case, because, if not, I’m in big trouble.”
More than one child will always be more work but every couple has to decide what family size works best for them. All the best to the Fedotowsky/Manno family in the future!