When Mandy Moore burst onto the scene with her song “Candy,” she was a mere teenager. She rose in popularity very quickly and seemed to be everywhere all of a sudden. By the time she turned 25, she was already married to rocker, Ryan Adams. While they appeared very happy, they divorced just six years later.
The singer/actress discussed the reasons why she and her husband split last year. In an interview with People, she explained: “My story deviated in a different direction than I expected but, ultimately, life is about being happy and fulfilled and sometimes that means making hard choices.”
She’s right. There are so many people who, despite loving their spouse, made the tough decision to leave them. Sometimes, love isn’t enough and, in the end, we are all responsible for our own happiness. We cannot depend on someone else to make us happy. While it’s fair to argue that too many people give up too quickly, it’s not up to any of us to judge or make this decision for others.
Moore, who is starring on a the upcoming much-hyped show, This is Us, insists that, although, it was a painful process, she did her best to move forward. “There are moments of being curled up in a ball on the floor. It’s really hard. But I’ve moved on and progressed in the stages of grief and being angry and feeling the loss and all that. I do believe things happen for a reason. And I think I had that mantra moving through the trying times.”
Even if someone initiated the divorce, they still have a right to grieve. It is a loss, regardless. For most people, their marriage wasn’t all bad and it can be difficult to look back on the good times when the relationship is ending.
As Moore describes: “There was a period in my life when it was so beautiful. And I had this really fascinating person [through whom] I got to see a completely different perspective on the world.”
A common complaint, especially among people who married young, is that there was a loss of identity and individuality that came with the marriage. For many, this is an expected consequence of sharing a life with someone but, for others, it’s deeply troubling.
Moore states: “I wasn’t a participant in my own life for a while. I poured so much of myself into my personal life and when that wasn’t as fruitful as I hoped it would be and I extricated myself from that situation, I was able to realize I wasn’t honoring myself and my dreams and what I wanted in life.”
Fortunately, with her new show and a new romance with musician, Taylor Goldsmith, it looks like Moore is getting a fresh start. “You couldn’t pay me to go back five or ten years ago,” she says. “Having gone through trials and tribulations has brought me to this place today. I feel so much lighter. And I’m growing into the best version of myself.”
Her show, This is Us, premieres on NBC on September 20, 2016 at 10pm ET.