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The Best Friend Problem

4358801736_e572df9be1_mBest friends are sacred. They are to be treasured. They are our playmates when we are children, partners in crime when we are adolescents, and our confidants when we reach adulthood. They are our mirrors, they give us our true reflections. We are so protective of these relationships, and for good reason, we need them so we can become our best possible selves. They are there to listen to us talk about the worst date ever, they will stay up all night with us because we are lonely and can’t sleep, they hold your hand through the mess that is your life, and when you get the courage to make a fresh start they don’t let go during the scary times. and most importantly they help you bury the bodies.

But sometimes, for reasons you can’t comprehend, there is a change in your BFF status. It becomes harder to get together, or make time for regular calls, they get married and have children, and next thing you know, you have lost the most important relationship in your life. And it’s heartbreaking. It’s worse than breaking up with your boyfriend. For me, its equal to the death of the beloved family pet. Why? Because this person was the best part of you. He/She was integral in shaping your personality. You were smarter, wittier, happier, and way more fun when they were around. It’s painful when you lose them. And when you are the one responsible for the change, the guilt can become unbearable.

Which brings me to the reason for this blog post. My imaginary husband, also known as Malcolm Gladwell, told his story of how he ruined his relationship with his very bestest friend. While its a completely heartbreaking story, enough time has gone by that he can see the humour in it. Still there is a lot of pain, but he tells it very well.

Sometimes the person we end up with, known as our non-platonic BFF, doesn’t like the original BFF. While you can try to work it out, it is usually messy, and feelings get hurt.  Permanently hurt. With help from The Moth, here is Malcolm Gladwell’s story.

Let me know if you have been in a similar situation, and what you did about it. And if there is a video of you singing insulting songs about your friends -please share them with me.

**Photo Source- Flickr –Bryan Rosengrant

The Best Friend Problem

Laura Bzowy

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APA Reference
Bzowy, L. (2014). The Best Friend Problem. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 3, 2020, from


Last updated: 9 Aug 2014
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