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Toxic Behaviors: 12 Examples of Unhealthy Boundaries

Do you know how to make someone respect your boundaries? Would you know what to say or do to keep your boundaries firm? Most people struggle with boundaries because we, as a society, tend to see things at face value and with the intent of communicating in a peaceful manner. We hardly ever anticipate that someone would mistreat or misuse us. But toxic relationships tend to be those relationships that push us far beyond our boundaries. Having a relationship with a toxic person is like standing on the edge of a ledge hoping not to fall. Every aspect of that relationship is uncertain and you may find yourself experiencing a lot of insecurity. This article will discuss and highlight 12 characteristics of someone with unhealthy boundaries. *Video included.


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Triangulation: 2 Practical Ways To Understand A Triangle

Do you know someone who takes pleasure in dragging any and everyone down with spreading rumors or lies, starting arguments and getting everyone involved, or keeping problems going by including people who should not be included? If so, you are not alone. Triangulation is something that emotionally unstable individuals use to either manipulate or confuse a situation. In some cases, the triangulation is unintentional but habitual. If you have never heard of the term "triangulate" or "triangulation?" If not, that's okay because it's typically a concept used in and mainly used in trauma-informed therapy. The term is typically used to describe an individual who creates drama or confusion using 3 or more people in a situation. This article will explain triangulation and help you explore the problems that result from someone who engages in this behavior. 


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Experiencing Trauma: 7 Signs You Haven’t Healed Yet

Have you ever experienced a traumatic situation? Do you feel you have overcome the negative effects of the trauma? Trauma is a powerful word.  Many clients who see me almost stagger when I mention I believe they have experienced trauma. When clients hear me label some of their most disturbing and unhealthy experiences as trauma they look puzzled. Interestingly, most people are coming around to labeling their experiences as traumatic. But some people struggle with the idea that their experience(s) may have been traumatic because these people identify trauma as sexual or physical abuse, domestic violence, or a serious car crash. This article will focus on 7 signs that you haven't healed from your trauma and offer tips on how to cope or move forward. 


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A Traumatized Child: 14 Burdens of A Parent

How would you describe your parent or family caregiver? Are (or were) they supportive, loving, and caring? Did they meet some if not most of your emotional and psychological needs? Good parents don't get recognized as much as they should. As a product of a very dedicated, loving, and self-less mother, I can say that a good parent makes all the difference in a cold and empty world. As a youngster, we look to our parents or guardians to protect, love, and nurture us. Unfortunately, none of us are immune to trauma and even if your childhood was the best anyone could have, trauma has a way of eroding the positive memories. This article will highlight some of the main challenges of good parents and guardians. It is important that you know I am not only referring to parents in this article, despite the title. I am also referring to family caregivers (i.e., aunts or uncles, grandparents, Godmother or fathers, etc) and guardians or adopted/foster parents.


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What Is Trauma? 9 Things We Fail To Understand

What comes to your mind when you hear the word trauma? Do you think of physical or psychological trauma? Do you have preconceived notions about how trauma may affect human development? Sadly, many people struggle to understand the emotional, psychological, and/or physical toll trauma can have on overall health. Trauma tears families apart. It divides and sadly, in some cases, it conquers. This article will highlight some of the things I have seen, in my profession and life, that is difficult for others to understand about trauma. I have narrowed these things down to 9 for the purpose of keeping things structured and succinct.


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Traumatic Experience: 8 Misconceptions of Childhood Trauma

What is trauma? How would you describe it? If I were to quiz you on trauma would you know how to define it? You might say something like trauma is a negative experience that you cannot forget or move past. I would give you an A+ but also challenge you to consider different situations in which trauma occurs and the impact on the victim. For example, we all know that a child who has been abused and neglected or has seen something horrific would most likely be traumatized. But would you also consider a 3-month-old baby who has been severely neglected to be traumatized? Would you consider an adult, who has a history of trauma, to still suffer from the trauma? These questions will be answered in this article including a video on traumatic experience. 


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Minority M.H. Awareness Month: 5 Important Issues

Did you know that July is National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month? If not, you're not alone. Sadly this month is often overlooked by the majority in the U.S. You can't fully blame them for not paying attention as Men's Health Month, National Safety Month, PTSD Awareness Month, and LGBT Pride Month keeps a lot of people preoccupied fighting for their own causes. But we can't forget the significance of this month as it provides the greater knowledge we need, as a society, to reach for those who have suffered injustice, social and institutional discrimination, and disenfranchisement in many more ways than one. This article will focus on bringing awareness to the ever increasing concern for those of color of ALL ethnic groups.


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Defeating Pathological Liars: 5 Things You Must Do

Do you know someone who lies frequently about any and everything? Have you caught someone in a few lies and wonder why they continue to engage in the behavior? If so, you are obviously dealing with a pathological liar. What most people fail to recognize about pathological liars is that they often lack the ability to empathize with others (walk in your shoes), feel guilty about their behavior, and have trouble controlling their innate impulse to lie. For most of us, it is very difficult to lie with a straight face and quite easy to feel guilty about the lie. But for someone with pathological behaviors, it is rather easy for them to lie while exhibiting behaviors and emotions that make the lie believable. What is most interesting about pathological liars is that many of them know how to control their emotions in such a way that lying can look like the truth to us. This article will explore ways to protect yourself from pathological liars and identify their modus operandi.


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4th Of July: 10 Reasons It Isn’t A Celebration For Many

Are you excited for the 4th of July? Are you looking forward to all of the American traditions we love to engage in year after year? Independence Day has a new meaning every single year. It has a new meaning for different populations as well. In this article, I discuss 10 reasons why Independence Day may not be a day of celebration for everyone this year. I also include a link to a recent video of mine on the topic of trauma. 


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Thinking Outside The Box: 7 Common Distortions To Change

When someone treats you with disdain and uses every verbal attack they can think to use on you, do you walk away thinking "this person hates me, they think I am completely worthless?" What about if your boss walked by you without smiling or greeting you after you just applied to another job? Would you think "he completely hates me? "He knows I'm trying to leave even if I didn't tell him." If so, have you considered that perhaps you were engaging in a Cognitive Distortion? In this article, I discuss this concept further and explain ways to combat negative and limited thinking.