2 thoughts on “Family Chaos: Myths & Challenges of Family Therapy

  • November 9, 2018 at 4:31 am

    With my family, there is unfortunately, enough dysfunction that I fear instead of a few sessions, we’d qualify for our own mini series or reality show–and it would NOT be pretty LOL!
    Seriously though, my therapist has asked me several times how I would feel about inviting my mom to join in on a session or two. I can logically understand why she asked, but I have thus far been too scared to try. Also I think I feel somewhat hopeless about it because: she is a lot older now and doesn’t handle anything she perceives as criticism well–she will become quiet or say something like “I must have been a bad mother after all when I thought I’d done pretty good and the best I knew how at the time!” And also, it is scary and unfamiliar for me to think of giving up the role I was indirectly assigned which was to protect her and my siblings at all costs–even if that means sacrificing my own needs or feeling emotional pain due to feelings I’m not allowed to have.
    Very different personalities too–and roles we had growing up that we would likely tend to fall back into. My sister for instance was “the wild child” lol, always wanting to have fun, occasionally skip school, spoke her mind often and at times loudly, seemed to have no fear of anyone or anything. My brother was more like me, don’t rock the boat, be respectful, obedient etc. I tended to be much more invisible than he was however. Both of us are more the introspective and sensitive type. For a while now though, my brother is quite mouthy and doesn’t care what he says, whether it’s respectful in its content or delivery and is often fueled by alcohol and animosity.
    I think you are a wonderful kind and skilled therapist, Tamara but I can’t imagine how YOU would stay sane in the midst of that lol!

    • November 20, 2018 at 11:15 pm

      Hi Lori,
      Thanks for your kind comment. I appreciate that! Prayer keeps me grounded and sane. 🙂
      I can relate professionally and personally with what you describe. It’s tough especially with family who are “delicate,” aging, and changing. We’re all changing and then we try to come together during the holiday and there’s just too much to manage at once. It can be draining. I must admit, when I used to go around half my family for the holiday I would go back home and crash. I felt “hung over” the next day from fatigue!
      Take care


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