9 thoughts on “38 Ways To Relax And Change Your Imbalanced Thinking

  • February 15, 2018 at 3:53 pm

    Thank you for a wonderful article and video on DBT and wise mind. I am familiar with both, as I was enrolled in groups that taught this. I still use the skills I’ve learned in DBT, as they help me to cope with life’s many ups and downs. Your article reminded me of using my ‘wise mind’every day, along with the other skills I have in my ‘toolbox ‘. Thank you for sharing some very excellent wisdom to help live life to the fullest. Sincerely, Kim.

    • February 16, 2018 at 12:57 pm

      Hi Kim,
      Thank you! I’m glad you found it helpful. So glad to hear this was a reminder for you. In many ways, it was a reminder for me too! 🙂
      Take care

  • February 16, 2018 at 3:12 am

    Hi Tamara,
    I love watching your videos because not only are they informative but you are so passionate about your work that it just shows! I remember I had a college professor who happened to teach two classes I needed for my degrees. He was a very intelligent older man, very nice and clearly loved his job but wow was he ever dry and “up in his head!” Those of us who’d taken a class with him before could EASILY tell which students had never met him because the new ones would have this “deer in the headlights” look in their eyes. This was due not only to the “dry” monotone he could get into when lecturing but also, he was clearly an intellectual and should have been teaching PhD level classes rather than undergraduates lol.
    Anyway, I identified with several — if not all of those statements unfortunately. I have never felt it was okay to ask someone else to meet a need or want of mine-even a minor one. It makes me acutely uncomfortable because of the vulnerability involved but also because I am more comfortable taking care of others!
    It has become more obvious to me within the past few weeks that, depending on some test results/pathology reports, I may have to at least TRY to do some work to change that. IF that were the case, I think I will find it EXTREMELY difficult but also, I have few people in my life to begin with and even fewer I have that level of trust and comfort with.
    I think the other part of it is that I DO love helping others and find it more emotionally and spiritually rewarding then being in the position of needing anything myself!
    Hope you are well and that you have a good weekend.

    • February 16, 2018 at 1:15 pm

      Thanks so much Lori! Everyone says that. I just love giving the knowledge and care I have received from others.
      I’ve had teachers like that too and it feels like I’m slowly dying. My mentor once told me that no one really cares about how smart you are if your heart isn’t there. Turns out he was right!

      I think there is a lot of benefit to wanting to care for others versus yourself. This is selfless. However, as you know, there are cons to this as well because we burn ourselves out and neglect our basic needs. Burnout and compassion fatigue are likely to result from this. Based on what you have told me about your health at this time, I agree that reaching out is going to be very important. Allow yourself to be taken care of for a bit. I truly believe this is a good way to bounce back. Without that temporary care from someone else, we would be too tired and weak to continue on.

      I might talk about this topic in the future, so stay tuned!

      • February 17, 2018 at 1:39 am

        That would be a great topic–burn out/compassion fatigue! I know that many of us –myself included obviously, struggle with self care in varying degrees. It is (I am learning) impossible to be all things to all of those we love and care about.
        As for my health, I am just so scared it could be cancer due to the symptoms and also several risk factors I have. I am driving myself crazy researching but am putting a hold on that because it is at this point creating more anxiety!

      • February 20, 2018 at 10:47 pm

        I’m sorry Lori. That’s tough and I think when our anxiety gets the best of us, we give in rather than fight against it. The best way to fight against the anxiety and worries is prayer, distraction, and taking care of yourself. As hard as it is to do this, you must right now. 🙂
        I will certainly put talking about compassion fatigue/burn-out/vicarious trauma on the radar!

        Take care

  • February 24, 2018 at 7:30 am

    Thank YOU ! Struggling ith grief/guilt/you name it! – I took notes will be doing some journaling on your questions (boy, do I have boundary problems) and this gave me the courage to follow up with my doctors’ referral for grief counsellng

  • February 24, 2018 at 8:18 am

    I suddenly am realizing I need to face my “Facebook habit” – block ALL posts but family and a few close friends – NO politics, NO discussions if I want to be able to relax, and learn to get in touch with balanced thinking and MY boundaries emotional needs when my life is transitioning to I really know not where…

    • February 26, 2018 at 10:48 pm

      Hi Pickles,
      Thanks for commenting. I think social media can be blamed for a lot of unhealthy engagements with others. Blocking certain people who are unhealthy for you, setting boundaries, and choosing not to respond or react are all important.
      Take care


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