4 thoughts on “10 Ways To Escape Toxic People

  • September 27, 2017 at 12:14 pm

    Spot on as usual…Awaiting the next episode…

    Reply
    • September 27, 2017 at 10:18 pm

      Thanks so much Sandy!
      Looking forward to your comments next week.

      Reply
  • September 28, 2017 at 3:21 am

    Hi Tamara,
    I’ve had a few “toxic people” in my life. The “yo-yo” behavior that you mention is a tough one for me because it leaves me feeling unsettled–kind of like “walking on eggshells.” This describes my brother for awhile now. He may call me one week and be kind and complimentary, even going so far as to tell me he has always looked up to me and I am his “hero.” The following week, the entire family is “evil” in his eyes!
    Granted, this is more than likely a mental illness issue but despite being concerned and caring about him, I DO consider him “toxic!”
    My neighbor is another one but for different reasons. I finally had to end that friendship because I couldn’t deal with the constant need to control others she seems to have coupled with such judgement and at times, prejudice against people who have immigrated here, and anyone who she feels is not living life as she thinks they should.
    I always give people the benefit of the doubt and it takes a LOT for me to end a friendship or ANY relationship for that matter lol, but sometimes (I am learning), you have to say “enough” for your own well-being.
    I hope you are well!

    Reply
  • October 4, 2017 at 2:30 pm

    I”ve been there, and in a lot of ways I am still there. We were married for 17 years and the only reason I woke up to what was going on was because he was starting to get more and more physically violent. Before that he had never hit me and I was never what you call afraid of him. He still hasn’t hit me, but I could see in his eyes the anger, the hate and I knew it was coming. I’ve since learned a lot about him and why he is the way he is and although it explains a lot of things, it isn’t helping me to move on. I have cut myself off from people and the only time I see anyone is when I have to go to the store for supplies. I want nothing at all to do with anyone at this point, I have tried but I am so mistrustful, I just don’t feel comfortable around people.
    I told him if he didn’t do something different I was going to get a divorce and he kept it up. Then when I started the proceedings, he came to me and said he didn’t want to divorce, he wanted to work things out. I was happy about that, I believed him. But all he really wanted was to make the divorce his idea. So once he had me convinced things were going to get better, he just walked up to me and said, I want the divorce now. I don’t love you. I asked if he ever really had and he said, well, I tried. I realize now that he isn’t capable of love but he had me so convinced that he did love me. All he wanted was my property, that’s the only reason the marriage made it as far as it did. I almost walked away and gave it to him, but from somewhere inside I found this rock of courage and told him he would get the land over my dead body and he would never get it from me. I guess there was something in my eyes or he could see how dead serious I was, because although he made a weak stab at getting it in the divorce, he really didn’t fight it very hard. But he completely destroyed any kind of life in me. When he first said he wanted the divorce I felt I was going to die right then, and I welcomed it, I wished for it, I longed for it. I fell completely apart and all he did was step over me and look back at me with a smile. He threw me in the trash, discard is what they call it I know now. I learned a lot about narcissists after that and even confronted him about it. I told him I completely knew what was wrong with him,…and then later found out what a dangerous thing that was to do. He worked on all my friends and family and convinced everyone that I was crazy, they all thought when I tried to tell them about it, that I was just being vengeful. So, I cut myself off from everyone and am still in that shape almost a year later. It is without a doubt the worst thing I have ever been through in my life. He would love for me to just die. But I won’t give
    him that either.
    His last girlfriend before me committed suicide is what I think. She ran into a power pole on the highway and they called it an accident, but I know better now. I recommend anyone dealing with a toxic person like this to get away as far as you can go. If it doesn’t feel right to you, it probably isn’t and I promise you, you can’t fix them and you can’t change them and your happiness will never come from them. They have no true emotions, they are not capable of love. They are too far lost for this world. Get out and don’t say a word, just go.

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