3 thoughts on “7 Ways Trauma Victims Feel Stuck & Ways To Move On

  • October 1, 2017 at 4:10 am

    Hi Tamara,
    Great article as always!
    I remember for the longest time, I didn’t think of what I went through as “abuse” or “trauma.” I minimized but wasn’t even aware of that! I remember telling my first therapist “he makes me feel scared and uncomfortable, we don’t get along that great” etc.
    I STILL struggle with assessing my progress in therapy. I have never seen a treatment plan with either my current therapist (understandably since we work by phone) or previous therapist! I judge myself harshly and often wonder “am I progressing fast enough” but I don’t think I am.
    Change is a big issue for me. I find it extremely difficult — despite wanting it. But can a person TRULY WANT something and yet not do it? A rhetorical question mostly. I am not so sure because I do feel that I want to make certain changes and yet actually taking such a huge risk (I am thinking of wanting to “start over” in another state, a chance to “‘re-invent” myself so to speak) is so scary to me for a variety of reasons.
    No easy magical solutions to this trauma stuff!

    Reply
    • October 2, 2017 at 10:05 pm

      Hi Lori,
      Thanks so much for your kind comment. Always glad when you chime in!
      I think it’s always easier to minimize trauma and abuse rather than accept it and explore it. I can’t count on two hands how many intake assessments I have done where the person looks at me sideways when I mention “trauma” or “abuse.” In a way, it sounds like emotional numbing happens which makes it difficult for the victim to understand just how much the trauma and abuse affects them.

      Treatment plans are very important. Most agencies use them for billing your insurance or “proving” that goals are being worked on in therapy. But I use treatment plans to help my clients and I stay on course, work toward something, and measure progress while also meeting their insurance company’s needs. I would ask you current therapist if there is a treatment plan and if so, if you could see it.

      The other thing I would consider is the type of therapist you have. Are you not making “progress” because you aren’t getting something from your current therapist? Sometimes it’s worth the exploration.
      Take good care

      Reply
  • October 3, 2017 at 4:00 am

    Hi Tamara,
    Thanks as always for your thoughtful reply!
    I will ask about getting a copy of the treatment plan just so I can get a sense of progress or lack of, maybe update some things etc.
    A question for you: how does a person know when therapy is done? I am thinking recently that it might be because I have done a fair amount of work with a couple of therapists off and on over the years in terms of the past abuse. Usually I can talk about it and feel absolutely nothing. It’s been that way for a while–actually more often than not. For the most part, especially during the first years after the abuse, I didn’t talk about details. I would either lose control, fear losing control or go totally numb. Besides, therapy can never take it away and make me forget it.
    Lately I’ve given thought to quitting. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m done, because I’m numb emotionally, because I worry about whether I am burdening or boring my therapist or simply because I am tired of it all and just want to not deal with anything or anyone.
    Thanks Tee.

    Reply
 

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