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Do You Understand Trauma? 7 Things We Tend To Ignore

Terror and traumaTrauma is one terrifying event after the other. It’s like one heart-beat skip after the other.

How do you feel about the recent deportation of almost 2,000 children separated/deported from their families at the U.S. border?

Without getting buried too deep in political thought, how would you feel if your child were snatched from your care? How might your parents feel?

In the wake of all of the deportations and traumatic separations of foreign children and their parents, I think it’s important that we explore the impact of trauma on these families. Let’s start with a general evaluation of the topic of trauma.

In this article, I discuss some of the facts of trauma we, as a society, tend to overlook in our personal lives and in the lives of others.

In the attached video, I break down what trauma is and how it affects the overall mind, body, and soul.

Disclaimer: Some of the information discussed could be triggering. Video over 15 minutes long. 

I want you to let the beginning of this article resonate with you. Two THOUSAND children were separated from their families.

After years of research on trauma and the bio-psycho-social (i.e., biological, psychological, and social) components of trauma in our society, how can we not understand the great impact trauma has on the overall development of a child, an adolescent, or an adult? It is emotional, psychological, and physiological torment throughout the lifespan.

The best way to describe trauma is not so much by defining the actual traumatic event that created the trauma, but by explaining what overwhelms the ability to cope. Trauma often results in the loss of skills and abilities needed to cope. The traumatic experience overwhelms the ability to “fight back.”


What is trauma?

Definitions of trauma continue to change over time as we, as mental health professionals, learn more about it. There really is no real set definition of trauma. However, the Center for Nonviolence and Social Justice defines trauma as:

“The word “trauma” is used to describe experiences or situations that are emotionally painful and distressing, and that overwhelm people’s ability to cope, leaving them powerless.”

Sadly, most trauma begins in childhood and is often the worst kind of trauma due to its affects on the developing brain. Thankfully, youths are resilient and often rebound, but some youths do not. Many grow into adults who continue to struggle with the trauma. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network utilizes a very helpful quote on childhood trauma:

Sometimes adults say, ‘They’re too young to understand.’ However, young children are affected by traumatic events, even though they may not understand what  happened.

Common facts we tend to ignore

As stated above, childhood trauma often grows into adult trauma. The child becomes the adult through age and responsibilities. But the pain remains the same. Below I list some things we need to keep in mind about trauma. Common facts often ignored, by society, about trauma include:

  1. You cannot just get over it: A lot of people believe that trauma is very similar to a “bad experience” that you can get over with time, therapy, and sometimes even drugs (illegal or prescription). Trauma involves a psychological, physiological, and emotional experience that alters the brain and the body including the ways in which we perceive events, people, etc. after the trauma. For example, veterans who return home after seeing repeated deaths, murders, and crime up close and personal, often struggle with trusting others, developing healthy relationships, and leading a somewhat normal life. Their perception of life has drastically changed by the time veterans return home. What they have heard and seen has such an effect on their emotions, body, and mind that many return home with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD has been widely researched by those interested in trying to understand how trauma alters every aspect of a once emotionally and psychologically stable individual.
  2. “Trauma” means different things to different people: Trauma continues to interest me for multiple reasons, hence my certifications. Trauma is a very complex thing to study as it requires years of research, experience (through people you know or with clients), and patience. Trauma isn’t as simple as a bad experience and often seems “rebellious” to treatment. Some families require years of therapy to get over their trauma. The worse the trauma, the longer it will take to heal.
  3. Trauma can be as simple as daily stressors for some people: While working in a residential treatment facility (RTF) of children (ages 9) and adolescents (ages 12-19), every single day was a traumatic experience for these kids. Watching over patients being restrained (chemically or physically), getting into arguments with staff members, running out of therapist offices during tough sessions, and trying to escape the premise were all traumatizing events for those involved in them (direct trauma) and those who were not (indirect or vicarious trauma). African Americans and other disenfranchised cultures find daily life stressful, especially if they are segregated, experiencing racism, or struggling with low income. At risk youth often face daily struggles such as not having enough food to eat, not having transportation, witnessing violent crimes (i.e., murder, rape, etc.), and having to grow up fast and take care of siblings are all traumatizing events. Trauma to one person may not be trauma to another. It’s subjective.
  4. You need a specialist in trauma to get real treatment: Most people believe that any therapist can help the individual heal from their trauma. Unfortunately, if the therapist is not trained in understanding the effects of trauma on the human experience, it will be difficult to grow in therapy, start the healing process, and learn from the therapist if their experiences have not included working with trauma victims. Mental health professionals who have been trained and certified in trauma can help clients take the “baby steps” needed to grow, learn, and heal. It is also very important to find a therapist who is experienced with trauma clients and not just certified. Any professional can obtain a trauma certification and have absolutely no experience working with trauma.
  5. Trauma is very misunderstood: Because of a lack of wide-spread knowledge on trauma, there are people who will deny ever having been traumatized because “I don’t think it was that bad.” Individuals who are having a difficult time accepting a traumatic experience may also deny that they are traumatized. This does not mean trauma did not occur. In fact, many families will deny a traumatic experience such as rape, child molestation, or severe domestic abuse because “everyone is older now” and the abuse has stopped. I previously worked with 2 clients (who were brothers) who were told to “get over” their experience of hearing their father severely beat their mother during a domestic dispute. These young men suffered from flashbacks (hearing their mother screaming and seeing their father punch her), guilt (for not being able to step in or being too afraid to ask for help), and resentment of their father. Sadly, the grandmother felt these young men were holding grudges when in fact they were struggling to heal.
  6. Therapy for trauma is often not enough: Therapy is the first step toward recovery, healing, and growth. If you find a really good therapist, your chances of healing and growing are great. However, therapy is not enough for individuals who have experienced trauma and may also have complex trauma (trauma that is complicated, prolonged, and has many layers). For many people, support from others, spiritual “counseling” or support, relying on family or close friends, opening your mind to medication if needed (even if short-term), becoming more mindful of your physical health through exercise and healthy eating, etc. can all be helpful in pushing the traumatized individual forward.
  7. There is a real difference between childhood trauma and adult trauma: Childhood trauma seems to be the most severe form of trauma in my eyes. Children are so delicate in their interpretations of the world that one traumatic incident, often contradicting their innocent worldview, can destroy their functionality. Kids are, however, very resilient and able to “bounce back” with the right amount of protective factors (i.e., supportive adults, counseling services, inclusion in healthy social relationships, having access to school and proper education, supportive grandparents or extended family members, having an interest in positive extracurricular activities, etc.). Protective factors (i.e., things that encourage recovery and offer support) are often lacking in situations in which childhood trauma grows into adult trauma.


What has been your experience with trauma? Do you feel misunderstood, minimized, ignored?


As always, I look forward to hearing from you.

I wish you well

This article was written 6/22/16 but has been updated to provide comprehensiveness and accuracy.
Do You Understand Trauma? 7 Things We Tend To Ignore

Támara Hill, MS, NCC, CCTP, LPC

Támara Hill, MS, NCC, CCTP, LPC, is a licensed therapist and internationally certified trauma professional, in private practice, who specializes in working with children and adolescents who suffer from mood disorders, trauma, and disruptive behavioral disorders. She also provides international consultations and works with some young and older adults struggling with grief & loss or life transitions. Hill strives to help clients to realize and actualize their strengths in their home environments and in their relationships within the community. She credits her career passion to a “divine calling” and is internationally recognized for corresponding literary works as well as appearances on radio and other media platforms. She is an author, family consultant, Keynote speaker, and founder of Anchored Child & Family Counseling. Visit her at Anchored-In-Knowledge or Twitter and Youtube Youtube If you are interested in scheduling a telehealth family consultation, feel free to let me know.

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APA Reference
Hill, T. (2018). Do You Understand Trauma? 7 Things We Tend To Ignore. Psych Central. Retrieved on February 20, 2020, from


Last updated: 20 Jun 2018
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