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Archives for Resiliency


How to Make Your Holidays Not Suck

It’s that time of year again.

The Holidays.

For many people, the end of the year festivities are a time of joy and warmth, a time for nostalgia, and a time to celebrate with the loved ones in our lives.

But what time is it for others?

Those troubled by ugly memories of holidays past rather than ones filled with light and love.

Those who with the dreaded family get-togethers that you really can’t get out of...
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3 Things to Ask Yourself When You’re Just Not Bouncing Back

Do you ever wonder why you’re not bouncing back from things as fast as you usually do?

Maybe you’re facing a big stressor or perhaps it’s something so small that it usually wouldn’t bother you, but in either case, somehow you just aren’t as resilient as you have been in the past.

The tendency is to think, “I must be a real wimp; I usually am fine with this type of stress.”

You might be a wimp (although...
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3 Ways to Tame Monstrous Problems

Take a look at this striking photo of a monster.

We see gigantic, multi-faceted eyes, leathery skin, and hairy, feeler-y things sticking out in the front.

Who knows what those feeler-y things might be hiding? Probably some hideous mouth with powerful, trap-like jaws.

It makes me shudder just looking at it.

Do you know what this scary monster is?

It’s a gnat.

One of those tiny little insects that we swat at impatiently as they flit around our...
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Are You Willing?

I’m often asked, “Why are some people more resilient than others?”

I don’t know the exact answer to this question (I’m not sure anyone does yet,) but I have a guess about one particular aspect of resilient people.


My partner often asks me to do things around the house that involve lifting heavy objects.

“You’re much stronger than I am,” she says in answer to my curiosity about why she would like me to...
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How to Bounce Back from Emotional Pain

I was sitting in a rustic camping lodge on an island in Washington State with a crackling fire in front of me. The smell of pine and earth and wood smoke delighted my senses with each inhale. Around me, people were chatting intently and occasional spurts of laughter erupted in the great hall.

I didn’t want to be there.
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Need to Bounce Back? Get Rid of These 5 Things

In my lengthy career in mental health, I’ve noticed that there are several key stumbling blocks that keep many people from bouncing back when adversity hits.

If you can get rid of these things, life will open up for you and become less of a struggle.

1. Thinking that you’ll get to a point where life doesn’t change.

Admit it. If you’re like most of us, you secretly think that some day when you have everything...
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10 Things to Tell Yourself When Life Knocks You Down

1. I’ve been through this (or worse) before.
Remember that this is not the first time you’ve faced heartbreak, grief, emotional distress, or any other kind of calamity. You made it through then and you will now even if you think this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. Great resource: Joan Borysenko’s It’s Not the End of the World: Developing Resilience in Times of...
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