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Sometimes resilience means letting go: The last post at Bounce Back!

One of the important components of resilience that I am learning to practice more and more is that of acceptance. Taking in my experiences as they come and allowing them to happen. Sometimes things need to change and I take action and other times things are out of my control and I have learned to sit with the experience - whether it's comfortable or uncomfortable - and keep moving on.

My experience at this point in my...
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Let Go of Self-Esteem: 4 Ideas to Truly Feel Better About Yourself

People come to me in my private practice and request that I help them build their self-esteem so they can be more resilient in life.

I think they’re on the wrong track.

While having a healthy amount of self-esteem can be helpful, there are aspects of self-esteem – and the pursuit of self-esteem – that can be harmful and hinder your ability to bounce back in life.

Researchers call this “contingent self-esteem.”

When we base our worth on something...
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Need to Bounce Back RIGHT NOW? Try these 4 things

If you’re in a spot where you feel like you need to bounce back right now, here’s what I want you to do:

 1. Take a deep breath.

Now, before you roll your eyes, let’s look at why this is important.

Taking a deep breath does a couple of very vital things for you.

- It stimulates your vagus nerve by expanding your diaphragm. The vagus nerve is that long, winding nerve that starts in your brain and...
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Want to Feel Better? 11 Free Resources to Get You On Your Way

Some of the best and brightest researchers who study how to increase your well-being have loads of free, practical, helpful information just waiting for you out there in cyberspace.

To make things a little easier for you, I’ve rounded up a few of my favorites. These are people and research that have rocked my world and I know they’ll do the same for you. Look for the free stuff!

Struggling with shame? Brene Brown’s...

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Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking

I am a happiness grump.

Perhaps I come by it honestly as my parents often referred to me as “Little Chief Thundercloud” when I was a small child.

Nonetheless, I enjoy a bit of happiness as much as the next person. But the aspect of happiness that has me particularly grumpy is the popular social notion that one should always be happy.

You Must Be Happy Now

If you don’t believe me, visit one of...
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Break Your Resolutions

You heard me.

Break those resolutions.

They're not doing you any good.


Resolutions inevitably set you up for failure.

Think about it: Resolutions are usually created around something you have difficulty with, anyway, like exercising more or eating less. When you create a resolution, you take something that is already hard for you to do and pile on more expectations and more weight (so to speak) on the outcome.

Now what happens if you're not able to keep your...
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3 Things to Ask Yourself When You’re Just Not Bouncing Back

Do you ever wonder why you’re not bouncing back from things as fast as you usually do?

Maybe you’re facing a big stressor or perhaps it’s something so small that it usually wouldn’t bother you, but in either case, somehow you just aren’t as resilient as you have been in the past.

The tendency is to think, “I must be a real wimp; I usually am fine with this type of stress.”

You might be a wimp (although...
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