Often what makes people difficult is that they have a lack of awareness of the needs of others. They're not about to adapt to you; they expect you to adapt to them. And depending on your relationship (whether it's marriage, a colleague, a boss, a child's teacher), it can be incredibly stressful. So what do you do?
In the event of an airplane crash, you're supposed to secure your own oxygen mask first before attending to your children. The same advice applies to parenting. Parenting is challenging, no doubt. Kids are incredibly skilled button pushers, from remarkably young. Sometimes that's accidental on their part; sometimes it's intentional. But regardless, staying calm and grounded yourself is pretty much a prerequisite. So how do you do that when it feels like the plane is going down, every day?
In a long-term committed relationship, sexual ebbs and flows are entirely normal. (Not that I like that word "normal"--I think it's often the enemy of mental health and relationships, since chronic comparison tends to erode both.) But when it comes to sex, the number one question people have is, "Am I normal?" Read on to find out when it might be time to seek the assistance of a trained professional around a sex and intimacy issue.
I get it. Some conversations just feel too hard, so you think, "I'll do it later." Or you think, "Maybe the other person will just guess what I'm feeling and I won't have to say it." Or, "It'll just take care of itself." But time passes, and no one's read your mind, and it's getting worse, or it's beginning to fester. So now's your moment.
Does that phrase spark anxiety, or a sense of relief? Many of us feel inundated by the politics in our feed, or maybe by the images of other people's seemingly perfect lives. How do you know when you need to take a break? And what should the boundaries be when you return?
It might be personal (you felt like you could have done better.) It might be that you feel let down by the people you love, or by people you don't know nearly as well (colleagues, or near-strangers on social media.) It might be disappointment in the world you're seeing around you. Disappointment is a kissing cousin to sadness, the precursor to anger, perhaps. Often, disappointment isn't recognized as such, until it becomes of the others, perhaps even depression or inertia. Are you feeling disappointed? And if so, what can you do about it?
There are a lot of components to intimacy: physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual. Affection can actually be part of all of them. If you're feeling disconnected from your partner, working on the level of affection in your relationship might be a good place to start.
You're about to enter one of the most emotional and tumultuous periods of your life, especially if you have children. While pain and grief are inevitable, there are definitely better and worse ways to divorce. Here are some ideas of how to set yourself up to have a better divorce.
So this one is close to my heart. I just realized I hadn't posted a new blog since the end of December, which is indicative of my sense that my life had taken on--well, a life of its own. I've been in survival mode, just trying to keep my head above water. If you're in the same boat, this one's for you!
I have to confess: It's been a wild ride of a year for me, and not all of it's been positive. So I'm writing this for myself as well as for all of you out there who are still catching your breath and wanting to go into 2017 with the best mindset you can.