4 thoughts on “Considering Divorce? Consider This

  • May 29, 2017 at 11:54 am

    This is a very important part of making the decision to stay or go. I never thought the grass would be greener, but I did conclude that I couldn’t live the rest of my life in an environment of unrelenting hurt and stress. I knew nothing would change between us, and I had come to the limit of my endurance. It took me two years of individual therapy to make a decision in the face of fear and the unknown. I was married to a subtle narcissist who was an expert at stonewalling and gaslighting. By the end, we were as far apart as two people can be in the same house, and he had all but removed every resource but a roof over my head from me. Life after has not been a bed of roses. Once the shine of freedom from the daily swamp was dimmed, the usual difficulties of being single with one income and 60, in a world designed for youth, wealth and being coupled, caught up with me. Evenso, I do not regret that I divorced that toxic man. I think in making such an important decision, we must imagine ourselves dealing with those kinds of things and be willing to risk the trade. We have to ask ourselves whether remaining in a bad marriage, with what we know at the time, is better or worse than leaving, which may very well have it’s own set of problems. Very few people divorce without paying some price or other. The challenge is to do what’s best and not look back with regret at what we have chosen.

    Reply
    • May 29, 2017 at 6:04 pm

      I completely agree. I’ve always believed life is about trade-offs–which are the best ones for you, what’s acceptable, what’s intolerable, and not just thinking in the moment, but down the road, too. So you need to really know yourself, and that involves slowing down. I’m glad to hear that you made the right decision, and have no regrets. Wishing you all the best,
      Holly

      Reply
  • October 9, 2018 at 2:04 am

    I almost got carried away by my emotions. Good thing I have made the right decision to stay. I believe every issue in the relationship can be fixed if the both of you are just willing to do so.

    Reply
    • October 9, 2018 at 8:24 am

      Yes, motivation is key. Glad to hear your relationship’s doing well!

      Reply
 

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