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Suicide: The Wrong Cure for a Broken Heart

In the past week, like many others, I saw that Jim Carrey’s former girlfriend killed herself after their break-up. Unlike many others, I sat across from a teenager thinking of suicide after his girlfriend had broken up with him, and he told me that one of his friends had just hung himself after being rejected by “the girl of his dreams.”

Killing yourself may seem like an appealing way to end your pain, and possibly even pass it along to the person who hurt you. But before you get too far down that road, read this.This too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass.

The pain may feel unbearable. It may feel neverending. You may believe that the love you had is the only one you will ever want, and if it’s slipped through your fingers, then there’s nothing left for you.

But what if you’re wrong? What if you’re writing an end to a story that may have continued until you were happy once again? Maybe you would have gotten back together with that person you considered The One; maybe you would have met someone a day or a week or a month or a year down the line and would have been grateful that you were free, available, and ready for the biggest love of your life. Maybe you would have found other sources of meaning and purpose and vitality.

This too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass.

PainĀ feels unbearable when you imagine that it’s forever. The fear that your life will be an ongoing torment without the one you love–that’s what makes pain intolerable.

Locating some measure of hope is critical. Talk to a friend or a family member, someone who loves you and who can remind you that you are loved, and that you continue to love. Consider what value you have in the world that is not at all based on that one relationship, but on all the others you have and can have, of all the joy you can bring to others and experience yourself.

Exercise, or play an instrument, or see a sad movie, or see a happy movie. Participate in the world. Volunteer, because you may feel you have nothing to give, but you’re wrong.

You may think love has left you for the very last time. But what if you’re wrong?

This too shall pass, this too shall pass, this too shall pass, this too shall pass….

Broken heart photo available from Shutterstock

Suicide: The Wrong Cure for a Broken Heart

Holly Brown, LMFT

Holly Brown is a marriage and family therapist in the San Francisco Bay area. She has a private practice in Alameda (http://hollybrownmft.com/ ). She is also a novelist (http://hollybrownbooks.com/). Her latest is HOW FAR SHE'S COME, a workplace thriller which received a starred review from Publisher's Weekly: "This provocative tale will resonate with many in the era of the #MeToo movement."


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APA Reference
Brown, H. (2015). Suicide: The Wrong Cure for a Broken Heart. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 18, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/bonding-time/2015/09/suicide-the-wrong-cure-for-a-broken-heart/

 

Last updated: 30 Sep 2015
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 30 Sep 2015
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.