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Archives for November, 2014

General

Giving Thanks (When It’s Been a Crap Year)

You might be wondering why I'm even suggesting the idea of gratitude when you've had a lousy time of it.

It's because appreciation beats the alternative: spending your holidays in an extended wallow, reinforcing your helplessness over your life.

If you're reading, you're considering. So I hope you'll read on. This post isn't about finding a silver lining.  It's about marshaling your strength so that 2015 treats you better.
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Assertiveness

People Pleasers: Please Thyself!

To thine own self be true--it's good advice.  But it's hard to follow if you've got strong people-pleasing tendencies.

To be clear, I'm defining a people pleaser as someone who consistently sets their needs aside in favor of doing what other people want, regardless of whether those wants are healthy or fair, or even how important the relationship is to the people pleaser; it's that the people pleaser can't help themselves, they just want to avoid all...
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Abuse

Saying No to Manipulation

Wikipedia had a great definition of psychological manipulation.  Here it is: "Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the perception or behavior of others through underhanded, deceptive, or even abusive tactics."  (Thanks, Wikipedia!)  I'd add that manipulation always benefits the manipulator, though he or she might  be adept at making you believe otherwise.

Everyone twists things to their own advantage sometimes.  But if you're chronically manipulated by someone in your life,...
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