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Archives for November, 2013

Attachment

Give Me Strength: Outlasting a Toddler

My daughter's almost two, and out of nowhere, she's become a picky eater, which absolutely grates on me.  She pushes away foods she's eaten for months without taking even a single bite, and then she's gesturing for the food she wants in its place (98% of the time it's bread.)

So my husband and I are going to have to outlast her.  She has to learn that she's going to eat what we serve her (or at...
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Attachment

Influencing–Rather than Controlling–Your Teen

I think of this as something of a companion post to one from a week ago.  Hopefully, taken together, they can help you get closer to your teenager.

Parenting in general is anxiety-provoking.  But there's a particularly intense anxiety to parenting a teenager.  And I've noticed in my practice that one of the things parents often do in response to that anxiety is try to seize more control over their teenagers' behavior.  Here's why that strategy...
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Assertiveness

How to Keep Your Friends

Most adult friendships end not with a bang, but with a whimper.  They peter out through unreturned messages or promises that "we'll get together soon."  And sometimes that's because the relationships have simply run their course.  But sometimes, it's a sign that we haven't been attending to them.  People might not come out and say they're feeling neglected, or that their feelings are hurt; they might just disappear from your life.

All relationships require care.  The common...
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Parenting

Why Your Teen Doesn’t Talk to You

So that title might sound harsh.  You're thinking, "Oh, so now it's MY fault that my teenager doesn't talk to me?  When I try so hard?"

Let me say, I'm not blaming you.  Hopefully, I'm going to enlighten you.   Knowledge is power, right?  If you can realize some of the things you're doing that are accidentally off-putting to your child, you'll be better able to connect with him or her.

Here's a scenario I see all the...
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Attachment

Stress, Irritability, and Relationships

You always hurt the ones you love, as the old saying goes.  And the reason is, they're the ones who see us at our worst--at our most stressed and, therefore, irritable--and we know that they're not as likely to hold it against us in the long run.  Snap at your boss, or at a client, and there might be no recovering.  But your husband, he's got to forgive you, right?

Well, it might look that way.  But...
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Attachment

The Best Thing We Can Do For Our Toddlers

My daughter is currently receiving services to help her with her developmental delays.  Her developmentalist (yes, there is such a title, and well-deserved, too!) observed my daughter having a meltdown.  Several, in fact.  And what she said to me was that the most important thing a parent can do in a situation like that is to attend to his/her own regulation.

What does that mean, exactly?  How can we achieve it?
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