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Archives for May, 2013

Attachment

How To Embrace Failure

In my last post, I wrote about how to balance dreams and reality for ourselves, and for our children.  I said that we have to help our kids calculate odds as they get older: Risk versus reward, where best to allocate energy, which dreams are likely to come true.

But it occurred to me that our own assessment about those things might not always be accurate.  It will most assuredly be shaped by our own experiences of...
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Parenting

Follow Your Dreams, Sure, But For How Long?

Last month, I sold a novel to Harper Collins.  It was the culmination of five years of hard work (and several other novels that I couldn't find an agent for).  All that effort, all that rejection, and to be honest, I'd decided that this novel was my last hurrah, my final attempt.

If no agent wanted to sell it, then I was giving up.  I'd write this blog and focus on my family and practice therapy and that was plenty, right? ...
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Parenting

A Real Mother’s Day

I met with a client today who I hadn't seen in several weeks.  She started telling me about her Mother's Day--where what she wanted was peace and quiet, but what her kids needed was crisis management, and guess what won out.

"Well," I said, "that does sound like a real mother's day."  We both laughed, and what I was thinking of was my own Mother's Day (my second), from a few weeks ago.

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Assertiveness

Assertiveness in the Workplace

My post, Assertiveness for Beginners, sparked some passionate discussion.  There were two main--and very different--themes in the discussion.  Some people were talking about isolated (or recurring) incidents of hurt feelings, that may or may not constitute bullying; others were talking about systematic harassment by their bosses (bullying).

So in this post, I'm going to talk about the former.  In a few days, I'll be doing another post, "Assertiveness with Workplace Bullies", and that'll address the latter.

But first,...
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Psychotherapy

What Makes a Good Therapist?

I drew some interesting criticism with my blog post Therapy: A Customer Service Profession?.  Several of my fellow therapists wondered about me as a therapist, whether I was too reactive to the client I wrote about, and what it said about my professional skills and/or perspective.

Since self-evaluation is part of the therapy process for our clients, it seems important that we engage in it ourselves.  So, what makes a good therapist?

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Attachment

Jealous of Your Spouse?

It's not the kind of thing you're supposed to admit in polite company.  But I know from my practice--and my own life--that it's more common than we want to think.

Say, you're home with your daughter all day; your husband works full-time.  You get more time with her, which he envies; he gets more time with adults, which you envy.

When does envy become full-blown jealousy?  When it is a problem?

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