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Boredom

Me or We?

Since the perpetuation of the species is the force that drives the longing for connection, it seems that we’d be wired to get along with each other with ease and pleasure, but for seemingly large numbers of us, that doesn’t seem to be the...
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Addictions

Working with Partners of Sex Addicts: An Interview with Dr. Barbara Steffens

My friend and colleague, Dr. Barbara Steffens, has specialized in the treatment and coaching of sex addicts and the betrayed partners of sex addicts since 1999. During that time, she has conducted groundbreaking research on the trauma that betrayed partners experience, and she has written an excellent (and highly recommended) book on the topic, Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal. Dr. Steffens is also a founding member and current President of APSATS: The Association of Partners and...
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Attraction

The Gift of Service

When the love that a couple enjoys is robust and full, it demands a wider arena for expression. Their grief in not being able to have their own children got poured into their work with the children they work with. Consider the story of...
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Commitment

Beware of the Perils of Confirmation Bias

“What the human being is best at doing is interpreting all new information so that their prior conclusions remain intact.” — Warren Buffett
 

Charlie: If you’re like me you’ve often been mystified by others (including your primary partner) who appear to be unable...
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Commitment

Why Tough Love Can Be the Best Thing for Your Relationship

"A failure to confront is a failure to love.” —Scott Peck    

Flickr: Bark

No one likes critical feedback. We often avoid criticism by discouraging those who give it, or dismissing it as invalid. It’s hard to hear that someone feels mistrust, disappointment, or anger toward us. But avoiding "tough love" denies us the opportunity to enhance respect and trust in our relationships and our lives.

Invalidating a partner's feelings undermines the level of trust and respect in...
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