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Tag archives for parenting

Difficult Feelings

When Kids Bully Parents


Most parents have had the experience at one time or another of their child having too much power in the family. This can happen in different ways, at different times, for different reasons, but it always feels terrible – for parents and kids. When we feel competent as parents, being around our children is often a source of pleasant emotional experiences. This helps us to feel attached to our kids, which in turn allows us to...
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360 of Compassion

Touch a Screen or Touch Reality

Perhaps, I am being overly dramatic but it seems to me that we – as a species – have entered the age when we are far more likely to forget our kids in a hot car than forget our smart-phones.

Indeed, we have become inseparable from our “devices.” We have become a species of absent-minded, techno-distracted zombies. We no longer notice each other. We maladaptivly jaywalk with our minds buried in our so-called smart-phones. We can’t...
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Family Life

How to Promote Healthy Emotional-Social Development of iGen Teens


In her popular article, Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?, Jean M. Twenge refers to the “iGen”---those born between 1995 and 2012 that have been shaped by smartphones and social media. She says that while this generation might be physically safer than adolescents have ever been (because they’re “more comfortable online than out partying”), they are “on the brink of a mental health crisis.“ She adds that the research says, “The more time teens spend...
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birth

Sticks and Stones: The Problem with the Language of Birth

Last week, Time magazine’s cover story “The Goddess Myth: How a Vision of Perfect Motherhood Hurts Moms” spoke eloquently about the impact of mom-shaming and how an extreme emphasis on “natural” birthing and motherhood leads to tremendous guilt, shame, and sadness in new moms. This article got me thinking a lot about language, specifically the words we use to talk about birth and parenting. As a practitioner of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), I am always looking at the ways my clients use...
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parenting

Advice for an Overwhelmed Parent (Anonymous Reader Question)

This is me, pregnant with #2 and freaking out as #1 digs her razor sharp elbow into my belly. For some reason, this seems like an appropriate picture to share with this post.

Here's my latest response to an anonymous reader

A few questions: How do I introduce chores in a young family of three? What are best practices for limit setting? How do I get my kid to stop playing...
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Animal Mentors

What Animals Have Taught Me About My Childhood

Pearl, my parrot, investigates Dr. Verdolin's new book, "Raised by Animals."

I learn a lot from animals every single day - this mostly on account of how I live with three of them, a parrot, a turtle and a tortoise and am auntie to a fourth, a dachshund puppy.

For instance, animals have helped me better understand my instincts and habits and where they might have originated from, especially the ancient fight-or-flight...
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parenting

Girls Can Play With Boys, Too!

While I usually write about practical ways parents can play with their children, I think it's just as important to write about how parents can influence and redirect playfulness. Refusing to conform to traditional gender roles while their children play with friends and peers, is one way in which parents can help.

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addiction

How Childhood Abuse Becomes Self-Abuse


All of us have probably acted against our own self-interest at some point in our lives. For some people, it’s feeling sick after eating a bag of candy or drinking too much, while for others it’s self-mutilation and mental self-erasure.

The concept of abuse is complicated. It’s simple on an abstract theoretical level: abuse is a type of behavior that is harmful. But it’s much more complicated on a psychoemotional level because people tend to justify or...
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