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Tag archives for Marriage

Boredom

Me or We?

Since the perpetuation of the species is the force that drives the longing for connection, it seems that we’d be wired to get along with each other with ease and pleasure, but for seemingly large numbers of us, that doesn’t seem to be the...
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Attraction

The Gift of Service

When the love that a couple enjoys is robust and full, it demands a wider arena for expression. Their grief in not being able to have their own children got poured into their work with the children they work with. Consider the story of...
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General

5 Tips For Helping The Ex-Smoker In Your Life Stay Quit

Tips for helping an ex-smoker remain smoke-free
Are you married to or partnered with an ex-smoker? Trying to find ways to support your mate without being overbearing? Need some real tips on how to be helpful?

If the answer is yes, you have come to the right place. That’s because I am a former smoker. In fact, I used to put those nasty things in my mouth for over twenty-years.

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Commitment

Are You Holding the “Tension of the Opposites?”

Linda: Loving someone doesn’t mean that we always have warm and wonderful feelings toward them. Love is a stew flavored by a variety of ingredients — sometimes sweetness, spice, bitterness, or saltiness, and sometimes “the works.” Our ever-changing feelings, whether they are pleasurable or...
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Abuse

Kids Used As Weapons by Vindictive Exes

'Your ex wife wants your son dead,' I told my husband, Rhys. 'Terrwyn's* death at his own hand would be you ex's ultimate victory. She's bullying him to death, but will blame it all on you if he succeeds in committing suicide'.

Parental Alienation is wrong. It's evil. But battling exes wielding their children as weapons to wound each other? That's even worse. You know all about it because, if you're reading this article, you've experienced it either as a parent or...
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addiction

The Soul of Valentine’s Day

Linda: I love Valentine's Day. It's one of my favorite holidays. I keep a box of Valentine's decorations in my garage, and hang them up at least a week before the big day to get into the spirit of the holiday. For some people,...
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Attraction

Relationship Breakdowns Are Under Rated

The exemplary marriages we know of have been earned. These relationships are true partnerships, built on foundations of hard-won trust that accrues over time. The struggles and efforts to reconcile what can often appear to be impossible differences create the groundwork for these marriages....
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Attraction

A Gift We Give Our Partner is What We Don’t Say

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
Linda: Exemplary couples give each other the gift of clearing. Clearing is a term that describes the process of coming to terms with our own anger without ever speaking to the other person. It is an inside job. There are several methods that we can...
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Commitment

Compassionate Self Care

Cynthia: "I just don't trust him anymore. There's no point in our even trying to work things out until Tom starts acting more respectfully towards me and shows me that I can trust him". This wasn't the first time that Cynthia had concluded that...
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Children

Hillbilly

A transcendent child


Vance is a hillbilly, at least that’s how he refers to himself and his relatives and neighbors in the Appalachian mountains. He was born and raised in Middletown, Ohio among large numbers of hillbilly transplants from Jackson, Kentucky deep...
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General

Seeing the Big Picture

Well maybe


There is a story about an old Chinese farmer who lived in ancient times. He was the envy of his rather small village, because unlike most of the other farmers, he possessed a horse.

One day, however, his horse ran away and...
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Commitment

Ultimate Limit Experiences

Challenges can grow wisdom.
Linda: Ultimate limit experiences are situations that must be faced consciously with courage and resolution, and that push us to the limits of our endurance. Examples are illness, failure, divorce, disgrace, betrayal, situations like facing our own death or...
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Coping Strategies

Why Cheat?


Stalking your boyfriend or girlfriend gets you what exactly?  When I talk to adolescents and young adults in therapy they often want to show me their texts that they're saving (for what?) as "proof" that their boyfriend or girlfriend has betrayed them. What is gained by this?  Adults also save stalking texts of ex's and etc. presumably for the judge (?) in a divorce case. Sometimes they want to spend the whole session reading it.  That's ok....
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Commitment

Why Tough Love Can Be the Best Thing for Your Relationship

"A failure to confront is a failure to love.” —Scott Peck    

Flickr: Bark

No one likes critical feedback. We often avoid criticism by discouraging those who give it, or dismissing it as invalid. It’s hard to hear that someone feels mistrust, disappointment, or anger toward us. But avoiding "tough love" denies us the opportunity to enhance respect and trust in our relationships and our lives.

Invalidating a partner's feelings undermines the level of trust and respect in...
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General

3 Mindful Ways to Breathe New Life Back Into Your Marriage

Sandy, a mother of three young sons, felt extremely bored in her marriage with Mike. They were both super busy with the rigors of work and parenthood. Mike also felt a lack of intimacy and warmth in the relationship.

Even though he was always “busy”, he felt lonely. So the two sat down and created a list of ideas to rekindle their flame: A weekend trip? Planting a garden? A nightly...
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