Your Partner Is Your Teacher and Your Student
A primary law of relationships is that we are not attracted to someone who is just like us. The phenomenon of complementarity dictates that in general we will be attracted…
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Experiencing Trauma: 7 Signs You Haven’t Healed Yet
Have you ever experienced a traumatic situation? Do you feel you have overcome the negative effects of the trauma? Trauma is a powerful word. Many clients who see me almost stagger…
Deposits in Karma Savings and Loan
Linda: Some couples get caught in a higly conflictual style of communication where fighting is commonplace. Because trust is so low at that time, each of the pair is caught up…
A Surprising Finding about Romance
Linda: Sandra Murray, professor at State University of New York in Buffalo, researched the strength of illusion in romantic couples. Her inventory asked both married and dating couples to rate themselves,…
Dichotomy Of Attention
Inattentiveness seems to be defined as “not paying attention to what you’re supposed to be paying attention to.” But what, or who, decides what you’re supposed to be paying attention…
I Believe In Love
“And I believe in love, But what else can I do, I’m so in love with you” Carly Simon We all believe in love or at least the majority of us…
Are You a Champion of Repair?
Linda: No matter how hard we try, there are sure to be breakdowns of all kinds, misunderstandings, broken agreements, not having our needs met, unhealed wounds that get activated and other…
Other Creative Prompts for Coping with Depression
Therapy and sometimes medication are invaluable in treating clinical depression. Thankfully, there are also activities, actions and habits you can try on your own. Getting restful sleep. Moving your body….
Who’s Responsible For Your Happiness?
When it comes down to it, we marry for one reason: we think that we’ll be happier than we would be being single. Human beings crave happiness and will do…
Lifting a Wet Blanket Off of Sexual Complacency
“You must dive deeper, a thousand times deeper.” Rumi Linda: If there is a heavy wet blanket weighing down your sexual desire, you already know that you are missing out…
Sometimes a Marriage Has to Die in Its Present Form
Linda: Many couples know from their own experience how easy it is to become trapped in their roles in maintaining the family system. The pitfalls of such entrapment include feelings…
The Precious Resources of Our Time and Attention
Most of us know that there are certain kinds of experiences that nurture our souls and other that don’t. We also know that “experiences” are not “things,” and that although…
All The Best Lovers Are Gracious Receivers
Linda: In the following story, you can see that being aware of howwe give and receive can make a huge difference. For an exchange to work, the receiver has to consciously…
It’s Never Too Late to Repair Damaged Trust
There is no statute of limitations regarding hurt feelings or wounded trust. The bad news is that the pain of unfinished business can continue for years; the good news is…
Art and Motherhood: You Don’t Have to Sacrifice One for the Other
Ever since having a child, I’m especially interested (i.e., obsessed) in learning how mothers create, how they make the time, how they view their work, how they may or may…
Marriage is Like Launching A Rocket
Linda: Just as a space shuttle burns about 90 percent of its fuel during the initial moments of its flight, marriage requires its greatest expenditure of energy during its early stages….
Addiction and Reparenting
Have you ever had the experience of seeing a fellow adult acting like a child? Perhaps you saw someone else burst into tears at a perceived slight, or fly into…
Humble Beginnings Can Give Birth to Great Achievements
Linda: Larry and Barbara didn’t begin their careers in medicine with a desire to become world-renowned experts in alternative forms of healing. It was their efforts to heal some of…
Marriage Does Require Some Sacrifice
For those of us who are “commitment-phobic,” we may fear that the costs of marriage will outweigh its rewards. Often, this fear doesn’t stop us from getting married, but may…
The Meaning of Life
“People say that we’re searching for the meaning of life. I don’t think that’s it at all. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so…