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Tag archives for life


Evicting Your Narcissist’s Voice From Your Head

Now I realize The Big Bang Theory isn't exactly the DSM-5. For that matter, neither is Doctor Who. But you'd be surprised how much you can learn, psychologically speaking, from geeky TV shows.

For example, whenever I hear my narcissists' voices reverberating in my mind, I'm reminded of The Table Polarisation, Season 7, Episode 16 of TBBT. In a nutshell, Leonard, my codependent doppelgänger, and his girlfriend Penny are shopping for a dining room table, a piece of furniture...
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10 Ways to Manage Unhealthy and Toxic People

How would you know that a person is “toxic?”

Would you know that a person is toxic right away?

The word toxic is a very common word in today's society. It's even more popular online where you can find millions of articles on relationships and ways to survive in them.

Sadly, despite frequent searches online about this topic, it's easy to struggle to identify the behaviors of a toxic...
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True Intimacy Can Exist Only Between Equals

Melony and Jude married when they were both barely out of their teens. Like many couples, neither of them had experienced or observed much genuine intimacy in their lives or families prior to meeting and marrying. Melony’s mother was a hyper-responsible supermom who worked...
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Holding the Tension of the Opposites

By learning to hold the tension of the opposites, we stretch and grow bigger. There is more space for seemingly opposite ideas, feelings and behaviors to peacefully co-exit. We become less rigid, more flexible, less judgmental and more tolerant, less fearful and more loving.

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Addictive Relating

7 Insidious Goals of Gaslighting, 2 of 2

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse. It is perhaps the most insidious tactic of manipulation because of it's intent to disturb the sense of self and agency, safety and reality of another, to make it easier to interfere and control their thought and communication patterns.

This overarching goal of gaslighting to intentionally traumatize another into submission is what makes it insidious. What could be more inhumane?

Not surprisingly, its methodical...
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When Two Hearts Are Connected

Linda: We often don’t realize how precariously we are perched in our life. In an instant, our whole existence can change. We may be going along innocently when we get into a car accident or get a phone call telling us that someone dear...
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Animal Mentors

Falling in Love with Trees

This amazing hundreds of years-old oak tree sustained a severe injury - a lightening bolt split it nearly in two. It couldn't move away, so it found another way to cope, and survive. I can't even find words to describe courage like that.

I have always loved green growing I'm fairly certain the feelings haven't always been mutual.

Although lately, I am no longer sure that what I've been feeling is actually love. Reason...
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Facing A Crisis: 2 Tips On Steps You Should Take

How do you feel about the most recent traumatic event in the nation?Do you know what I am referring to?If not, don't feel bad as many of my clients and I can hardly keep up with all of the trauma and terror upon the land.
The recent Florida school shooting that killed 17 youths has traumatized many parents and their families. The kids/students who witnessed this tragedy will never see school the same...
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Love or Attachment: Which Is It?

My parrot, Pearl, is very fond of fond. The moment a fresh sprig is presented, he leaps on it and starts chomping until all that remains is the dried-out stalk. I think it is safe to say this is an example of "attachment" rather than love!

"Is it attachment or is it love?"

To me, this is one of those deceptively easy questions - the ones we automatically think we know the answer...
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Me or We?

Since the perpetuation of the species is the force that drives the longing for connection, it seems that we’d be wired to get along with each other with ease and pleasure, but for seemingly large numbers of us, that doesn’t seem to be the...
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A New and Comforting Understanding of Physical Death

I wonder if the "everywhere" experience some people have of departed loved ones feels like looking at the vast, serene, beyond questioning.

With such a cheery title, I would understand if you, treasured reader, skipped right over this post!

I probably would have during earlier decades in my life. But now that I have reached the venerable age of 47, this is precisely the type of topic I find most interesting.

At this stage of...
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Life-Changing Moments

Charlie: It doesn't take long to have a life-changing experience. Sometimes a weekend workshop will do it. Sometimes a chance encounter is sufficient. Sometimes a moment can be enough time to create a permanent life change.

Twelve years ago, I (Charlie) had one such experience....
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Mental Health

Life as a Registered Sex Offender: Work and Recovery

In my previous posts to this site I presented the first and second portions of my three-part interview with a trio sex offenders, one female and two male. In the initial post we talked about their offense and the registration process. In the second post we discussed how their status as a sex offender has affected their relationships with family, friends, and romantic partners. In this post, we discuss...
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