John Bowlby, a British psychoanalyst originated the Theory of Attachment. He was attempting to understand the intense distress experienced by infants who had been separated from their parents. Although Bowlby was primarily focused on understanding the nature of the infant-caregiver relationship,
...Linda: I first learned about the distance and pursuer from family therapist James Framo who describes the pursuer as the one who likes a lot of contact,
...Charlie: If you’ve been experiencing any or all of these symptoms, you may be a victim of a health condition that has been becoming increasingly prevalent in COVID-era in which we are all currently living:
Linda: Love is a universal need that is essential to our well- being and is the most important need of all. Love is not just a warm feeling towards another person.
...Linda: People with complementary personalities can provide a missing link for each other. In theory it sounds like this arrangement should work just fine. And in most cases it does,
...If you’ve been noticing lately that you and/or your partner are more irritable, short-tempered, impatient, critical, withdrawn, emotional, anxiety-ridden, depressed or perhaps, ALL of the above, keep these three words in mind: YOU’RE NOT ALONE.
...Linda: A confidant is defined as a trusted person with whom personal matters and problems are discussed. In a sociological study (conducted by McPherson,
...Linda: People fear having crises befall them and they go to extraordinary lengths to keep them form ever occurring. But no matter how hard we try,
...Linda: The stress is on, so here are a few things that may assure you that your stress level is normal and understandable with the drastic and sudden changes that we are in the midst of.
...Linda: In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, we are being presented with a big opportunity to take a crash course in conflict management. Here are some examples of strong differences that people are dealing with that I have spoken with just in the last week.
...Linda: Some people believe that falling in love is something that just happens to us. This is a passive orientation. The active orientation is one in which there is a belief that with intention,
...Linda: Crises are inherent in our lives and in all of our relationships. Both our lives and our relationships involve growth and will sometimes be characterized by sudden change.
...Excerpted from That Which Doesn’t Kill Us: How One Couple Became Stronger at the Broken Places by Linda and Charlie Bloom
Linda: This vignette occurred in the 1980’s in a challenging time in our partnership,
...Linda: Sometimes, in our attempts to keep our relationship in a zone of calm and cooperation, too much accommodating is going on and resentment starts to build.
...Linda: The reward for the work of becoming a person of integrity is that we begin to live a life of harmony. There has been a significant amount of inner work,
...Linda: Most couples wait too long to get help. Unnecessary suffering occurs in secrecy and isolation when you are too embarrassed to ask for assistance.
...Linda: Sacred Partnership is a process that takes time, effort, skill, knowledge, intention, and courage. The model of spiritual partnership is new to the human experience.
...Too often we underestimate the power of touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
...Linda: It’s hard to admit the awful things we do and say and don’t do and don’t say that cause harm to those we love.
...Linda: Sometimes I have clients come to me who aren’t sure if they want to bother to put in the time, money, and effort that is required once you commit to couples’ counseling.
...